If you haven’t seen this yet, you will! American Airlines has a new promotional campaign called “World’s Greatest Flyers” where they basically tell the world to stop bitching and act like adults while flying! Okay, to their credit, they do a much more professional job of telling flyers to stop whining and bitching while flying! Check it out:

Yeah, all you need to do is love babies and buy a $299 pair of Boese noise cancelling headphones. And, know your crappy mode is the reason this flight is two hours delayed, not because we understaffed our pilots and now we have no one at your gate to fly this smelling, outdated death trap we’re about to throw you into!

I kid! But, can you imagine if some short-sighted company tried to do this with an employment branding campaign?! Here’s what I imagine it would sound like:

The World’s Greatest Employees – 

• Show up to work every single day, on time.
• Always talk nicely about their coworkers, even those who don’t shower enough.
• Never ask for a raise, because that’s rude and uncomfortable for their really smart supervisors.
• Tell all of their friends and family that they work for the best company ever.
• Wait to be told what to do next and never question what they’re told to do.
• Are willing to break into the competition and steal trade secrets!

The World’s Greatest Employees work here…and never leave…never.

It’s super creepy, right!?

I’m not sure how the hell that made it through the pipeline at American Airlines. Let me get this straight, we’re a company that our only service is to fly people around the country and they have a bunch of other companies they can choose to fly and you think it’s a great idea that we tell them how to be a better customer!?

Different. I’ll give them that.