Monthly Archives: June 2011

What Over Communicating says about you…

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I’ve been told that I over communicate from time to time – I like to think it’s a good thing – that I’m transparent – that I’m keeping everyone in the loop – but in fact – over communicating is as bad as under communicating.   Over communicating usually starts because someone told you that you don’t communicate enough – so you go right-ditch, left-ditch in your attempt to correct – you over-correct.   Great communicators say what needs to be said, when it needs to be said and to whom it needs to be said – nothing more, nothing less.

So, what does Over Communicating say about you:

– That you can’t put together a clear and concise thought.

– That you don’t have buy-in from the group/person you are trying to communicate with, so you keep communicating hoping that will make them buy-in (this is the I’m going to keep talking until you cave into my way of thinking person – and you know – it works to often!)

– That you don’t value other peoples time.

– That you don’t know your audience.

– That what you have to say is more important than what others have to say or believe.

– That you like to hear yourself talk, or read the words you write.

Over communicating comes in many forms, but the one that drives me absolutely crazy is what I call the One Size Fits All Communication.  This is when a person has a specific problem or issue with something – but instead of directly communicating with the individual that can solve the problem – they communicate with a blanket approach.  See if this sounds familiar:

Mary isn’t coming into work on time – it’s not terrible, she is only 5 or 10 minutes late, or she’s there on time, but it’s running in the door right at 8am, and then isn’t settled down and working until 8:15am.  Everyone else in Mary’s department is there before their start time and working when they should.  Pam the supervisor sends out a memo to the entire staff reminding them when the staff starting time is, and what is expected.  She goes on to tell the staff what discipline will ensue if this rule isn’t followed (up to and including Termination! Us HR folks love the phrase “up to and including termination” – I should sell t-shirts that say that!).

Very familiar, right?!  You’ve probably seen one of these memos in the last 90 days!

What does this say about this leader?  Clearly, they are conflict avoidant and lack the ability to deal with problems head on.  The problem with this approach is that the leader loses credibility with the rest of her staff.  They all get it – they all know Mary is a slacker and taking advantage – then Pam goes off and slaps each of their hands for something Mary is doing. Many times, over communicators are individuals that fear direct conflict, and their over communication is a veil drawn over their fear to deal with problems head-on.

What can you do?  Be straightforward.  Check for understanding and clarity. Move on.

Things…

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Keeping with the Friday Things… idea (Laurie Ruettimann told me Friday’s are the worst day to post because of low traffic, so not to waste really good content on Fridays – and I do what Laurie says because she is wildly more popular than I – even though my writing is much better – but with less cat talk! On a side note – I thought the folks at FOT liked me as well by always giving me the “Friday” slot each week – for a long time – until I found this out – guess the joke was always on me!  But let’s face it, I’ll take any day at FOT!)

James Bond 007– For my money there is only one James Bond and he is – Sean Connery.  Roger Moore was a close second, all the others have just been pretenders.  When TNT or TBS run their mid-summer James Bond marathons, I’ll catch myself sitting in front of the TV for hours on a beautiful sunny day watching Dr. No or Goldfinger for the 12th time. Yes, I waste too much of my life.

 Side note – Elvis– when I was 19 or 20 I had ankle surgery over a Christmas break during college, so I spent a couple of weeks stuck on a couch – but for my benefit (I believe) TBS ran every Elvis movie ever made – back-to-back – and while I was a cursory fan of Elvis’s music – I became a huge fan of his movies over that period for the simple fact that he made an enormously large amount (33!) – he sang most of his dialogue – no matter what the role – and they always had pretty girls without many clothes (and if you actually watched them you would laugh out loud at how quickly and cheaply these were put together).  I think the producers of Elvis movies got it – very popular, good looking male lead singer, girls wearing bikinis – doesn’t matter the plot – you’ll sell tickets!

Side note II – I’ve never met another person my age who likes Elvis movies. 

Mountain Khakis – When you’re built like a fire hydrant, as I am – you struggle to find clothes that fit off that rack and don’t need to be tailored – but I’ve found one! – Mountain Khakis.  I’m a huge fan of this brand – they’re expensive, but they are good!  I’ll pay for quality – my Poppy (grandfather) always said it only costs a little more to go first class.   Plus, since I’m a University of Wyoming grad – I love the fact these guys are based out of Jackson Hole, Wyoming!

