It’s not a Bromance, It’s a Promance!


“A bromance is a close non-sexual relationship between two (or more) men, a form of affectional or homosocial intimacy. “

Basically a Bromance is two dudes who really, really like each other, but not in a romantic type of way.   It’s like girls can be ‘besties’ but guys can’t.  So, if guys are ‘besties’ and acting a little to close, they’ll be told they’re having a ‘Bromance’.

Professionally this is called a ‘Promance’.


“A promance is close non-sexual relationship between two (or more) coworkers, a form of affectional or homosocial intimacy.”

Basically a Promance is coworkers who are best friends at work, but might not actually be that close outside the work place.  This sometimes has been called ‘Work Wife’ and/or ‘Work Husband’, but it can also between coworkers of the same sex.   The fact is we spend a great deal of time with our coworkers and become very close to many of them.  But we also have life outside of work, sometimes that includes coworkers, sometimes it does not.

Promances allow us to have close relationships with coworkers we actually like.  Promances are what keep coworkers staying at companies, sometimes, far longer than they would have if no promance was in place.  It also causes multiple coworkers to leave, or follow, each other to other companies.  “My promance just got a job at Ford, I’m going to follow her over there, we work great with each other!”

The cool thing about Promances is that they’re really only defined by work hours.  There is no expectation from a promance that you’ll actually communicate outside of work hours, and no one feels slighted by this!  It’s like the relationship you always wished you could have with everyone! “So, you mean like when we’re together we can be totally cool and hangout and just be great, but when we aren’t together neither one of us is going to feel an obligation towards communicating with the other!? Okay, I’m in!”

There is a fine line that you have to be careful with, as Promance can turn into a Bromance if you’re not careful.  It usually starts with happy hour or the company softball team, and quickly begins to spiral out of control.  It’s when boundaries of work hours no longer matter, and you begin to spend non-work hours with your Promance.  Many times this becomes too much.  All of sudden you’ll find yourself sitting on your coach on a Sunday night watching a game and saying things like “okay, I’ll see you in the morning at work” and realizing you’ve never stopped seeing that person, ever!

I love Promances.  I’ve got a wife and three sons, very full out of work life.  Promances are perfect for me.  I can have all of these relationships at work, and go home and not have those relationships interfere with my home relationships.  It’s truly the best of both worlds!

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