I’ve made more mistakes in my HR career than I care to even remember – I could probably write a book!

It’s funny to think about your mistakes, because I think invariably every person takes those mistakes and tries to turn them into some type of “learning”.   It’s a classic interview question – so, Mr. Sackett, tell me about your biggest mistake in career and what did you learn from it?   I even have asked it myself when interviewing others.   Just once I want someone to answer: “well, besides coming to this lame interview, I’d have to say drinking my way through college, getting average grades, and having to take positions within HR probably is my biggest.  What I’ve learned is that all those kids in band, in high school, on the debate team, really were smarter than me, and my ability to be third team all-conference point guard, in hindsight, probably didn’t get me into the career I was hoping for.”

But it never happens – no one is really honest about their mistakes – because in making most mistakes you do something stupid – something so stupid, you’d would rather not share it with anyone.  So, we come up with answers like – “my biggest mistake was working to hard on a project with my last employer, and not getting others involved, and I’ve learned while you can get the project done and on time by yourself, you really need to include everyone.” Vomit. And somehow has HR pros we accept this answer and move onto the next question, almost like that question was just a test – a test to see if you were stupid enough to actually tell us, and brighten up our day!

But, I’ve got one – I do have a favorite and two friends of mind recently made me think about it.  My favorite HR mistake – Telling someone to go after a promotion and  more money, leaving a position they truly enjoyed.  When I started my career right out of college, I gave myself 12 years to become a Vice President.  Seemed like a logical goal at the time – but in hindsight seems obviously stupid now.  It took me 16 years, and only after I realized it no longer mattered did I reach that level.  My two friends both recently had opportunities to leave organizations and positions they really liked – I gave them both the same advice – you can’t even come close to measuring the value of truly liking the job you have – you just can’t.  So, answer me this one question: Do you love what you are doing, and who you are doing it for? If it’s yes, stay put.  It’s that simple, that was my learning.  I’ve left two positions in my life where I loved what I was doing, and loved the organizations – both to take promotional opportunities with other companies.  Both times I made the wrong decision. Tough mistake to make twice

I use to give out this advice to people – go ahead and leave – you’re going to have 10+ jobs in your life, might as well move up as fast as you can.  I don’t do that any longer – in fact I spend time now trying to talk people out of taking new jobs – which I know is ironic since at my core I’m a recruiter! But over time you learn a few things from your mistakes and maybe I’m just trying to share my knowledge…

An old Tibetan monk once said  :

“A drunken mouth speaks a sober mind.”

I don’t know if that is actually said by an old monk or just something someone’s grandfather said, but in terms drinking at an office function, it rings as true today as it did when whoever said it, said it.   The ironic part of the statement is, people will go to great lengths to say the opposite.  “Oh, Tim, please understand I didn’t mean that you are completely incapable of everything – it was the whiskey talking – I don’t really believe that.”  Yes you do!  That’s why you said it when you were drunk – you didn’t have any filters to stop you from saying it!

As an HR Pro I love going to work functions that involved alcohol!  Sure there is some legal/safety risks, but the information you get on your organization is priceless!  The only thing that might be better is to secretly wire-tape my body like they do with the guys that always get caught in the movies – so people will stop asking me why I’m taking notes at the 5th Friday of the month cocktail parties.   If you ever want to find me at a party, I go to the group who is drinking the most, and I carry a tray of drinks over with me, to ensure everyone gets another round without having to leave the conversation.

The only thing better than employees with too much alcohol in them, is the employees that smoke with too much alcohol in them!   These are a unique group of people who tend to talk too much anyway.  I mean they are already going outside for 5-10 times per day for 5-10 minute little breaks to get their smoke on – so they are use to coming up with conversation to pass that time away with the coworker, smoker friends.  The smoker network gets even better with drinks!  People always ask me if I smoke because I go outside with the smokers, and I don’t, but they have the best conversations!  Plus the smokers are the only “group” in your organization that is truly diverse – you’ll get all shapes and sizes, male and female, black, white, blue, secretaries and Vice Presidents – you’ll hear it all!  (newbie HR Pro tip #23 – Hang with the smokers in your organization – you’ll find out everything before it happens!)  When I recruit new Employee Relations people I put a pack of cigs and an ash tray on my desk just to see who bites – I want my ER’s to be smokers!

