Ugly People Hate Recruiting’s Newest Silver Bullet

One really great thing about the traditional resume is that you can be a Troll and no one will know until you actually show up for the interview! Hey, getting to that point is half the battle.  Once you get into the interview room and you’re super uggs – you’ll get a courtesy 20 to 30 minutes at least.  This gives you some time to actually break down those initial rejections to your looks and prove yourself worthy of working with these beautiful people!  It’s really win-win.  Long live traditional resumes.

The reality is, ugly people are running scared right now!  While video interviewing and video profiles aren’t new – they’ve finally gotten to the point where ultra conservative corporate HR and Recruiting departments are beginning to use them.  The tech has gotten so simple, your baby boomer hiring managers can figure it out – at least if they can figure out how to open an email. Plus, the ROI on cost is ridiculously low, as compared to flying someone in for an interview.  It’s not if, but when, most companies will be doing video interviewing and screening as a major part of their recruiting process.

That sucks if you’re Ugly.  Now, you’ll never make it to that interview room for the courtesy interview – Video Interviewing Vendors have stolen your dream.  Blame them – and your parents for your genetics, heck blame it on the rain – doesn’t matter, you’re not making it through.  Unless!  Unless, you follow these easy tips for nailing your video interview/screening opportunity:

Don’t look like yourself.  Seriously – if you’re not the ‘pretty friend’ in your friend group, ask the pretty friend to help you get ready for the interview. It’s a video – not a runway – only worry about what you’re wearing from the shoulders up.  You have to have your best hair day ever.  Professional makeup – cover up anything you can see in good lighting.  Again, don’t do this yourself – ask someone much better looking than you for help – or pay to have it done.

Practice. Not into a mirror, not to your cat, not to your Mom.  Practice on video. Yes you can – you have a smart phone – just set it up on something and push record – then watch it back. Repeat 250 times.   You’ll instantly notice all the things wrong with you – that’s good.  Now limit those annoying things you’re doing, because that is what someone else is going to see instantly.  Practice is key, because most automated Video interviewing/screening systems only give a few minutes, and only one take.

Connect. Find a way to tell your story in around 90 seconds.  Also, have other stories about your experiences you can also share in 90-120 seconds. People won’t remember your skills – they’ll remember your story – your personality.  Practice these as well – so many times that they don’t seem like you practiced them, but come off as natural, as a good memory you are recalling.

Believe me, I feel for you.  Growing up a short redheaded kid on the wrong side of the tracks – I’ve been where you are now.  Don’t curse the game – it’s here to stay.  Adjust, learn how to play it better than those running it.  Be better than those pretty brainless idiots you’re competing against.  Capture the hearts of your tormentors.  Embrace your trollness!

2 thoughts on “Ugly People Hate Recruiting’s Newest Silver Bullet

  1. We’ve all been thinking this, but you had the courage to say it. Applicant just have to be more attractive than the ugliest candidate. The HR community thanks you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.