HR’s “You” Problem!

Did you know 67% of second marriages fail?

That seems high to me.  You would think conventional wisdom would teach us that those folks failing the first time what they did wrong, and what they need to differently the second time to make a marriage successful.  But it doesn’t work that way.  By the way, 73% of third marriages fail.  We get worse, not better!


It’s because of you.  You suck at marriage.  Stop getting married!  Now, no one really wants to believe this, which is probably the foundational

Now, no one really wants to believe this, which is probably the foundational problem to begin with, but the one common denominator in every failed second and third marriage is you.   You are the problem.  For whatever reason that might be, you’re just bad a picking a spouse that you are compatible with, and the more times you do it, the worse you’re going to get.  Buy a dog, there great companions.

HR has ‘You’ Problems.

We tend to want to think it’s everyone else.  It’s not us!  We get it.  It’s those damn idiots over in sales, they’re morons!  The stupid folks in operations never do anything right!

Yeah, it’s them, not us.

We have ‘you’ problems because we refuse to believe that maybe, just maybe, we are the ones who don’t get it.  Maybe it’s us, that needs to change.  Maybe, all this time, the reason we haven’t gotten that seat at the table, no respect, lacked influence, had nothing to do with everyone else, it had to do with us…

No way, can’t be.  We get it. Right?

5 thoughts on “HR’s “You” Problem!

  1. Nice, Tim. HR definitely has a “YOU” problem because we have handbooks to tell us that we are right. It’s a balance, I know. Just think of how much can be accomplished (and the time saved) if we stopped or avoided talking about how smart and clever WE are and how stupid, unrealistic, and out-of-touch THEY are.

  2. This is an interesting idea. I agree, but I have to add that I think every area needs to do its part to play nice in the sandbox. HR certainly has its issues; in my experience they have more to do with being stuck in process and compliance and forgetting that we represent *human* resources.

  3. You are spot on here. The only issue I have is the mention of the sacred “seat at the table.” That quest has done more to make a lot of Human Resources people arrogant and unknowledgeable assholes. Talking care of basics is the first priority. This means doing (or assuring it happens) the grunt work. It means developing the knowledge and making decisions based on that. Too many Human Resources folks are so focused on the “seat” that they fail to properly learn and execute their craft. I think it is telling that the turnover of top HR executives is high, probably because they get to their table seat unprepared to deal with the facts and the relationships.

  4. Love this post Tim. Yes, let’s take responsibility for our actions. It doesn’t mean there isn’t common ground to achieve, or that there aren’t other things wrong with the system in your company. But, I’ve succeeded in this situation by beginning here (paraphrased, of course):
    “Ms. Stakeholder, what are we trying to achieve? Can we talk about potential solutions? What hasn’t worked before? Can I tell you what I’d like to do?”
    And then moving here:
    “By the way, we need to work together… Here’s where I need your help…”

    Get buy in. Build real relationships. Actually achieve and add value.

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