Ok, let me get back on track – drinkers.  Here’s my suggestion, if you have some issues with your organization, or feel some ill will towards anyone you’ll be around, skip the alcohol and tell everyone you are on some kind of medication that will make you violently ill if you have a drop of alcohol when everyone asks why you aren’t drinking (which will happen because everyone is use to you making an ass of yourself and they like the entertainment). Next, leave early, faking your same illness, because everyone that is drinking will be talking about you – so it will be uncomfortable.  Lastly, head straight to the bar with your best work friend to find out all the gossip!

In a perfect world we all get a seat at the table,  all of our employees go online and fill out their open enrollment forms on time, and all of our hiring manager give us immediate feedback on each candidate resume we send them.  Unfortunately, none of us live in a perfect world, there are some hard and fast truths in our profession that we have to accept, and by accepting those truths, it allows us to let go and move on with trying to better our organizations each day.

Accepting these truths doesn’t mean we are giving up, and not trying to change our profession, our organizations and ourselves for the better.  Accepting these truths gives us permission to accept our reality, and it allows us to work towards, little-by-little, making the HR profession better.

Here are the 7 Hard Truths HR Must Learn To Accept:

#1 – Focusing on compliance, will never allow you to become strategic.  Operations in our organizations have long known this, and this alone allows them to control most of the decision making power in your organization.  A compliance focused department, will never be innovative, it will never creative, it will never be Strategic.

#2 – Your Performance Management system, will not fix everything.  In fact no system or process will fix everything – we drive a people business – thus we deal with a very nebulous product – people.  As soon as you create a process or implement a system, some hiring manager or employee will find a way to find a flaw in it. It’s OK not to be perfect.

#3 – You’ll never get all the resources you need to do the job you want to do.  People are your most important asset, but shareholders/stakeholders need a return on investment.  Thus, resources are always going to first go to where that return is highest, and sorry but HR isn’t first on the list.

#4 – Your companies Deepest Secrets are only a Tweet away. And your social media policy and lock down of social media sites isn’t going to stop these secrets from getting out, if you have a rogue employee who wants to get them out.  This is similar to the reality of you will probably more likely die on your way to work in a traffic accident, then in a plane crash on your way to vacation – but we tend to worry more about the plane crash.

#5 – Your employees and managers will never fully support themselves on Self-Service Modules. It’s a dream, sold to you by software vendors, and you buy into it because you hate dealing with the daily administration of HR.  No matter what, we’ll always have some of this to do – it also, is OK, it’s not what we do all day, every day – no job is perfect.  Pull up your big boy pants and help them out – you’ll live.

#6 –Fraternization will always happen.  We manage adults (even if they don’t act like adults), and until the end of time adults, put in close proximity of each other, will eventually be attracted – blame G*d, blame laws of the universe, blame your parents – I don’t care.  It’s a fact – deal with it.

#7 – You’ll Never get the full respect you deserve.  This is a function of organizational dynamics.  HR doesn’t make the money, operations makes the money – respect will be given to those who actually keep the doors open and the lights on.  If you got into HR for your deep need for respect, sorry, you picked the wrong career.  On the plus side, we get a lot of conference room cookie leftovers!

Classic line from the movie Blues Brothers, that is used more than once as Jake and Elwood good around and visit past band mates in the attempt to – well – put the band back together.  I was reminded of this concept last week when I got a call from a former peer I worked with at another company.  This peer just got a new position as an HR Executive for a large company – and he was attempting to put our “HR Band” back together!

I’m not sure if I was the first call or 5th call – doesn’t really matter – what matters is the concept of how you build a great HR Team.

Here are the ingredients:

1. Great Leader – this is someone who has organizational influence (hopefully right or left hand of the CEO) and has a vision of what makes an organization a great place to work, and the desire and passion to take the organization there.  The last part is important – I’ve worked for leaders that had the vision, but didn’t have the passion to get it there – you need a leader who is going to carry that flag!

2. A Talent Guy/Gal – If you only have money for 2 ingredients -I’m spending my money on someone who understands how to bring great talent into an organization, and has shown in their past the ability to do this.  Again, this is about getting leaders aligned under a talent-mindset where everyone is working under one guiding principle – To Increase The Talent of the Organization.   You don’t get to great (your leaders vision) with average talent – it just doesn’t work that way.

3. Top HRIS Pro – Every organization has limited resources, and a great HRIS person is worth their weight in gold – for the simple fact, they’ll help you do more with less better than any other person you hire.  If you are building a top notch HR team – you need the best HRIS person you can find!

