If you read my post yesterday on the frustration HR pros and leaders have in deciding between getting their HRCI certification and/or their SHRM certification, you’ll see why I decided to write this!
I’ve officially decided to launch my own HR certification! This will put the rest the unanswered question of, “Which HR Certification Should I Get?” You’ll get mine fool!
Let me lay out my certification designation and marketing position for HR Newest (and Hottest) Professional Certification!
Introducing The HR Kingdom! Where you can now all become HR Queens and Kings! I mean don’t you already feel like the Queen of HR!? Now you can officially be the Queen of HR, with my certification. Here’s out you get yours:
The HR Kingdom designation certification:
Step 1 – Send me $350 dollars if your female and $500 if your male. If you’re Transgender, you can pick whichever one you self-identify with, or have both, I don’t care, just send the check. It’s less for females because they get paid less. Once we fix this, I’ll charge them the same as males.
Step 2– You will then have a live video Skype call with a member of my court. After this call is completed you’ll be given one of a number of designations as follows:
– Queen or King of HR – Senior level HR Pro/Leader who ‘gets it’. You know what the heck you’re doing in HR and you’re also not afraid to plan the company picnic and tell the CEO they’re full of shit. You’re a change leader, a silo breaker, and process be damned you get the job done!
– Princess or Prince of HR – HR Pro/Leader who is will eventually get it, but you’re too green to get most of it, but you’re on your way. Most likely you’re a millennial who thinks they get it, but you’ve only been in HR for five minutes and have no freaking idea what you’re talking about.
– Fool of HR – A member of my court has figured out you’re basically working in HR, but you have no freaking clue what the hell you’re doing. You’re basically a fool trying fool everyone you actually know what you’re doing, but we know better.
Step 3 – I’ll send you your official “Crown” to worn anytime you’re working in an official capacity of HR. You’ll also get to officially use the ‘crown’ emoji behind your name on your resume, LinkedIn profile, on your license plate, tattoos, etc. If you’re a “Princess” you’ll get a tiara, if you’re a “Fool” you’ll get one of those funny hats.
Step 4 – You must now officially recognize those other members in the Kingdom by their official designations. So, if you run into another Queen of HR, the official greeting would be, “Hello, your Majesty”, if it’s a fool, “move aside fool!”
I don’t know much, but I know a hell of a lot of HR ladies who will want to be Queens and Princesses of HR! Now that’s marketing your certification to your audience! Give them what they want. Give them something special. Give them royalty!
If you want to be a part of the HR Kingdom, it’s really simple, just send me some cash fools!