Don’t Be This Guy

I listen to Jim Rome on sports talk radio and occasionally catch his ESPN show Jim Rome is Burning – he has classic bits he does about the people who makes us laugh in sports – Slow Pitch Softball Guy, Likes to Fight Guy, Gym Guy, Golf Guy, Pickup Basketball Guy, etc.  As soon as you mention the name you get the picture in your mind or know that one person at your office that immediately fits the description – they are over the top, and usually have no idea how much of an ass they make of themselves.

I ran into a guy today that we all run into from time to time, as we meander from conference room to conference room, on our endless day of meetings – he’s Likes to Argue His Point Guy!  Bam!  Someone came right to your mind didn’t it!?  So, what does Likes to Argue His Point Guy look like?  I’m glad you asked:

  • He’s the kind of guy who stands up in a meeting where no one else stands up – just so you know he’s serious.
  • He’s the guy who isn’t listening, he’s just waiting to respond to whatever your saying, as fast as possible.
  • He’s the guy who talks louder than everyone else in the meeting, just he’s sure you heard his side of things.
  • He’s the guy who talks with his hands and slams his fist down on the table – for effect!
  • He’s the guy you cringe at when he walks into the room and you were hoping he wouldn’t be in “this” meeting.
  • He’s the guy that no matter what metrics and logic you present – he’s not buying.  G*d made this world flat for a reason and you’re not telling him that’s it’s round!
  • He’s the guy who will fight to the death to win the battle, not understanding it just cost him the war.

Don’t be Likes to Argue his Point Guy – no one likes this guy, they barely tolerate him and no one wants to work him.

By the way – Likes to Argue his Point Guy – also comes in a female version!

Everyone Has An Organizational Expiration Date

We got home from vacation recently and like most families we were foraging through the cupboards and refrigerator to make dinner our first night back home.  I poured some milk for my son and he asked me “is that milk alright?”, like somehow I hadn’t considered its feelings, but he mostly meant was it still good.   Sure the expiration date had passed a day, or so, prior – but I did the Dad smell test, and that milk was more than alright!  He wasn’t in agreement, so our “alright” milk took a trip to never-gonna-get-drank-land down the sink.  Expiration dates on food are great – it helps us understand when something goes bad, protects us from ourselves and what we think is good and bad – which can be subjective.  It makes me think that we should have expiration dates on our employees!

During the recent holiday weekend I got to watch a ton of football – both college and NFL – and if coaches don’t have an expiration date on them, I’m starting a movement that we should add these to all coaches.  The Philadelphia Eagles head coach, Andy Reid, is an excellent example.  Here’s a guy who has taken his team to 5 NFC Championship games and 1 Superbowl – but still it seems like his expiration date is up in Philadelphia.  It’s not that he’s a bad coach, in fact he’s arguably the most successful coach the Eagles have ever had with a winning percentage over .600%, 2nd only to Bill Belichick during that same time.  So, why has his expiration date come up?  It’s all about expectations.  Once you gain success, it’s not good enough to maintain that success or, G*d forbid go backwards – you have to keep getting more successful.  The only way Reid get’s more successful is to win the Superbowl – which is tough to do.

There are a number of other reason people should have expiration dates with organizations, these include:

  • Chronic Average:  This is for the people who just never really do anything- they just exist in your organization.  After a while, they need to just go exist at another organization.
  • Convicted Idiot: This is the person who makes a certain bad decision, so bad, that their expiration with your organization must come up. Think, hitting on the bosses wife at the holiday party, or worse!  Probably can’t legally terminate them, but they need to go someplace else.
  • 1997 Top Salesman/woman:  This happens way to much – yeah, you were top sales person a decade ago, either get the trophy back or go give another organization your attitude!  We tend to keep them around because we are hoping they’ll regain their top form – but they don’t – let them expire.
  • My Boss Is Dummer than Me: An organization can take only so many of these, for only so long – Ok, you win – go be smarter than us someplace else.
  • No Admins Left To Sleep With: I’m hoping the title of this one explains it as well – otherwise you might have reached your HR expiration date at your organization!