4. HR Brand Manager – Many organizations let Marketing do this – on my team, I’m not giving this away – it’s to important.  Don’t get me wrong – this person must be aligned with my marketing department – I don’t want to go off the reservation on my messaging between my employment brand and corporate brand – but I also don’t want marketing controlling my employment brand completely.  Great places to work, get there by attracting the kind of person your organization seeks to make it great – and this happens through marketing.

5. HR Process Manager:  I don’t want my leader to be a process person – they are the visionary – but I need the details, I need the process – I need this baby running like a clock!  That takes a special personality to dig into and perfect all those details – I need a process person.  A person who isn’t going to roll over, but fight for every dotted “i” and crossed “t”.  A person who is going to make me sit through a 3 hour process flow meeting on my hiring process – so that we know every piece is going to work perfectly. Why? Because that gives you high credibility within the organization.

You give me these 5 individuals and I’ll change your organization into a great places to work in 12-24 months – depending on how screwed up you are!

Yep, it happened again – I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am – I can’t stop myself!  As long as I’m in HR/Recruiting I will never understand how a candidate can accept an interview and then not show up – and worst off, not even call to tell you they are not going to show up.

Is there a worse feeling as an HR Pro?

You have your hiring team assembled, copies of resumes and interview decks, hot coffee, cold water, and then you wait, at first you start to think something must have happened – car accident, bad directions, alien invasion! – there is no way the person wouldn’t have risked life and limb to make this interview – you fear for their safety.  Slowly but surely it started to hit you, you got stood up – No Call, No Show.  The next feeling is a little embarrassment – you have peers and clients you support taking time out to come to an interview you set up, your reputation is on the line – how dare they!  Next comes the anger.  I’m going to black list this person from ever getting a job at my company!  Hell, we should put a list together of people who do this and share it professionally – in fact I’m going to start a website for HR Pros to publicly reprimand individuals who No Call, No Show – it will be called – www.NoCallNoShowsSuck.com!

I think the final emotion I feel when someone No Call, No Shows is sadness.  In what kind of a world do we live in when someone can’t extend the basic courtesy of calling beforehand and cancelling the interview?  It’s so simple, so understanding, just basic common courtesy – “I know I said I wanted to come, but things have changed and I need to cancel, I know longer want to interview with your company.”   Short, sweet, simple. Easy.  Yet, every single person in HR has had at least 1 No Call, No Show.

So, how do you make sure this will never happen again to you?

The only way that you can make sure this won’t happen to you (and even then it might not be 100%) is to get each candidate multiple outs.  The talking points go something like this:

“Mr. Candidate, I know you are probably getting calls daily from organizations – your background and experience is very impressive.  We would like to bring you in for a personal face to face interview with our team.  We want to make this work out for you, etc., etc. etc….(you know the drill – but here’s the important part)  I know you probably have multiple irons in the fire, if at any time you decide you no longer want to pursue our position – can I ask one small favor from you? (yes, make it a question, and wait for an answer)  I’m going to give you my personal cell phone number, could you please call me and tell me you won’t make it?  I have many people taking time out of their schedule to meet with you, and if you decide not to come, I owe it to them to give them this time back for their schedules.”

It’s one paragraph and yes, you have to do it for every single interview.  But you won’t – you know why?  Because you assume that every person will be courteous, that every person you set up for an interview has no better potentials than yours, that every single person has the emotional ability to put you through rejection.  But they don’t!  The above paragraph is letting the candidate know that it’s alright for them to reject you, that you get it and you are fine with it.  It’s not 100%, but it works about 99.9% of the time.  Let candidates know its alright for them to reject you – and you’ll have less rejection!

It’s that time of year right?  Time to clean out the house and garage and get pennies on the dollar for all the crap you bought and now don’t want.  I was reflecting on my visit to SHRM11 last week and that’s what I kept coming back to – Yard Sale.  Let me explain.  The Expo Hall at SHRM National is enormous, unless you’ve been there it’s hard to explain, but it’s a bit like walking through Vegas itself – way to much to look at, and it’s complete sensory overload.  There were literally hundreds of companies selling everything any HR person could ever buy: Insurance (health, supplemental, pet, etc.), Health and Wellness products/programs, incentive and recognition companies, banking, training companies, research companies, recruiting systems/headhunters/sourcing products, performance management and payroll systems, every computer automated type of system you could ever imagine within the HR space – and even some you wouldn’t imagine.  It was a complete mess.

