How To Push Top Talent Away

When you’re trying to bring great candidates on board, communication is key. But sometimes, the wrong word can send them running for the hills.

There are certain words and phrases that can make a candidate lose interest in working for your company. I often tell students that what they say in an interview can make or break their chances of getting hired.

Picture this: You’re interviewing a candidate, and they start explaining why they left their last job, saying, “Oh, it was just a ‘misunderstanding.’ I can explain…”

“Misunderstanding” is a huge red flag! It wasn’t just a mix-up—it likely got them fired. The real misunderstanding is not realizing what they did was wrong.

So, what are the 7 Words that will push candidates away? Don’t use these:

  • “Layoff” – No matter how you spin it, this word is bad news. Even saying, “We’ve never had a layoff!” can make candidates nervous. People want job security, and “layoff” screams instability.
  • “Might” – Top talent wants clear answers, not wishy-washy ones. Saying “might” makes things sound uncertain. Instead, say, “I’m not sure, but I’ll find out for you.”
  • “Maybe” – This is another word that makes you sound unsure. Candidates like to know what they’re getting into, not guesswork.
  • “Unstable” – When you call something “unstable,” it doesn’t sound good. If things are shaky, be upfront about it, but don’t make it sound worse than it is.
  • “Legally” – Nothing good ever follows this word. For example, “Legally, we’d love to give you a $25K sign-on bonus, but…” It usually means bad news is coming.
  • “Temporarily” – This word makes candidates uneasy. For instance, saying, “Temporarily, you’ll work out of the Nashville office, but soon you’ll be in Austin,” just adds uncertainty.
  • “Fluid” – Saying a situation is “fluid” is another way of saying you don’t have a solid plan. Candidates prefer stability, not a situation that’s “up in the air.”

That right there is how to push top talent away!

We often use these words because we’re afraid to be completely honest. But the truth is, most candidates appreciate transparency and believe they can make a difference. By being straightforward, you’ll attract candidates who are ready for the challenge and more likely to stick around.

Everyone Loves A Good Story

I love telling stories. I also love listening to stories. Picture me at Barnes and Noble, throwing elbows to squeeze onto a first-row bench to hear a story alongside the kids. They’re my thing.

Storytelling is a skill, something anyone can be good at if they want to bad enough.

But what does storytelling have to do with HR?

In HR, we usually rely on facts and figures to make our case. We get the data, create spreadsheets, and present our findings in meetings, hoping to persuade others with logic and evidence.

Seth Godin once said, “A statement of fact is insufficient and often not even necessary to persuade someone of your point of view.”

Think about it: Have you ever been in a meeting where someone shared a compelling story that completely changed the tone of the conversation?

Maybe it was a personal story about overcoming a challenge or a funny one that broke the tension in the room. Whatever the case, stories have a way of resonating with people on a deeper level than facts alone.

Seth’s goes on to say: “Politicians, non-profits and most of all, amateur marketers believe that all they need to do to win the day is to recite a fact. You’re playing Monopoly and you say, “I’ll trade you Illinois for Connecticut.” The other person refuses, which is absurd. I mean, Illinois costs WAY more than Connecticut. It’s a fact. There’s no room for discussion here. You are right and they are wrong.

But they still have the property you want, and you lose. Because all you had was a fact.

On the other hand, the story wins the day every time. When the youngest son, losing the game, offers to trade his mom Baltic for Boardwalk, she says yes in a heartbeat. Because it feels right, not because it is right.

There are lots of ways HR pros can better use storytelling: sharing personal stories in presentations, using storytelling techniques for engaging training materials, or integrating employee stories into company communications. Stories have a unique power. They allow us to share our experiences and values, and inspire others to action. In HR, this means going beyond the numbers and presenting information in a way that actually sticks.

Stories make connections.  Connections drive people to act and behave differently.  Things change when behaviors change.  Facts don’t do that – connections do that. Stories do that.

Zero-point-zero!

Zero. Nada. Zip.

In my decades of hiring experience, that’s the exact count of candidates willing to commit to a job without a phone call. Zero-point-zero!

