Love Love Love

I love to love. I’m not into expecting it back in the same way. Not everyone gets that, though. You hear people saying, “I love that person,” but when they don’t get the same love in return, they act like they never loved them in the first place.

Work relationships are kinda like that.

When you’re working, you want to feel good about your job. You also want your boss to feel good about you. It’s a two-way street.

For me, loving someone doesn’t change just because they might not love me the same way back. My kids loved me like crazy when they were little. I was their world. Now that they’re older, I’m not the center anymore, but that doesn’t change how I feel about them. It’s growth, not a downgrade. I hope I’ve taught them to love their own kids if they have any.

Same goes for employees. If they don’t love me anymore, it hurts, but I’m not going to stop caring about them. I want them to do well, even if it’s not with me. That’s just how I roll.

So, here’s to keeping it real and spreading love!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Don’t Say That!

Found this oldie but a goodie and I thought it would be a fun one to revisit. Still holds true, right?

7 Things You Should Never Say When Asking for a Raise!

Posted on  by Tim Sackett

There are certain conversations in our work lives that cause people the most anxiety and having to go in and ask for money is, on my list, the next most anxious work conversation most people will face.  I can think of many times that I wanted more money, thought I deserved to get more money, and heck even our good old Comp people said the market should be paying me more money, and still, it is a difficult conversation to have with my superior (at least for me).

Like many people, I think I do a good job, give my best effort, produce great results, and after all that, should I really need to ask? Shouldn’t my boss ‘get it’ and just want to write me a blank check?!

With all this in mind, most people will screw this conversation up by saying things they really want to say, but shouldn’t, if they’re trying to get a raise.  Here are the top things you probably shouldn’t say when asking for a raise:

1. “If you pay 10% more, I will really put in some extra effort!” – So what you’re saying is you’re not putting in extra effort now…

2. “I looked in our HRIS system and I know Sheila on the 5th floor is making $5000 more than I am – and she’s an idiot!” – Not the best strategy to look at others’ private comp information, even if you have access, then call them an idiot – at least in my experience…

3. “If you don’t pay me more money, I’ll be forced to find another job that will pay me what I worth” – Be careful, I’ve tried this one, and they might call your bluff!

4. “I’ve done the math and if you fire Mike, I can do his job and mine, you save $50K, after giving me $25K of his $75K salary” – This actually might be a really good idea, But Mike might be the last one standing with the $25K raise, not you!

5. “I really don’t understand how you can be worth $50K more than me, I do all your work – and deserve more money” – Bosses just love to hear they are overpaid, don’t do anything, and you can do their job – NOT!

6. “I saved the company $1 million in reducing recruiting fees, by implementing a social media strategy successfully, I should at least get a fraction of those savings” – Why, yes you should – if you were in sales, but you’re in HR, and this was part of your job description. Sorry for the wake-up call – all employees aren’t treated equally – put on a helmet.

7. “I know times are tough, so I was thinking instead of more money you could give me an extra week’s vacation or pay for my health insurance or something else like that.” – Okay, Einstein, stop thinking – it’s all money. Vacation, health insurance, paid parking, lunch money – it all hits the bottom line on the income statement. You just showed how expendable you really are.

I’ve learned over the years, through trial and error (okay, mostly error) that many, if not all, of the above statements just don’t seem to have the impact that I was hoping for with my supervisor.  I have seen peers, who performed well, were loyal, dedicated to doing their best for themselves, their co-workers, and the company, and got the raise they wanted by just being patient.

Supervisors are as uncomfortable as you are to have the compensation conversation. If you are as good as you profess to be, then they do want to give you more, but probably can’t due to budget, market, others performing even better than you, etc. It may be the hardest thing to do, but being patient usually works out the best of all!

I’ve Always Been a Straight-Shooter

Like most recruiting teams, we deal with our fair share of “Repeat Offenders” – those folks who just won’t quit when it comes to job contacting you. Maybe we’ve called them, interviewed them, or even hired them at some point. But now, they’re like persistent shadows – calling, emailing, hitting us up on LinkedIn, and even sending friend requests on Facebook. Stalker!

One of our recruiters said, “John Smith (a boring fake pseudonym, I know) won’t stop bugging me; he emails me his resume every single day!” We all know John Smith. He used to work for us at a client, and it didn’t end well. Now, he wants us to find him his next gig. But here’s the catch – it’s not about his skills; it’s his personality. He was a pain for the client and his co-workers, and frankly, he’s not the right fit for any job.