The one question I always leave asking at SHRM National, from a vendor perspective, is the investment really worth the reward for those hundreds of vendors at the show.  Some of the big boys – Monster, ADP, AFLAC, Oracle, etc. I’m sure make out all right – although I could argue they would make out alright even if they didn’t attend. It’s the small players that have a booth on a row 136 in the back corner that I wonder if they even talk to anyone beyond their booth mates next to and across from them during the 3 days the Expo is open.

The other question I left with this time at SHRM was, does HR really need all this stuff?  It’s back to my Yard Sale comment – I think we find ourselves in HR way too often buying for the sake of getting what’s new, when what we have is completely fine and usable.  Does it have a dashboard? Or colored graphs that tells us which manager sucks the most? No. But let’s face it, we already know which manager sucks the most, we don’t need a dashboard or colored graph to tell us this – we just need some “stones” to go tell that person they suck, and to stop sucking.  By the way – not one vendor was selling any “stones” at the conference – although some vendors were giving out alcohol which tends to give you temporary “stones’.

The SHRM Expo is like the Ice Loves Coco reality TV show – you don’t want to watch it, but it’s such a train wreck you can’t keep your eyes off it.  I actually find myself at SHRM giving myself an internal pep talk to get ready to walk into the Expo Hall, and usually finding someone to tag along with me.  It’s like going to buy a used car times a gillion!  Everyone is trying to sell you something, whether you need it or not.  To be more accurate is a cross between the day after Thanksgiving sales and buying a used cars, because on top of all the sales people, you have the HR Ladies fighting to get the trinkets from the vendors and register for iPads – a person not in the right frame of mind, could get seriously hurt!

I brought one thing back from the SHRM Expo hall this year – a clear sense that what we need more of in HR is common sense and not one vendor was selling that.

I have to say my friend and great HR Pro/Blogger – and Top 10 HR Bloggers to follow at SHRM 11 (I was #11 by the way) – Matt Stollak gave me the idea for this post. Being slighted by Monster.com’s @MattCharney gave me the motivation.  On to the Sackett Rules:

The Sackett Rules

1. Don’t call in sick on Mondays or Fridays – no one believes you. (My staff knows this one well)

2. Everyone has a price, it’s a recruiters job to figure that out.  Never take “I’m not interested” as a reason – you just haven’t found out the price where they would be interested. (I don’t want to shovel cow manure, but if you pay me enough, well, heck – where’s the shovel?)

3. It only costs a little more to go first class.  (My Grandpa use to say this – then my Mom – now me – it’s about doing things right.)

4. People won’t remember what you said, but they’ll remember how you made them feel. (That’s why I bring great snacks to meetings, and try and have a funny story!)

5. Always be nice to Mom’s with young kids. (Their day is always much harder than mine.)

6. There’s always a reason to kick an old man down the steps, just don’t do it. (via Chris Rock – this just makes me laugh)

7. Don’t cross the streams. (from Ghostbusters – I use this one with my youngest son, it makes him laugh – he’s never seen the movie)

8. No touching of the hair or face. (Ron Burgundy in Anchorman – my wife will laugh at this – I don’t like people touching my almost gone hair and I had Lasik surgery years ago and don’t like anyone touching my face – and I don’t like bees!)

9. Don’t be victim. (Yeah, you pretty much control what happens to you, I have very little patience for people who play the victim)

10. If you are scrubbing the kitchen floor in your boxer shorts – don’t do it with the shades to the sliding glass door open, while your neighbors behind you are having your other neighbors over for drinks on the back deck. (enough said I believe)

11. No longer use any budget money for Monster.com membership. (see above link)

As will all rules, The Sackett Rules are subject to change at any moment – or whenever my wife tells me to change them.  And Matt, thanks for helping me reevaluate my 2012 Monster.com budget!

In a few days I’ll be leaving for the SHRM National Conference in Las Vegas to pick up some knowledge, blog about HR stuff and try and win me another iPad – because every guy needs 2 iPads! I thought last year was the year of the iPad – but it really was Year of the iTouch at the SHRM Expo Hall.  HR Vendors aren’t the most creative set, so it becomes fairly easy each year to pick out the big giveaway at each booth that all the HR Pros will be going after.  I think last year a few went out of their way to get iPads, but most still went easier route and got the iTouch.  This year, 2011, there is no doubt.  So far I’ve gotten roughly 100+ postcards and 30% are giving away at least one iPad.