 

Why HR Fails At Organizational Projects

I was watching the movie 300 recently for like the 300th time (what can I say I like Gladiator movies and yes I know what that says about my sexuality and I’m in HR so I’m trained to deal with that kind of feedback) and I was reminded about a very important organizational issue.  Watch the 1 min and 22 sec clip below to see where I’m going…

In HR we are Daxos and the Arcadian “soldiers” – we are more than willing to help by bringing what resources we have, but all to often, the resources we bring aren’t what the organization needs.  “So, Tim?” “What are we suppose to do about that – it’s all we have to give?!” , you say.

To often when we go to Marketing or IT or Finance for help with a major project – think new HRIS system, or the need for branding materials, etc. – we offer up ourselves and maybe a little of our budget to move the project forward.  Unfortunately, these departments, while needing resources, really don’t need your skills for recruitment or benefit administration – they need graphic designers or application developers – and you give them what Daxos was offering up to Leonidas – Potters, Sculptures and Blacksmiths – when all he needed was soldiers.

So, what can you do in this situation?

Try one of these next time you go asking for help within your oganization:

1.  Offer to take something off of their plate that you or your team is capable of.  Every department has certain things that really could be done by anyone with decent project management skills, or parts of your own department’s skill set, that you have pushed over onto the department to do themselves. Take some of those things back, freeing up capacity of that department to help you.

2. Go to bat for them publicly with the leadership team.  This can be done cross functionally by meeting with leaders from other departments, sending out communications speaking to specific needs of another department and how it can help the organization, and at budget times by addressing the needs of the other department.  HR has great influence around people issues, and when budget meetings happen, the word coming from HR in regards to headcount usually goes a long way with your peers.

3. Build the relationship.  Want to know why your HR department is always last on IT’s project list?  You don’t hang out with IT.  Come on! It can’t be that high schoolish!  Yes, it can – and you would be shocked at how certain decisions are made at a high level.  Go make friends, and do it fast.

Moving organizational projects forward, that are led or co-led by HR, doesn’t have a political nightmare and a huge stress, but you better bring something more to the table than your cute smile and PHR – the other departments don’t care – they’re over worked and under staffing  – just like we are in HR!  The last thing they want to hear is your fake attempt at offering up your staff as a resource to help on the project – when they don’t have the technical chops to get it done.  Save your breath and find another way.

 

Do You Remember What Unemployment Feels Like?

I was reading a short interview recently in ESPN the Magazine about Nascar up-and-comer Brad Keselowski, who is having a great year on the track.   The article was really around Brad’s advice/opinion on why he is having success and one point stood out to me over everything else. He said:

“I worry about job security every day. If you ain’t worried about losing your job, you can’t drive at the right level.  Even after winning at Pocono on August 7th, I remember thinking, at least this buys me a little more time. When the day comes that I’m not afraid of getting fired, I’ll lost my edge.”

Nothing like professional sports to bring out performance anxiety!  The fact is professional sports like Nascar, golf, tennis, etc., is the ultimate pay for performance model.  For the most part, professionals in those type of individual sports only get paid if they perform well, and only keep getting paid if they continue to perform.   It’s like the commission sales person – you either sell, or your kids don’t eat this month.  Most people hate living and working under this pressure – but some thrive and Brad gives you a little insight to how they do it.  Don’t ever get comfortable.  Don’t ever stop feeling what it feels like to not have a job. Because when you do, you might as well start looking for a new job at that very moment.

I love this!  This is an insight to one’s soul.  It sucks to be unemployed, especially is you’ve worked for a long time.  To get up in the morning and not have some place to go is very unsettling, to say the least.  But as HR Pros, how many times do we see people who have gotten to “comfortable” – who have forgotten what it feels like to be unemployed?   Maybe even you are at this point right now!   This is a gift that we can deliver to our employees.  To sit down and have the “looks-like-you’re-really-comfortable-right-now” conversation.  It’s not a threat, it’s a developmental conversation around – “what else” – what else could you be doing that you’re not, what else is out there for you to accomplish and how can I help you get there, what else do you need to do to ensure you keep this job?

To often we have these types of conversations with employees who are struggling, instead of with those who are coasting.  If we had more of these conversations with our coasters, we would probably have very few struggling conversations – and believe me the coaster conversation is much easier to have – because it’s being had with positive intent.

