So, I’ve been hearing for a while all the great publicity of the Impossible Burger (or other plant-based meat products). I even got pictures sent to me by my friend Laurie Ruettimann who was cooking Beyond Burgers and Sausages over the holiday weekend. It seems like meatless burgers that taste like real meat burgers are a thing, especially for people who don’t eat meat because it’s murder but they want that great murder burger taste!

Let’s be clear, I actually didn’t order the Impossible Burger or make one for myself, one of my son’s, Cameron, ordered it and said I could have a bite of his. I actually took two bites.

Very first thought that came into my head when I could actually taste the burger in my mouth:

-College cafeteria burger. I’m not sure if you remember your college cafeteria in the dorms, but this literally was the only thought that came into my head. Not a bad taste, but instantly I was transported back to eating a burger that was looked like a burger, somewhat tasted like a burger, but didn’t really seem 100% like a burger I was used to getting at home off the grill. Those cafeteria burgers are cooked and then they ‘float’ them in hot water for hours until the college kid comes and says “give a burger”.

-A bit of different texture to a real burger, but not that drastically different. I wasn’t mushy or dry, it was actually kind of juicy in a weird way.

-Looks like a burger. Talks like a duck, walks like a duck, it must be a duck, right?

Thoughts after the experience:

-If you like a real burger, Impossible Burger isn’t a replacement. When I go to Shake Shack and order a double cheese Shake Burger and the bun is completely soaked with grease and you take that first bite, well that my friends is what life is all about. Clogged artery deliciousness and gold old red meat, ground chuck, just run it by the fire until it stops mooing love!

-I will say I had a strange sense of wanting to vote for further environmental regulations after eating the Impossible Burger, but I think that had more to do with the “Soy Protein Isolate, Pyridoxine Hydrochloride, Methylcellulose, Zinc Gluconate, Cultured Dextrose, etc.” in the ingredients than it actually changing my political identity.

-Science is amazing. If you gave me this burger on a plate with fries and never told me it was an Impossible Burger, I’m not 100% sure, after five gin and tonics, that I could tell the difference.

I’m not a person who’s going to go all red-blooded American who eats meat on you. I like all kinds of foods and I could care less what you want to eat. I’m not, and will never be Vegan or Vegetarian or Gluten-free, but if that’s what you like, good for you! More power to you. I love a great Filet from a really expensive restaurant, with asparagus and some kind of cheesy potatoes. I cook some kind of meat on the grill at least twice a week on average all year long.

What was your experience with Impossible Burger? Did you like it, love it, gotta have it? I’m 100% sure I could make it up into meatballs and put it in sauce and no would know the difference!

Hit me in the comments.