So, what else will the Expo hounds being filling their reuasable recycled grocery bags with this year?

Hope to Get:

1. An iPad, of course.

2. One of those silly Monster.com stuffed animals, affectionately called “Trump”, short for Trumpasaurus. I’m not sure why but the SHRM attendees lose their mind over these things, but they do – every year!

3. Chocolate – let’s face it 80% of the people attending are women, not enough vendors pay attention to this. After walking around 5 miles of expo hall and 2 miles back to their hotel, SHRM attendees want 3 things: a hot bath, a cold glass of wine and some chocolate (and maybe to rent Sex and the City 2 OnDemand in their room).

What they’ll be Re-Gifting:

1. Black and White Kindles.  Really, I saw a number of these on postcards – which HR vendors are so disconnected that they would giveaway a black and white Kindle – when the color is available and for $150 more you can have an iPad?  Grandmothers get ready, looks like Christmas will be Black and White Kindle time this year.

2. Any coffee mugs, pens, water bottles, etc. – basically any logo crap they can take back to the office to keep the tribe happy.

3. Something for the kids.  I will say a few HR Vendors have picked up on this and have gotten good at getting small, unique items that kids would like, thus Moms and Dads will stop by their booth to take one home for little Johnny.

What they won’t be getting, but will need:

1. Hangover medication.

2. Tattoo removal kit.

3. Anything of real value (at least in the Expo Hall).

Here’s a tip: The guys at Talent Anarchy got the “prized” presentation spot of 7am on Monday June 27th – right before Monday’s General Session with Arianna Huffington, do yourself a favor and make this the one day you get up early.  Jason and Joe put on a show, and they truly get HR – it could arguably be the best session being put on by SHRM this year.

Like everyone who will be attending SHRM’s national conference in Las Vegas at the end of June, I’ve been getting some postcards!  Ok, I’ve been getting an obscene amount of postcards, all vying for a few minutes of my attention when I hit the expo floor at the conference.  I think it’s funny how they come in all different shapes, sizes and colors – all giving me the hope that I might win an iPad, or some other gotta-have item (BTW – @WilliamTincup – www.tincup.com – might have had the best advice ever for HR vendors working the expo at SHRM – giveaway ladies shoes!) if I just stop by and visit.

Here’s the problem with your postcards – I throw them away – yes, even the ones that say I need to bring it with me to participate in your giveaway, or bring the card for a “special gift” – unless that “special gift” is an iPad or cash or shoes (I’m not a lady, but I am metro and like shoes!).  So, how do you get me to stop by and see your booth?  Here are some suggestions:

– Margaritas – I like margaritas, and if you’re serving them up, you have me for one (or two) – I’m all yours.   StarrTincup served beer at The HR Tech Conference last year in Chicago, and their booth was packed the entire time the beer was flowing.  FYI – this works better in the afternoon!

– Star Power – Sorry to tell you this, but your CEO isn’t a star – so I don’t care if they are at your booth.  While I’m sure they are very important and have much power back at headquarters – they’re just another salesman on the floor at an Expo.  But I will be stopping by Dice.com’s booth on Monday June 27th at 3pm. Why? Because they are brining in some HR Star Power with Steve Boese, China Gorman and Laurie Ruettimann – 3 HR folks who I admire and that all get it – and they are serving wine (which I don’t care for – but some might – see “Margaritas” above). The moral of this story – star power and alcohol do mix.

– Caffeine – This works really well in the morning – bring in some great coffee drinks and you’ll attract a crowd to your booth – BUT not me!  Bring in Diet Mt. Dew – and not only will I show up at your booth – but I’ll talk about you all morning on Twitter and pimp your booth real hard!  Chocolate also works well here – woman and chocolate tend to play well at SHRM.

– Call Me – I’m not sure exactly what people spend on postcards, but I’m guessing $1-$2 per piece.  If you took 30 seconds to call me and ask me to stop by – there is a 86% chance I would.  So, go find a high school student who just got done with classes, give them a 30 second script and a call list of HR folks coming to SHRM – and start calling – you’ll save about thousands of dollars and get better results.

I had exactly 1 company reach out to me personally and ask me to visit them at their booth to see their new stuff – I can’t wait to visit with the folks from Halogen!  Oh, and if anyone talks to @EWMonster, Eric Winegardner – tell him I threw away my CareerBuilder poker chip postcard yesterday, but I’m still waiting on my invitation to a Monster party!