So, what can you do today?  Think about unemployment – in fact – think about it every freaking day.  About what it feels like, about what it will do to your life, about how you can stop it – because you can – don’t believe the hype that says you don’t have control – it doesn’t matter  – Mr. Corporation will just lay you off.  Those people who are pushing each day for better performance, who don’t settle, who don’t get comfortable – they aren’t getting laid off.  Unemployment sucks – remember that!

The Art of Building a Perfect Team

A newer sports/coaches book is out and it’s from the NFL coaching guru Bill Belichick called – War Room: The Legacy of Bill Belichick and Art of Building The Perfect Team.  I’m not a huge fan of the New England Patriots or Bill Belichick, but he definitely has created a winning organization over an extended period of time so I was really interested to see what his philosophy was to sustain such a high level or a long period of time.  While the book itself is fairly what you’d expect from a coaching type book – i.e., hire the right people, focus on details, etc., one thing caught me off guard and has extended application to HR and how we build teams in our organizations.

One philosophy Belichick has is that you measure all people, for the position they have by the same matrix.  Sounds basic and straightforward –  right?  But it isn’t – it’s not what we do in HR – we “tweak” it.  Here’s an example – let’s say you have 3 customer service reps, all in the same position, same job description, same pay grade.  Customer Service Rep #1 is a newbie, fresh out of school, no real world work experience. Customer Service Rep #2 is a solid performer with 5 years in position, a rock.  Customer Service Rep #3 is your senior level rep – in position for 15 years, definitely knows the history of where the department has been over the past 15 years, your her 4th supervisor.  You are in position for one year and you’ve been asked by leadership to give a performance assessment of your team of 3 – ranking them 1 to 5 – 5 being the best.  Each rank is independent of the other.

You have high standards and while all are good performers, none of them are great.  Rep #1 (newbie) you give a “3” – for being new in position they are coming up to speed nicely especially being only on for a short period of time.  Rep #2 also gets a “3” – the person is a rock, but to move to the next level they really need to start showing more imitative and informal leadership ability.  Rep #3 also gets a “3” for someone who has been on for so long – they should be far an away the top performer, but they are not – yes, they are better than the majority of Reps across the company in other departments, but you expect more from someone with such tenure.

Sounds familiar – doesn’t it?  Even though all 3 do the same position – we measure them differently based on our expectations of what we think they should bring to the table.  You’ve been told you have to cut two of the individuals from your team – who do you cut.  The majority of HR folks would cut #1 and #2- less seniority, less experience – it’s safe.  Who would Belichick cut?

This is the heart of his philosophy on building a great team – he cuts #1 and #3. Why?  #1 is easy – not enough performance and experience. #3 has been given the opportunity, shown what he can do and has based on performance has shown his “ceiling” for what you can expect.  #2 has similar performance to #3, costs less money, and hasn’t shown that she has reached her ceiling performance level.  If you do this consistently over time with linebackers, defensive backs, offensive lineman, etc. – what you get is great value-to-talent ratio.

So, do you think your organization really measures everyone by position, equally?  Could you build your organization around a Belichick model?  Would your organization be better or worse for it?  All good questions – I tend to think organizations fear really measuring performance because they fear they will always cut the more tenure workers – which isn’t true, but in HR we don’t like all that risk – so we shy away from truly building our teams based on performance.  How many people who went through layoffs over the past 3-4 years really kept their best talent? Not enough, I can tell you that.

 

 

Secrets of a D-List Blogger: 3 Minutes with Tim Sackett

I saw that Penelope Trunk running a training series called: Secrets of an A-List Blogger: A Week with Penelope Trunk, which I’m sure is a great training series, but the title struck me very funny!  So, let’s be clear so that Penelope and her gang of 20 somethings don’t come after me – I’m not making fun of Penelope, I’m making fun of the difference between the level of bloggers – A-List to D-List.

I have no idea what Penelope is teaching in her A-List series for Bloggers, but I can give you the D-List version and it won’t take you a week – let me spin you some knowledge in 3 minutes or less.

Secrets of a D-List Blogger:

1. You don’t have to be a good writer to be a good blogger – but you better have an opinion and a take on what’s going on in the world.  No one wants to read anything by someone sitting on the fence.