Easton Town Center– you probably need to put this into perspective, since I live in DeWitt, MI, but I think I’ve found and great mall in the entire world in Columbus, OH!  Who knew?!  Believe me, my wife and I are shoppers and we’ve been everywhere in the country shopping – but I’ve never found a single location like Easton Town Center.  For me it’s probably the combination of almost every store you can imagine with every restaurant you can imagine all being at one location – in a neighborhood type setting that makes you feel like you’re walking around a small town – when it’s really just one big outdoor mall.  Very cool – my wife is scheduling her girls weekend down there soon.

It’s Better To Make A Wrong Decision Fast

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For those that don’t know – I played and coached volleyball for a great deal of my life – being from Michigan I can tell you that is rare (being a male) and I got called “gay” more than once while fundraising to make money to pay for traveling nationally for major tournaments (I think the actual phrases were more like “don’t girls only play volleyball”, etc. –  welcome to the rust belt). Anywho – one piece of my coaching stuck with me (we used with our middle blockers) that I also have used into my adult life and I use it still today:

It’s better to make a wrong decision fast, then make the right decision to slow.

Why?  In volleyball,  when you go to block you have to make split second decisions – you have 3 options – block middle, block right side hitter, block left side hitter.  You rely on your instincts, you rely on communication from your teammates and you survey the situation (where is the pass coming from, where is the setter, how far off the net is the setter, etc.) – then you make a decision.  The problem most middle blockers have at a young age – is they want to be up on every block – they want to make the right decision every time – but by doing this, they rarely make it to block any position – because they are frozen with indecision.  I taught my middles to decide quick, and then do it – do it 110%!  Go to which ever spot you decided to block and block – even if the ball went to another position!

Why?  Some positive things happen by you making the wrong decision quickly. For starters it allows your teammates to make adjustments they need to make to try and get the best possible outcome – believe me your back row players know you made the wrong decision – because they’re staring down the hitter with only one blocker – BUT – it also allows them know how to try and defend that.  If your late, and you have a hole in the middle of block – now they have to guess where to go – fill the hole, cover the line, take cross, etc.  It becomes a guessing game – which you rarely win. What happens if you make the right decision to slow?  About 99% of the time, what was going to happen, already happened – you didn’t make the decision, it was made for you – I like being in control, so this isn’t an option I like.

So what?  Fast Company has a wonderful article on this concept called: Why Keeping Your Options Open is Really, Really Bad Idea – from the article:

Why does keeping our options open make us less happy? Because once we make a final, no-turning-back decision, the psychological immune system kicks in. This is how psychologists like Gilbert refer to the mind’s uncanny ability to make us feel good about our decisions. Once we’ve committed to a course of action, we stop thinking about alternatives. Or, if we do bother to think about them, we think about how lousy they are compared to our clearly superior and awesome choice.

Most of us have had to make a choice between two colleges, or job offers, or apartments. You may have had to choose which candidate to hire for a job, or which vendor your company would engage for a project. When you were making your decision, it was probably a tough one–every option had significant pros and cons. But after you made that decision, did you ever wonder how you could have even considered the now obviously inferior alternative?…

When you keep your options open, however, you can’t stop thinking about the downside–because you’re still trying to figure out if you made the right choice. The psychological immune system doesn’t kick in, and you’re left feeling less happy about whatever choice you end up making.

This brings us to the other problem with reversible decisions–new research shows that they don’t just rob you of happiness, they also lead to poorer performance.

I tend to run into this with younger workers who want to make the right choice, fearing “death” or some other less desirable outcome if they make the wrong choice.  They tend to defer decision making to their boss or a peer instead of making it themselves, thus giving away the chance for superior performance. When in reality, all I want is for you them to make any choice, and we’ll live with the outcome.  I hire great people, so I’m sure they’ll make very wise, research driven decisions – and even then, sometimes they’ll fail.  I’m willing to live with that – if – it’s fast, because that allows us to adjust and find a way to make it right.

Two things at play in this concept: 1. Fast action; 2. Failure is an option, that we can live with.  Give me those two things, and I’ll show you an organization that is on the move – and that can block pretty well!