So, here’s the burning question: How do you get John Smith to back off? This is a situation every recruiter faces sooner or later.

Here’s my simple solution:

  1. Tell Them! Be honest. That’s it – no more steps.

    The problem with recruiters is that we’re scared to burn bridges. We worry about where the person might end up, who might hire them, and we don’t want to mess up our good rep. We’re all about the “Candidate Experience,” right? Well, that’s a load of nonsense. It’s just avoiding conflict. It’s better to give them that gift than let them walk around clueless. So, be straight up.

    Tell them exactly, very specifically, and calmly, with no ill intent: “I want to give you a gift. You might not see it as a gift right now, but I hope in time you’ll understand it to be a very valuable gift. I (don’t use ‘we’ or ‘us’ or ‘the company’ – you’re avoiding again by using those) – I think you have a significant personality flaw that comes across as annoying to me and, from the feedback I have received, to those you work with. If this does not change, I won’t be finding you any job in the future, and you’ll probably struggle to find one on your own as well.” OUCH! That hurt, right? But, read it again. Was there anything mean or untrue in the statement? If this person actually listens to the statement and acts on it, will they be better for it? You can change the reason for whatever issue the person might have – maybe it’s hygiene, maybe it’s a crazy laugh, who knows – but the basic message stays the same. You need to change, or I never want to speak to you again.

It’s tough for recruiters because we’re trained to be nice, but sometimes being nice means stringing people along. It’s rude not to tell them what’s wrong. Stop with the blow-off lines and start telling the truth. At the very least, you’ll free up time to talk to the candidates who actually matter.

Reject Like a Pro

Getting turned down for a job sucks, but how you handle it can impact how people see your company. A while ago, I applied for an executive gig, and 18 months later (emphasis on this), I got a snail mail rejection letter. No communication for 18 months – then a rejection. Now that’s a solid candidate experience, right!?

That experience got me thinking about the dos and don’ts of rejection letters. Here’s the lowdown:

Dos:

  1. Send signed letters to folks you talked to personally – phone calls, meetings, or internal referrals. And don’t wait 18 months.
  2. Write rejection letters that match your company vibe.
  3. If someone’s a definite no, shoot them the rejection letter. For maybes, keep them in the loop.
  4. Use the ATS for mass rejection emails when there’s been zero personal contact.

Don’ts:

  1. Don’t send a letter to everyone who applies. When someone applies, include a message in your recruitment process, letting them know that only those selected for interviews are considered part of the process. This means we’ll communicate directly with those individuals. Others, thanks for applying – please consider other positions that match your experience and background.
  2. Avoid saying someone else was more qualified – you can’t know for sure. Focus on the one who fits your current needs.
  3. Ditch the promise of keeping resumes for the future. Be straight – if they want another shot, tell them to reapply and maybe network a bit.

In the end, rejection letters should leave people thinking, “Okay, I applied once, and I’d do it again. Maybe even support or buy from this company.” It’s not easy, but doable.

For real feedback on your rejection game, give a few rejected candidates a call. They’re usually cool with sharing their thoughts on the process.

I Love a Rivalry!

I’m all about it – winning, competing, the buzz, and yeah, even losing. Losing keeps you caring about winning.

Not everyone sees it like that, though. Some think we should all just get along and that having rivals is old news.

But here’s my take – real competition with rivals pushes us to be better than we thought we could be. Without that push, we’d never hit our top performance.

The snag with rivals at work is it can get ugly real quick if it’s not handled right. That’s why some folks say we don’t need rivals in society.

A badly managed rivalry, especially at work, can wreck the vibe faster than anything else. It turns into a “me against them” deal, even when ‘them’ is just another part of ‘us’!

But, if done right, rivalries can light a fire under leaders and teams, taking them to some crazy high performance levels. External rivals, like competitors, bring that extra kick. Those are the rivalries we love – kicking the competition’s butt!

Internal rivals can be just as motivating, maybe even more because it’s real. Your rival is someone you know, or at least more than your competition.

This relationship with an internal rival is where the energy comes from, both good and bad. We hope these internal rivalries drive both sides to greatness, but it doesn’t always pan out that way.

Usually, internal rivals end up trying to outdo each other, when what we really want is both sides reaching greatness and cheering each other on. I used to think it wasn’t doable when I was a young leader.