Chances are, your experience aligns closely with this. I swear it’s a universal benchmark across corporate, agency, and RPO sectors, spanning all job types—hourly, salaried, temporary, contract, and seasonal. The whole shabang. No one’s willing to just jump in.

Let me ask you a couple of questions:

  1. Would you accept a job without talking with anyone from the company?
  2. Would you go for an interview without prior dialogue about the role?

My guess is almost 100% will say no to number one, but some of you would actually say yes to number 2. Okay, I’ll buy some of you would go to an interview before ever speaking to anyone live about a job. I don’t think it’s many, but I’ll give you some people just want a job and a text or email communication is good enough for them. I’ll also assume the quality of those people will be questionable.

The fact is that there’s a very strong correlation between engaging candidates through live conversations and their commitment to the hiring process. Like extremely strong.

Recruiters who invest in meaningful phone outreach witness a surge in candidates eager to explore opportunities. This principle holds true in every recruitment setting—every single one.

If you’re not picking up the phone every day, you’re likely missing out on candidates who are ready to navigate your hiring journey.

I Want You To Want Me

We make talent acquisition much harder than it needs to be. We talk about employment branding, candidate experience, and recruitment analytics—all important, but sometimes we overlook the basics of attracting great talent.

At its core, the most powerful talent attractor is simple: it’s about being wanted.

I want you to want me.

Imagine getting a call from a recruiter who wants you to join their team. Doesn’t that make you feel good? It’s like a validation of your skills and worth. We all love to feel wanted—it’s a basic, natural emotion.

The key to successful talent acquisition is helping your team and organization understand this. Imagine if recruitment felt more like trying to impress someone you like, rather than assuming candidates should naturally be drawn to us.

Unfortunately, that’s often not the case. We tend to act as though candidates should be eager to join us, rather than recognizing our own desire to have them on board.

Now, flip the scenario. Imagine that same call from a recruiter, but this time they’re not interested in you personally; instead, they’re seeking referrals. How would that make you feel? Dismissed and unimportant, right?

We want to be wanted. We want to be desired.

If you can shift your recruiters’ mindset to embrace this concept, you’ll notice a remarkable change in how you approach candidate interactions. Understanding that candidates are just like us—yearning to feel wanted—makes recruiting feel effortless.

“So, I shouldn’t act like I’m doing them a favor by talking to them?”

Exactly! Treat every interaction like you’re hoping they’ll agree to a date—with enthusiasm and genuine interest, but without the direct proposal. Consider your communication with candidates as a reflection of how you’d want to be approached yourself.

What it Really Means to Be a Partner

In our little world, being a “partner” carries weight, right? But, serious question. Does anyone really know what it means?

I operate a staffing firm, where I end up working for free quite a bit. Staffing involves providing services up front, hoping to get paid when the right candidate is found. To succeed, you have to minimize the unpaid work as much as possible. I also speak and write in the TA and HR space, I do free work there too. A lot actually.

Often, I’m asked for “favors” – which translates to free work. Despite being called a “partnership,” it’s usually one-sided—I give, they take. I get it, though. Sometimes, giving something for free can lead to future benefits. It’s like a “loss-leader” strategy.

In my experience, this strategy succeeds about 20% of the time. People generally like helping when asked.

In real business partnerships, it’s similar. While you don’t want to work for free, you should always get something in return. Always.

For example, if you partner with a hiring manager, they should provide valuable feedback or help with networking. If they give nothing, it’s not a partnership—it’s a one-way street.

Genuine partnerships involve support, respect, and mutual benefit. Just calling yourself a partner isn’t enough—you have to act like one too.

Soft Feedback Isn’t Cutting It

Today, it’s rare to get honest feedback. Most people just want praise instead of hearing what they need to improve on.

The thing is, folks struggle with criticism unless they’re expecting it. And not many have the guts to handle it well. So, instead of giving real feedback, we often sugarcoat things to avoid hurting feelings.

Here’s an example:

Soft Feedback: “You’re doing well, but it’d be nice if you could push that project forward.”

Honest Feedback: “You’re good at what you’re told to do, but I need someone who can take charge of projects without constant supervision. I’m here to help you grow, but I need more initiative from you. Can you step up?”