2. If sitting down to write a blog post feels like you’re back in high school and you have a writing assignment – blogging isn’t for you.  Writing should come naturally and easily – 99.9% of bloggers (especially those of us on the D-List) don’t get paid, so you better love writing and sharing your opinions.

3.  No one wants to hear about your cats – unless your Laurie Ruettimann – and well, she already captured that market.  What this means is, before you start to blog, decide why you want to blog and to who you want to blog to.  Laurie got the cat loving HR ladies – you’ll have to pick some other group!  I chose to go after the 17 HR people who don’t read Laurie – it’s a small audience, but they’re loyal!

4.  Creating content doesn’t have to be hard.  Fill up your Google Reader with great stuff, then pick out an article, drop a couple paragraphs from the article into your post, respond to it and give your perspective. Bam! The 15 minute post.

5.  If you want to create an audience and drive traffic – you better ask Penelope – I’m on the D-List – I still tell myself it’s about the love of writing and HR.  Please leave me a comment and tell me that’s what it’s about!  You can hang out in the community you’re writing in, via social media, and read, comment and interact to grow your audience, but to be honest it’s freaking exhausting – and let’s be real, you’re blogging, you don’t really care what other people have to say, just what you have to say – a least that what my therapists tells me!

6.  No one wants to read boring stuff and be educated (that’s what Wiki’s for), they want to be entertained for the 60 seconds they’ll spend at your blog – so Dance Monkey! This also means you’ll have to title your blogs in a provocative manner to get people to read your posts (i.e., 10 Ways to Nail a Stripper Interview – would be highly read over 10 Ways to Knock that Interview out of the Park – same content, different title, way different click thru’s).

7. Don’t listen to your critics, unless they’re a better writer than you.  Don’t worry, you’ll know if they are better.

So, there you go, just shy of the $195 Penelope is going to charge you – but hey – you only got the D-List version!

HR Pros – You Can’t Handle The Truth

I got a chance to spend some time this past weekend with a group of veterans and here’s what I came away with…

As HR/Talent Pros we are constantly looking for “silver bullets” when it comes to hiring.  We’ll pretty much try and do almost anything it we think it’s going to bring our organizations better talent.  This is why I’m perplexed at the one huge Talent miss most organizations are not fully invested into using – Veterans!  Think about the following benefits of hiring veterans:

  •  Team Work – if anyone has been drilled on team work – it’s our military men and women.  Many of us struggle in our organizations to get our people to play nice with each other – and here we have this huge pool of talent that is all about team work (No One Gets Left Behind isn’t a slogan, they have lived it!).
  •  Follow & Give Directions – HR Pros have classic stories about employees who can’t follow simple directions – and/or can’t give simple directions. I’d bet 90% of HR Pros nationally will at some point this year be having conversations with their senior leadership about “leadership” training – that simply consists of getting their managers to give straightforward, concise directions and feedback.
  •  Ability to work under pressure and meet deadlines – When someone’s life or safety is at risk, you learn how to work under extreme pressure, which probably pales in comparison to much of the pressure we put on ourselves and our employees in normal work situations.  Regardless, having individuals who can not only handle pressure, but thrive under pressure, are skills our organizations need.
  •  Planning and Organization – One thing our military veterans are known for is the training they receive in regards to planning and organization – and it’s the one thing we struggle with getting our employees to be good at.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve spoken to hiring managers where they’ll say “it’s critical this person be highly organized” – veteran’s military training turns them into organization machines.
  •  Flexibility and Adaptability – One thing is constant in all of our organizations – Change!  We spend so much of our resources on change management – primarily because we know our employees, for the most part, will freak out at the slightest change.  Not veterans – they have lived in a world where they were forced to adapt and change constantly, based on external environmental changes they had no control over – again – their training takes over – they move on and work to continue the mission of the organization.