One side wins, one side loses. That’s a rivalry.

But over time, I’ve seen that the best leaders figure out ways for healthy rivalries, getting everyone to back each other up and celebrate together. It’s about plenty – there’s enough success for all of us. As you succeed, and your co-workers succeed, that success lifts us all.

I first saw this in college sports. A coach taught us to push each other as rivals in practice when it helps us be our best. But when it’s game time, we stick together to reach our goal of winning. It’s about the team.

So, leaders, when you’re setting up internal rivalries, keep in mind that concept of plenty and togetherness. It’s about me, until it’s about we. The leader’s got to show us where that line is.

Is it time to go with the flow?

Whenever HR folks hang out, they often think they’re the rebels in the room. But truth be told, when you look at what they say and do, we’re all not much different from everyone else. This isn’t just an HR thing; it’s all over our workplaces. It’s like we’re stuck in this ‘Group-think’ mode.

Back in the 1950s, Solomon Asch did a study where students had to solve simple problems, like figuring out if two lines were the same length. Some students purposefully gave wrong answers, and guess what? Three-quarters of the others went along with the wrong answers at least once. It’s a reminder that as humans we tend to follow the herd, even when it’s clear they’re off track.

In the corporate world, the contrarian label often gets slapped on the CEO or someone on the fast track to getting the boot. Despite what top executives say about valuing contrarian ideas, the truth is, going against the grain isn’t well-received in companies. So, it’s kind of amusing when HR pros claim they’re the rebels in their organizations. No you’re not. Plus, do you really want to be?

Let’s cut to the chase – HR doesn’t have to be the rebel; shouldn’t they just go with the flow? HR needs someone who totally drinks the Kool-Aid and fully supports the mission. It might sound rebellious in its own way, especially if the boss is a visionary leader, but that’s what organizations need from HR.

HR needs to toe the line. Conform to the vision, conform to the mission, and lead by sticking to the organizational goals. By embracing this kind of conformity, HR can actually make a real difference in the success of the company.

Your Secrets Are Safe With HR

I’m not big on secrets, but let’s chat about the lowdown that HR folks usually have. In the HR circle, there are always a few things we’re told to hush about.

These are the secrets that only we as HR pros have:

  1. Spotting folks in the office about to exit. Others might catch wind, but HR usually has the inside track on everyone’s moves.
  2. Knowing who’s moving up the ladder, and not necessarily because they earned it.
  3. Figuring out how much you’ll get in your next raise. Yep, we already know, but don’t slack off – we don’t want it looking pre-decided.
  4. Understanding why some departments get more resources than others. Sadly, we can’t spill the beans – it would mess things up!
  5. Getting a sneak peek at your annual bonus 6-12 months in advance. Budgets need planning, after all.
  6. Anticipating changes to your benefits 4-8 months before they kick in.
  7. Knowing who might go off the deep end at work. Can’t tell you for privacy reasons…

There are probably more secrets, but they’re not just HR-exclusive. Consider this: We might tweak our metrics, but guess what? Every other department does it too! In a corporate world driven by politics and metrics for resources, the numbers won’t always be squeaky clean. What makes HR unique is our stash of substantial secrets and the duty to keep them locked up. One common pitfall for new HR folks is sharing these secrets to make friends – it usually backfires.

So, yes, HR’s got secrets – you knew it, and I’m just confirming. Let’s keep moving, though, because I’m not spilling the beans on the details!

Keep at it!

Back in the day, sales, marketing, and recruiting weren’t about fancy automation tools. It was all about your trusty ‘date book’ or relying on your memory to give Timmy from HRU a ring just to check-in.

Old-school sales meant one thing: keeping at it. Reminding folks that you’re still interested, still eager for their business. It was all about bagging that deal before someone else did.

CRMs? They’re good at their job, but sometimes, they miss the mark. I can easily brush off those automated CRM messages—I’ve been in that loop. But you know what I can’t ignore? The persistent lady who’s left me nine voicemails. The power of a nudge. That level of dedication deserves respect. I get how tough it is to make that many calls.

I’m all for tech—I’ve tried it all and automation sure makes life easier. But there’s an art to the old way of following up, keeping at it, a rhythm and persistence that’s hard to replicate.

Sure, you might get tired of “John” who calls every month, but guess who’ll come to mind when you’re in a bind? Not the newcomers who show up when you’ve made it big, but John who was there from the start. John who kept at it.

