Around Mother’s Day, the PR folks at Salary.com sent me an infographic. (Editor’s Note: please do not take this as an invitation to send me your infographic! I get at least one per day. I know it’s your job to push these onto people in hopes they’ll publish and you’ll get SEO, but most of them are awful. Yes, you’re is awful!) This salary.com piece caught my eye because it listed what a Stay-at-Home Mom should make for a salary!

So, what do you think that amount is!?

For 2018, salary.com figured a stay-at-home Mom should make a salary of $162,581!!!

That’s a nice salary! I will tell you my wife definitely makes that much! Because she takes home 100% of what I take home! 😉 BTW – Mom’s got a $5000 raise from 2017. Pretty nice!

Check out the infographic – it lists Mom’s salary from 2009 ($122,732) to present. I think Mom’s in 2009 were way overpaid by the way!

My wife and I have an agreement, a marriage contract, that I can’t write about her, which I break about 2-3 times per year. I try to break it in the best way possible that makes her look like the Hall of Fame wife and mom she is, and in return puts me in good graces! She says I should write a book on how to be a good husband because I’m 100% a great husband about 60% of the time.

So, I need to break down this $162,581. That’s a big number, but like most compensation figures, it’s just magically made up from bad data and we just end up paying the figure that we have to pay, if we want the talent. Yes, that was a shot a the compensation profession, err, arts, err, black magic…

My wife is worth $162,581 assuming I actually have that much to pay her. Otherwise, she’s probably worth more or less, based on the budget!

Here’s what I, and my 3 boys,  get for my $162,581:

• Unlimited consultation with every decision and action we take.
• Expert advice on everything, except technology and anything out of doors.
• Someone who will fight to the death for your honor, will also putting you in your place.
• A magical person who somehow gets out every stain.
• A house so clean people think we must be selling it.
• An endless supply of boxes on the front porch for places like Amazon, JCrew, Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, Target, etc.
• Well prepared meals that are both tasty and nutritious, unless it’s been a hard day, then it’s probably pizza.
• A full rundown and recap of what my family has been up to on social media all day.
• A fully functioning teacher that knows something about everything. Plus, full editing capabilities on all papers.
• Exercise coach and in-home Physical Therapist. Untrained Nurse Practitioner, but fully functioning.
• Pet Therapist, dog walker, Vet assistant.
• Neighborhood Uber driver and security guard.
• Other wifely duties I’m contractually obligated not to discuss on this blog or any public forum.

I know I’m missing things. It would impossible to actually list out all of the duties of a stay-at-home mom, because they get asked to do everything!

If my wife goes away from 24 hours, our world falls apart and I quit the job of stay-at-home Dad before she gets far enough away from the house to hear me scream in terror! Stay-at-home moms are the real superheroes in the world.

I’ve been telling this to anyone who will listen for years now, the best hire you will ever make in your business, is to hire a woman who had to stay at home and raise kids for an extended period of time! They actually love coming to work, and they work! It’s like magic!

When a hiring manager tells me they don’t want to interview a woman because she has been at home for 5 years, I punch them in the face and fire them, because they’re an idiot! They have the potential to hire a unicorn! You don’t ever pass up hiring a unicorn!