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Newest Employee Benefit – Divorce Insurance!

Jan 29

You know what happens when you go through a prolonged recession?  Divorce rates drop.

It’s pretty simple economics.  It costs more money to live alone in two separate spaces, then to live together in one.  It cost money to get divorced, you can live in misery together much cheaper!

You know what happens when the economy rebounds and everyone is getting those new shiny jobs!? Divorce rates increase.

It’s pretty simple economics.  Why live with an asshole when you have your own money and can find someone who will treat you like the princess that you are!

Yep, HR Pros it’s that season, the season when you’re going to once again become a marriage counselor.  You should know that with increased employment opportunities come increased desires to finally take that step out of a bad marriage and into the awesome life of online dating and eating Ravoli out of can with your cat at 9:30 pm on Friday night while watching Bachelor reruns.

I know. I know. You hate being a marriage counselor to your employees.  First, they never will listen to your advice. Second, they will never listen to your advice. But, I think I have a solution for you. Did you know you can now purchase Divorce Insurance for your employees!  I mean what tell an employee that you care so much about their well being that we, your great employer, will help you break up your marriage!? I say nothing!

Trying to get your employees to call EAP and go to counseling is so 1990’s!  Employers who truly care about their employees in the 2010’s get them Divorce Insurance.  Yes, it’s real.  Check it out – DivorceInsurance.com – basically you pay premiums, like all insurance, and in the ‘rare’ case you get divorced, they pay your cash to help with the financials costs of a divorce. It’s like Aflac, but for Love! (Hey, don’t try and steal that now for you commercials DivorceInsurance.com!)

Look if you’re going to talk me into Pet Insurance for your stupid cat, you can definitely talk me into Divorce Insurance!  In fact, maybe we could just set up a cafeteria plan of worthless insurances and let you pick like 2 out off the list as one of the benefits the company will offer you.  “Yeah, I’d like the Divorce Insurance and the Immaculate Conception Insurance.”

Being a former child of divorce maybe one of these companies could come up with “Creepy Step Dad Insurance” – oh wait, they’re in the business of probability.  Probably not a good bet on their part…

 

 

 

3 Comment to “Newest Employee Benefit – Divorce Insurance!”

  1. Hey, maybe this is an incentive to get me to be an employee again – NOT :^)

    Jan 29, 2014
  2. Reminds me of the now defunct loyalty program for staying married:

    http://www.symbolist.com/blog/2007/04/50_breakage_gua/

    Jan 29, 2014

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