I’m a big proponent of the concept you have no ability whatsoever to make someone happy. You can be the best, most energetic, positive person in the world and you have absolutely no ability to make someone happy if they do not want to be happy. Each individual makes a choice, no matter the situation they are in, to be happy and enjoy life, or to be miserable and complain, or maybe it’s dependent on the day, situation, etc., they are somewhere in the middle of those two points.
It’s not your job. It’s not your spouse. It’s not your boss. It’s you.
How do I know this? I’ll give you one example of a 18 year old boy who has terminal cancer, only a few months to live, and he ‘chose’ happiness. Zach Sobiech has an amazing story that you must experience – perspective is something I don’t think we ever get enough of. Zach chose to use music and lyrics to get out his feelings and leave a legacy to his family and friends, and became a YouTube sensation with his song “Clouds” – video below –
His full story is here and will be the most powerful thing you’ll watch in a very long time – it’s 20 minutes – you won’t be able to stop watching it. Zach died this week from his cancer and I felt compelled to share his story.
Happiness is chosen.
Thanks so much for posting about this, Tim. I agree with you that happiness is a choice one makes – not a set of circumstances or a result of one’s situation. There are, of course, certain obstacles one must overcome, and tactics people can use to scale those walls, e.g. living to one’s strengths and acknowledging one’s passions, motivations, and expressing compassion for one’s own struggles by acknowledging them. Positive psychology is an emerging science that strives to make people happier using principles like these, and can help people become happier on their own. I’m a believer that PosPsy is only going to become a bigger force in not only people’s personal lives, but in the workplace.