Both say the same thing, but the honest one gives clearer direction. Sadly, we rarely give this kind of feedback because we’re scared of upsetting people.

So, how do we fix this?

It starts with hiring. Candidates need to know we value honest communication and expect them to take feedback well. Those who handle it during interviews are more likely to thrive in a culture that values growth over ego.

For existing employees, leaders need to lead by example. They should show they’re open to feedback themselves and train others to give it constructively.

Coaching and mentorship programs can also help. They give employees support and examples to help them embrace feedback for personal growth.

Sure, it takes time and effort. But companies that prioritize honest feedback build a culture of trust and growth. Employees see the value in open communication, making the company stand out as a place where people can truly grow.

Getting Recruitment Right

Sometimes we get so far into the weeds in recruiting that we forget what is actually important.

We have to have a brand!

We have to have an ATS!

And now, a new ATS!

We have to have a CRM! What the hell is a CRM!

Our job descriptions need a refresh, and let’s face it, our career site could use some work too.

And don’t get me started on the employee referral program.

There’s always a million things to do in recruitment, and it’s hard to keep up.

But here’s the thing: recruiting isn’t rocket science. It’s just about finding people to join your team. There are plenty of potential candidates out there; you just need to let them know you’re hiring.

That’s the golden rule of recruitment: Spread the word that you’re looking for new team members.

It’s pretty straightforward, yet so many good candidates slip through the cracks because they didn’t know there was an opportunity.

Recruitment is all about getting the word out. Sure, you might get some applicants who aren’t quite the right fit, but that’s part of the process.

To find the right people, you need to cast a wide net and let everyone know you’re hiring. Cast that net people!

It’s not just about posting on job boards or your career site; it’s about creating a culture where everyone in your organization understands the importance of spreading the word about job openings.

Unfortunately, many companies miss the mark on this. Whether it’s because they’re too proud or they think it makes them look desperate, they don’t make enough effort to let people know they’re hiring.

This is a big mistake that can sink your recruitment efforts.

Recruitment isn’t about showing off; it’s about being humble and inviting talented individuals to join your team.

High-Maintenance Who?

Ever wished there was a way to spot high-maintenance behavior during job interviews?

We hire high-maintenance employees because they’re very good at hiding their diva-ness during the interview process. Sometimes they even hide it through the probationary period of their employment. These are the really hard-to-handle ones because they know they’re divas and hide it long enough to make your life difficult.

So, what’s the best approach when you find yourself dealing with one?

Managing these individuals has been a recurring challenge in my HR career. They have a knack for causing trouble and thrive on being the center of attention. The key lies in redirecting their focus from their personal needs to what the organization requires. But how do you go about doing that?

Usually, high-maintenance employees become a problem because their direct supervisor doesn’t stop this issue immediately when it comes to light. But, this is common, especially with new hiring managers, so it’s critical to work with them and help them become better managers.

These employees are skilled at playing you against their manager. It’s essential to prevent this from happening. Collaborating closely with the hiring manager to create a unified approach is vital. When they attempt to stir up trouble, it’s important to intervene immediately: “Let’s bring in your supervisor so we can sort this out together.” Despite their objections regarding confidentiality, emphasize the importance of clarity and alignment among all parties.

High-maintenance employees hate to be on the same page because they get their power from the lack of communication within organizations. So the best way to limit their impact is to get everyone in the same room and nip the issue in the bud before it gets way out of hand.

Say Goodbye to the Employee Handbook Snooze Fest

Updating an employee handbook is like doing your taxes – it’s a necessary chore that nobody looks forward to. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

There’s two types of companies when it comes to these handbooks:

Option #1 – We’ve had the same employee handbook since the beginning of time. It’s written on stone tablets.

Option #2 – We rewrite our employee handbook each year because it’s the most important document on the planet.

The problem is both options usually end up writing an employee handbook that reads like a welcome packet to prison. If you forced candidates to read your employee handbook before actually accepting a position with your company 99% would decline your offer!

