Yo! I’m on vacation this week, don’t try and come rob my house, it’s a ‘staycation’! I’m going to run some oldies but goodies so I can let my creative juices focus on Gin and Tonics. Here you go:
We’re right in the midst of this big holiday season and everyone seems to have a favorite. I think most kids love Christmas and Halloween. I mean my kids are Jewish and they still love Christmas – well, let’s face it, they love getting gifts and like any good Jewish Mom and Dad we make sure they get more gifts then their Christian friends! Many adults love Thanksgiving – all the food, football, black Friday shopping, etc. But everyone has a favorite!
I’m going to give you my list of favorite holidays:
1. Tim Sackett Day – Yeah, how soon we all forget! January 23, 2013 will be the 2nd Annual Tim Sackett Day, and it is the one day of the year we can all come together as one, and just think about me for a while. In lieu of gifts this year, I’ll be asking people to just make cash donations directly to my bank account, that way when I think about all the poor and needy children in the world and it makes me depressed, I can afford good mental healthcare for myself.
2. The 4th of July – Yep, I like blowing crap up, drinking and the sun – it’s like the triple threat of holidays! I won’t give $50 bucks for your lame charity walk, but I’ll drop $500 on fireworks and think I underspent. I mean it’s America! Red, white and blue. Hotdogs with mustard. 2nd degree burns on your feet from stepping on those metal sparkler wires (pro tip – put a pale of water out when the kids are running around with their sparklers then as they run at you with that red hot wire, they can just throw it in the pale and hear the cool hissing sound it makes!).
3. Labor Day – It’s the official end summer blowout. The weather is great, you have your grilling skills at peak seasonal shape and you’re only a few days away from your kids returning to school! Let’s be honest, we love our kids, but we love our kids a little more when they are in school all day and we just have to deal with them for about 6 hours between end of school and bedtime.
4. Halloween – There is nothing better than watching your kids sprint for 2 hours straight lugging around 15-20 pounds of candy, and I don’t have to do any of the work! It can be 13 degrees below zero out and my kids will be sweating on Halloween night. I love the candy trading negotiations that go on later that night – it’s when you get to see which one of your kids will actually make it in the real world!
5. Hanukkah – 8 crazy nights and none of your Christian friends get it! “Isn’t that your ‘Jewish’ Christmas?” – no, idiot, not even close! “I wish we had Christmas for 8 days!” and I wish you’d burn down your house again deep frying a turkey! Hanukkah is cool for the simple fact its the one time a year, as a kid, your mom let’s you play with fire! Plus the gelt! Yep, it’s not a Jewish holiday until you involve some money!
6. New Years Day – No work, football games all day and starting anew! For me New Years takes on a special time as well because my first son was born on New Years Day – so we throw a birthday party into the mix, just to ensure we have enough food and cake to make it through all those football games!
Receiving votes, but didn’t make the list: Cinco De Mayo – Tacos and Margaritas – you have to love Mexican holidays!; St. Patrick’s Day – Green Beer and pinching butts – a HR nightmare!; Father’s Day – I get to do what I want, or what my wife tells me I want to do that day!; Black Friday – I mean who doesn’t want to see idiots get trampled to death at Walmart!
So, friends, what is your favorite holiday?