So, why do we as HR/Talent Pros struggle to hire Veterans?  First off I have to say, from personal experience, not hiring veterans is not an issue of the veterans, but it’s an issue of HR Pros!  We (the HR collective) are very set in a single mindset that we can only hire people, and our hiring managers will only accept people, that meet every qualification listed on the job description – which is complete BS – but we allow this to continue.  Am I going to go out and hire a former Army tank mechanic to run my accounting department? No – they don’t have that background – but could I hire a great person and train them to be a machinists, or an inspector, or a hundred other positions in our organizations!   We are a “instant gratification” society – so we struggle with the concept of hiring great solid citizens, then training them to do what we need.  “But Tim! You don’t get it – we train them, then they take off on us!”  Yeah, I get it – stop using that as an excuse – people don’t leave great work environments – and by the way – veterans have a higher loyalty index than your average employee.

Also, there are some misnomers we truly need to dispel –

1.People go into the military because they were trouble makers or not smart enough to get into college.  Not true – I know plenty of stupid, trouble makers who went to college! And I can show you pictures!  The fact is, at 18 years old many of us didn’t know what we wanted, but they might have known going to school for another 4 years wasn’t something they wanted.  The military seemed like a better option – and for the majority – it definitely was.

2.  Veterans are rigid and only know top-down management style.  In the 1950’s this was true – but today’s veterans have gone through so much soft skills leadership training it would make the most skeptical OD person smile.

3. We don’t have the time or money to train veterans for our work environment – we need fully trained people now!  No you don’t – is that why you’ve had that position open for 6 months – because you need it “Now!”?   The fact is, this is an organizational choice and you as an HR Pro have the influence to change it.  There is so much money out there for organizations to train returning veterans it borders on ridiculous – but you’ll have to do some work with your local veteran’s employment offices to get it – but it’s there.

We live in a great country – no matter what the 99%ers are telling you.  We have great men and women who make a personal choice to keep this country great – in our military veterans.  As employers, as citizens, we owe these men and women a chance – a chance to make our organizations great, a chance to pay them back with opportunity for their service, a chance for them to show us they made the right decision to serve our country and become highly functioning, loyal, mature adults ready to work their butts off for your company.  All they want is a chance to show you they can be great.  They are asking for a handout – just an opportunity.  We hold that opportunity – are you willing to give it to them?

 

 

3 HR Conference Presentations worth $50,000

I was traveling back from the HR Southwest conference this past week and a conversation I had while there got me thinking of some of the better presentations I’ve seen over the past year.  The conversation wasn’t around “who was the best speaker”, it was around “who was the most expensive speaker”.  For those who don’t know 90% of the presentations you see at HR Conferences are done by HR Pros – like you and me – who aren’t being paid a dime – if they are lucky someone will pay their travel expenses.  The other 10% get speaking fees that range from $500 to $125,000 for 1 hour and 30 minutes of work.  Yes, you read that correctly – $125,000!  Now, let’s be straight – you probably haven’t seen anyone speaking at an HR conference who made $125K – but if you go to the largest HR conferences you saw someone who made $50K for that 90 minutes you saw them!

Here’s my question: If the HR Conference came out and told you how much the person was being paid, before they started their speech – would that change they way you thought of that speech?  Oh, boy that changes everything doesn’t it!?  Can you imagine –

“Please welcome to the stage, being paid $40K for the next 90 minutes, Mrs. X!” 

I wonder if there would be applause and a standing ovation that we see so often.  I wonder if you would leave feeling like that was the most inspirational thing I’ve ever heard – certainly worth $40K. Interesting to think about, at the very least.   The sad part is, the money has absolutely no correlation to quality and content.  I’ve seen some of the best speakers this year – some of which didn’t get paid a dime, and some that got paid very small amounts.  Sure there are a handful who get very good money, that I’ve really enjoyed – but I didn’t enjoy them $10-20K more then the free guys and gals!

Here’s where I think the high price presenters separate themselves – they’ve found the magic “formula’ for conference speaking – it involves presenting one of three types presentations:

1. Inspirational/Motivation – these are the presentations when someone comes to show you how hard they had it, way harder than you or I, and came all the way back and now they are on the stage making you feel like a piece of crap because you were just complaining about how the lady at Starbucks didn’t make your non-fat soy latte the way you like it.  Think Michael J. Fox at SHRM – a ton of 80’s comedy movies/TV shows – beautiful, successful wife – boom he get’s Parkinson’s – but he keeps fighting on – and you sit there going “nice, I bitch every morning about getting up and walking my two healthy legs downstairs to make my own coffee” – $40K please – thank you – I only have 25 more of these to do this year.

