Things…

Summer is in full swing in Michigan which means we have about 6 more days to enjoy before winter, but here are some summer things that I’m enjoying right now:

Slip-N-Slides: I have an 8 year old son, and about 37 kids under 9 in my neighborhood and my wife recently went out and got the side-by-side racing slip-n-slide – so you can imagine the amount of kids losing their minds at my house right now!    One Warning slip-n-slides aren’t made for adults, there is nothing about running and diving onto a wet piece of plastic that an adult should attempt – you’ve been warned.  Now a fun game that the Dads can put together is slip-n-slide race betting.  It’s pretty simple, here is a list of what you need: lawn chairs, cooler of adult beverages and money.  Then you sit around bet on kids winning slip-n-slide races and just really enjoy the quality time with your kids – who says Dads aren’t involved!

Dad Ball: Let me do this with full disclosure – my name is Tim Sackett, and I’m a Parent Coach…I feel like I have to give the AA introduction, because I’m definitely going to need therapy once my kids are all through the parent-coaching stage!   Coaching your own kids is probably the closest thing to child-parent-abuse without physical contact that I can imagine.  Dads completely lose their freaking minds when coaching their own kids – but not all in the same way – so I’ll give you run down of types of Dad Ball Coaches:

Coach Moses: This is the Dad who thinks his kid walks on water!  You know the type, this is the Dad who has a kid who is probably a decent player, but there are other kids who are better, but he continues to put his kid in prime positions in the field and batting lineup – even when they don’t produce.  Coach Moses will tear apart a team faster than any other type of coach.  The only time a Coach Moses can be successful, is when their kid is truly the best kid on the team – and it’s very apparent.

Coach Dalai Lama: This is a Dad who tries to make it all about the “experience”.  This Dad is all about fairness, and equality – winning isn’t the goal, learning is the goal.  After all these are just children, and we’ve been given this gift and opportunity to mold them, and we need to protect this opportunity like the fragile butterfly out of the cocoon.  This is also the team that get’s beat by hundred runs every game!

Coach Knight (as in Bob Knight):  This is the Dad who yells – yells – and yells.  He yells at the players, yells at the umpires, yells at the other parents, yells at his mother – you get the idea.  These are the guys that believe the only way you get the most out of your kids is by yelling at them to keep them motivated.  This is usually the most hated of all Dad Ball coaches – but from personal experience, I’ve had some Coach Knights that were actually the best coaches.

Coach Bobby Boucher (pronounced Boo shea):  From the Adam Sandler movie The Waterboy – This is a Dad Ball Coach who played the sport in high school, but wasn’t any good – thus the “waterboy” reference…  You can imagine, this coach is trying to re-live their failed youth, but driving their team to win the league championship.  This coach is usually the main figure on the team – out in front of the actual team – the winning is all about their job as a coach, the losing is all about those idiot kids failing.  Nothing like a grown man re-living this life’s failures through the blood, sweat and tears of adolescent boys!

1 thought on “Things…

  1. You forgot the the dad coach that is only there to coach his kid and pretty much ignores the rest of the team. They signed up to be a coach only to make sure they were in a position to make sure their kid gets their share of the spotlight whether they have the skills or not. They usually are very critical of the other dad types which is entertaining to watch. That relationship and how different people handle it is entertaining to watch.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.