The downfall comes when companies forget the human touch in their CRM strategy. It’s not about choosing one or the other—it’s about blending both. So, next time you see a familiar number calling or delete an email without a read, remember the effort behind it. The humans are keeping at it, working hard to keep those connections alive!

Optimizing Recruiting Efforts: Never Underestimate the Power of Nudging!

I hate administrative work. Dotting i’s and crossing t’s puts me to sleep. I’m not a tasky person. This past week, I had to do a billing/invoicing thing for a client. It was like this 37-step process that I’m sure some accountant is so proud of. It wreaked of CYA. They used technology and walked me through each step. Dot this i. Cross this t. Give us three pints of your neighbor’s youngest son’s blood. You know the deal.

I skipped over one step because it was a live verification step. They wanted to verify that the person willing to go through 37 steps was actually a real person. I didn’t have time for this nonsense. I’ll ignore it. Most likely, they won’t need it. I mean, look, I’ve got a blog! Tens and tens of people know me. Surely, some real person on the other end of this process will see this and check the box.

Nope.

That’s when the nudges started. “Hey, Mr. Sackett, We see you mistakenly forgot to schedule your meeting with us…” Ugh. But, look, I’m a pro. I’ll keep ignoring it, and it’ll go away.

Nope.

“Hey, Idiot, Do you ever want to get paid?”

Okay, the tech wasn’t ever rude, although I suspect if it were, I would be more apt actually to respond! The nudges kept coming, and I was worn down. I scheduled my little call and finished the process. Long story short, the nudging worked. It always works.

I saw some data this past week from a company that gets about 2,000 applicants a month. Only about 500 of those actually follow through with the process and turn it into an interview. What’s the process, you ask? They get sent a link to schedule an interview! The company sends out one “reminder” after 24 hours, and then nothing ever again.

They decided maybe we should give some of these applicants one more chance and send them another reminder/nudge to have them schedule an interview. In the first round, an additional 300 responded. The company got 300 more interviews by sending out one email reminding them to click a link to schedule themselves for an interview.

Nudging works.

I tell my recruiting clients that you can never nudge enough. Your goal in nudging applicants to finish your process is to receive cease and desist letters from attorneys! If someone started your process, clearly they have interest. Our job as talent acquisition professionals is to follow up on this interest until we are 100% sure they no longer have interest. Not 97% sure. 100% sure!

It’s the only thing in recruiting that is black and white. You are either interested = Yes. Or you are not interested = No. Hearing nothing = make more f*cking nudges!

Your nudges should be multi-modal, meaning you should nudge via email, SMS, LinkedIn messenger, snail mail, phone calls, smoke signals, etc. You can use these modes simultaneously, like sending a text and an email at the same time. Or my favorite, The Triple Threat, calling the applicant and leaving a voice mail, texting them and saying, “Hey, I was the crazy person who just called you,” and sending an email, all together. 60% of the time, it works every time!

If we have learned one thing today, it’s to nudge more. Nudge all day, every day. Nudge until you can’t nudge any more. Then, nudge a little more. Get nudgy with it! Just Nudge It!

A Common Sense Crisis

In today’s world, the most precious asset is… common sense. Que “my precious” by Gollum. It’s become a rarity, dwindling away from our grasp. But I want to hold on to it so bad!

Society seems to have lost its ability to acknowledge perspectives beyond our own. Instead of embracing a variety of views, we’ve become one-way thinkers—where there’s only right or wrong, each person interpreting their own truth. It’s a messed-up reality that’s causing a lot of trouble and fights in our lives.

The breakdown in our ability to exercise common sense has led us to this. We’ve forsaken the middle ground, fixating on extreme ends. Rather than striving to understand various viewpoints, we’ve adopted an alarming stance: “I’m right, you’re wrong, end of story.”

Deep down, we recognize this flaw. How? By dismissing anyone who disagrees with us. It’s far simpler to cling to our existing beliefs than to step into the shoes of another.

This challenge isn’t fixed to a specific year or time. It’s not about 2020 or 2024—it’s about our collective inability to embrace common sense. The thing is, the extremes of a spectrum don’t show what’s right or wrong. The real answer is in the middle, where different views come together.

When hiring, I’m no longer fixated solely on a specific skill set or educational or experience. People who still hold onto common sense are what I’m looking for. It’s not just a passing trend—it’s crucial in a world where balance is lacking. It seems common sense is not so common!