2. The Silver Bullet – these presentations are the ones where the presenter actually tells you about, or shows you, something that will change your life and/or your organization or department – right away.  Don’t confuse the Silver Bullet with the boring presentations that regurgitate stuff you already knew or could easily look up on your own – but the presenter truly believes they are giving you something you’ve heard for the first time.  The Silver Bullet gives you an epiphany – something concrete – tangible – that will transform how you do what you do.  This is probably the toughest type of presentation to find – but these are the ones you remember from each conference. Unfortunately Silver Bullet presenters don’t make as much – $500-$5,000 range.  State SHRM Conferences should really search these people out – but they don’t – they want a big name – which usually disappoints.

3. Dancing Monkey – Don’t get confused by the name to think these aren’t good – they can be the best!  The Dancing Monkey presentation is done by those presenters who flat out know how to entertain.  They are polished – they can make you laugh and cry  – all in 90 minutes – they always deliver – they get on stage and do anything it takes to entertain the masses – including Dancing like a monkey, if needed, and you’re happy!  You forget about your crappy job and crappy co-workers for a little while – and you leave feeling good.  These people usually are the middle level of cost – $2,500 to $25,000 – but you usually never feel taken.

What about all the one’s that don’t fit into these categories?  They suck – they’re either boring or ill informed or just flat out missed the mark (think Richard Branson at SHRM National or a presentation on I-9 Compliance).  Want to be a speaker at an HR conference? Figure out how to get your message into one of the 3 types above and become an excellent story teller – Cat stories optional.

 

Things…

Finishing up the HR Conference season for 2011 and I have a few things that have been bugging me…

I. Wireless Access – Let’s begin here (and I could probably end here as well!) – when do we jump the shark at HR conferences when wireless access is the “new” normal – SHRM National – the largest conference – no access in the sessions – HR Southwest – the second largest show – no access –  how are we suppose to live tweet/Facebook/and Shop (just for boring sessions) when there is no wireless access. I get most have smart phones – but really – if you’re in a a good session you need a full keyboard to keep up with all the gems being shared.  A few get it – HR Tech is one – which you would assume – it’s Tech! plus the Godfather of HR Bill Kutik get’s it.  Some state conferences get it – mostly those being organized and run by HR Bloggers.  But really the majority still don’t – Kris Dunn and I were at HR Southwest this week and they wanted the low, low price of $99.95 per day for wireless access – I kid you not!

II. Swag – Unlike my friend William Tincup who wants to abolish swag and just have “real ” conversations – like HR folks want those! – I think we need to up the swag game to monumental proportions.  Go big or go home with your Swag, HR vendors.  Let’s face it with the crappy economy old school wine and dine is back into fashion and I think too many vendors are missing the boat.  Want to have a “real” conversation William?  Offer something “real” to the HR Pro to sit down with you, besides your over hyped, over priced software that only does 13% of what you actually say it will do.  The one’s I love are when some idiot sends you like a portable DVD player, but without the battery, and says “if you meet with me for 30 minutes I’ll bring in the battery and it’s all yours to keep.”  Well that’s a start – but the portable DVD player you sent just really made me feel sorry for you, and that’s probably why I would meet with you!   In 2012 I’m looking for a vendor to offer up Cash! That’s right – my time is money baby!  Want to sit down and blow hot air up my butt – give me some money.  Heck for $50 bucks, for 30 minutes, I’ll even sit close to you on your little stupid coach at the show and hold hands!

III.  Conference Groupies – I don’t know about you guys – but I have a job – and my job isn’t going to conferences – but it seems like there is a core group of folks that somehow fell into these cool jobs of just going to conferences.  Not sure who pays them to do this – but this is kind of their thing.  I know most of these folks get free admission – but the travel is still super expensive.  I wouldn’t even comment on this but for the simple fact, I don’t see these folks really doing anything besides showing up to the parties to get free drinks – oh and the obligatory blog post on how “this” conference is the best ever, followed by a handful of tweets saying how great whoever it was that gave them the free pass to come to the conference and some drunk flickr photos.   BTW – if you are offended by the following paragraph – you are a conference groupie.