5 Ways Your Boss is Like a Crazy Soccer Mom

I’ve seen a number of news programs report on crazy sports Dads.  You know the type, the guy who is shown screaming at some 8 year old because he happen to miss a free throw in a recreation game that didn’t keep score.  The Dad who is living out his own failed sports career through over coaching his own kids.  I’m not saying I’m one of those Dads, but let’s just say I’ve been through Sports Dad Rehab!  That being said – I happen to think Sports Moms are just as crazy, if not crazier!  Sports Moms are unique in their own right, and have their own language and actions that rival any of the Sports Dads.

What I’ve noticed over the last 12 years of coaching kids is that Soccer Moms are a lot like a number of bosses I’ve had.  Here are some of the similarities:

1. They love the gear! Soccer Moms and Bosses all love wearing the team logos!  Want to know which person is a Mom on the sideline – look for the ones wearing the team t-shirt, sweatshirt and sitting in the team logo chair.  Nothing says team support like a hoodie with your kids name on the back!  Your boss is no different.  Your boss wears the work logo jacket every day, work polo on casual Friday and has been carrying the company logo satchel since 1996.

2. They Cheer for Everyone! Just their own a little louder!  If you’ve ever been in a leadership meeting and seen your boss, he’ll give praise to other departments, but when she’s talking about her own department – look out!  Soccer Moms love all the kids – but when they’re own kid does something – the world will hear about it!

3. They HATE the Competition!  Soccer Moms are ruthless!  You’ve never seen hatred until you’ve seen little Johnny get taken out by a member of a rival team. I’ve seen Soccer Moms almost come to blows with each other over an overly aggressive 8 year old pushing too much!  Watching grown women fight over a youth soccer game is one of the little pleasures I have in life. Your boss has that same spirit – it’s one of the reasons they got promoted!  They are passionate about your company and your competition is the Devil!

4. They won’t refer anyone from their own team!  Unless they suck! It’s on unwritten rule in youth sports that if you have a good team, you will fight to all ends of the Earth to keep that team together, at all costs.  Good teams are constantly poached and Soccer Moms know not to refer anyone on their own team.  “How good is little Johnny?” “Oh, he’s alright, he just cries a lot and has a club foot.”  Your boss will not allow you to leave her group, either, if you’re good.  “You have an opening for a Sr. Rep? Do I have anyone?”  “Oh, I wish I could give you someone but most of my group are ex-felons and pedophiles. Sorry!”

5. They’ll Talk Behind Your Back!  Soccer Moms are great when they’re all sharing a Perfect Margarita at Applbee’s after the game, but you better not be the first Mom to leave!  Bosses are really no different.  Let’s face it, we all have opportunity areas and when bosses get together behind closed doors they aren’t talking about how great we all are!  My rule of thumb is it takes about 8 minutes of talking about any individual before they turn into a piece of crap.  You start out talking about how nice they are and what they do well and if you keep talking, around the 8 minute mark, everyone’s scars start to show!

Ok, Soccer Moms and Bosses – tell me I’m wrong!

One thought on “5 Ways Your Boss is Like a Crazy Soccer Mom

  1. Totally unrelated but my favorite Tim Sackett quote of all time is, “You want to know your wife has a little crazy in her.”

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