Your handbook can be more than just a boring document; it can be engaging and reflective of your company’s culture. Here are some tips to make your handbook more appealing to people like me:

  1. Tell a Story: Instead of listing rules and regulations, try to tell a story. People are more likely to read through something if it’s presented in a narrative format. Work with someone in your organization who has a knack for storytelling to craft a more engaging handbook.
  2. Explain the ‘Why’: Many rules in handbooks seem arbitrary. To make them more understandable, explain the reasoning behind them. Even if the rule itself remains unchanged, transparency helps employees understand its purpose.
  3. Add Visuals: To make your handbook more visually appealing, bring in a graphic designer to add some color and simple illustrations. This can help break up the text and make it easier to read.
  4. Communicate Your Culture: Your real culture. Don’t have a funny and engaging handbook when you have a buttoned-up culture, it sends a mixed message. Also, don’t write this boring legal document of a handbook if you have “No Pants Wednesdays” in your office. It doesn’t fit your culture!

Does anyone have a good employee handbook story? What’s the longest handbook you’ve seen?

Your Nose Is Growing! Top Candidate Lies

This is a rerun that I like to share every few years because it never misses the mark. What other lies, excuses or categories am I missing? Drop your favorites in the comments!

Every Monday morning I have a meeting with my recruiting team – it’s a great way to kick off the week – we share what we are working on, we talk about problems we are having on specific searches so the team can share ideas and tips, maybe even a possible candidate they know of, etc.  We also share stories!  Monday mornings are great for sharing recruiter stories – horrible interviews, funny excuses candidates have, negotiating nightmares – you name it, we talk about it!

I was reminded this week how bad of liars candidates can be – we get a lot of candidate lying stories in Monday morning meetings!  So, as a shout-out to my Recruiters – and all recruiters – I wanted to put together a list of the Top Candidate Lies.  When I started thinking about all the lies, I found I could break it down by category – so here goes – hit me in the comments if you have a favorite that you get – or think of one I missed:

The Education Lies

– “I have all the credits, I just didn’t graduate.”

– “I did all the classes, I just need to pay the fees to graduate.” (so you spent 4+ years going to school, got done, but that last couple of hundred dollars stopped you from graduating…)

– “I graduated from ‘State U’, but it was a long time ago, I’m not sure why they can’t verify my degree.”

 “I had a 3.0 GPA in my ‘core’ classes, but a 1.9 GPA overall…”

– “Well, it was an Engineering/Business degree.”

The Background Check Lies

– “No, I’m not on drugs.” Then fails drug screen. “Oh, you meant Marijuana as a drug…” 

– “She told me she was 18.”

– “They told me in court that never would be on my file, so I didn’t think I needed to tell you.”

–  “No, I don’t have a felony.” (Oh, that felony! But that was in Indiana…)

The Experience Lies

– “When you said Java, I thought you meant experience making coffee.”

– “I was a part of the ‘leadership’ team that was responsible for that implementation.” (So, basically you knew of a project that happened while you were working there…)

The No-Show Interview Lies

– “My car broke down.” (Either through some fantastic wrinkle in space, or gigantic amount of lying, candidates have more car trouble per capita than anyone else ever in the world who has driven a car)

– “I couldn’t find the location.” (So, your answer to this dilemma was to turn around and go home and not call and let us know you got lost?)

– “My son/daughter got sick, so I can’t make it.” (Again – crazy coincidences that happen with candidates and sick kids…)

The Termination Lies

– “It was a mutual decision that I left.” (“So, you ‘mutually’ decided that you would no longer have a job?”, is the question I always ask after this statement! Candidates – this statement sounds as stupid as it reads.)

 “I (or any family member) was in a bad accident and in the hospital, so they fired me for not showing up to work.” (No they didn’t – there are some bad companies out there, but no company does this.)

 “I play on a softball team and after games we go out and have a couple drinks. The next morning my boss smelled alcohol and fired me for drinking on the job.” (This was a true lie I got from an employee – it started out as me just giving him a written warning – until I went lunch, not joking – 10 minutes later at the Chili’s down the street from the office, and there he was belly up to the bar drinking a beer…upon cleaning out his desk we found a half a fifth of vodka.)

Here’s my take on candidate lies – candidates continue to lie because Talent/HR Pros don’t call them out on it.  We (HR) also perpetuate this problem by hiring the folks who give you the crappy lie but don’t hire the folks who come clean and tell you the truth.