Category Archives: Stud Muffin

3 Ways Your ‘Cool’ Boss Is Killing Your Career

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My wife and I have saying in our house:

“We never want to be the ‘cool’ parent.”

You know why?  ‘Cool’ parents are the ones you let their kids do things they shouldn’t be doing as kids.   It’s not my job as a parent to get my kids to like me – it’s my job to raise responsible adults who do better for their family and the world in general.  That means we say ‘No’ a lot.  No, you can’t got the movies at midnight. Yes, I’m aware the Brown’s allow this – they also allow their 17 year old son’s girlfriend to sleep over, and the teenagers to drink.  I would rather you shoot me in the head.

You know what’s funny?  I don’t think my kids hate me. (Kids – please don’t comment on this post!)  Kids like having boundaries.  They don’t tell you they like this, but when they have boundaries they act like better people. If you leave them without boundaries you end up with Lord of the Flies.

I’m not saying that being a leader/Boss/Supervisor is like being a parent. Okay, yes I am, it’s very much like being a parent!  Everyone wants to be the ‘cool’ boss when they first start out in a managerial role.  It’s very normal to think this, and go down this path.  What you find out quickly is that employees, much like children, don’t perform as well without consistency.  Things at work are going great, you’re the ‘cool’ boss, all of sudden times get hard, you lose a big client, and you have to make tough decisions, and your employees lose their minds.  This happens because you begin acting in a way you never have.  You begin hearing things like: “You use to be so cool.”; “You seem stressed all the time.”  These are signs that your subordinates think your friends.  Let me tell you a little secret — Friends don’t fire friends.  You are not friends with your subordinates.  You might be friendly, but that doesn’t make you friends.

‘Cool’ bosses who believe they are friends with you, also rarely tell you the truth about your performance.  Why? Because they don’t want to hurt a ‘friends’ feelings.  They hint at it, they run all around the bush, but they’ll never really tell you what you’re doing that is holding you back in your career path.  Here’s an example: “So Tim, tell me what does it look like for a promotion?” (I’ll be Tim the Cool Boss!) “Well, Mary, you know I back you 100%!  If anyone deserves it, it’s you, but it’s not my call.  I’m sure you’ll get it.” No, she won’t.

A ‘Cool’ boss can ruin your career faster than almost any single thing you run into in the corporate world.  While you might think the cool boss is great, the reality is your executive team knows.  They know this person lacks what it takes to move the organization forward, so they are probably stuck in middle-management for life.  A ‘cool’ boss lacks the credibility needed to influence decision makers.  This makes it very hard for your ideas to be seen and heard at an organizational level.

So, what are the 3 Ways you ‘Cool’ boss is killing your career:

1. They aren’t helping you get the most out of your talent

2. They won’t be honest with you and what you need to change

3. They don’t have the influence to move your career forward

How does it sound being the cool boss now?

How Many Hugs Is Too Many?

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My post on The Rules About Hugging At Work is one of my most read posts ever.  Check it out.

As you know – I’m a hugger.  If we meet and you believe we are friends because we connected on Twitter 2 years ago — well — you’re getting a hug! That’s how I play.

I wanted to give you an update to my Rules About Hugging At Work.  Some of you know I have 3 sons, 16, 15 and 10.  Apparently, your kids listen to you when you talk around the house.  My ten year old started 4th grade this past week and his teachers felt like they needed to add some Sackett Hugging Rules to the 4th grade — they’re not as much rules as they are limitations.  I know what you’re thinking — No — we don’t go to a Communist private school.  I send my kids to public schools, I mean it did wonders for my grammar, so they should be just fine.

Yep, my boy Coop (seriously how could you resist him in the pic above!?) likes to hug like his old man.  What did ‘Dad’ do about it when he heard the ‘fuzz’ came down on my little man?  Not a freaking thing!  I told him to hug away – just follow the rules:

– No bathroom hugs

– No hugs from behind

– Only linger if you feel the other party is hugging back.

What kind of a world do we live in where a 10 year old boy is told he’s hugging too much?  He the sweetest, most kind, kid I know.  I’m glad to know this is how we turn our young boys into men — hugging limitations.  Well played America.

Enjoy Ari Gold – he gets it – no one ever stopped him from hugging! (NSFW)

3 Keys To Get ALong Better With Your Boss

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There was a recent study conducted on how to make your marriage better.  I’m not saying you’re married to your boss, but in many cases you’re spending more awake hours with your boss, and co-workers, than you do with your spouse!  The number one key is of course Communication!  It’s always communication.  Have a crappy relationship with anyone and everyone will tell you — ‘oh, you just need to communicate more!’  Well, you know what?  More, or more effective, communication, might not be the key!  I know guys are happy to hear this!

From Time.com:

“Not surprisingly, those who reported communicating more effectively showed the highest satisfaction with their relationships. But the next two factors — which were also the only other ones with strong links to couple happiness — were knowledge of partner (which included everything from knowing their pizza-topping preferences to their hopes and dreams) and life skills (being able to hold a job, manage money, etc.).

Couples counselors, however, rarely address these two areas, as the focus on strengthening relationships has been on improving communication to reduce destructive behavior and to build support and comfort for each other. “For the last 25 years,” says Tom Bradbury, a veteran couples researcher at the University of California, Los Angeles, “the prevailing attitude has been that relationships need to meet our emotional needs.” To be successful, however, he’s also found that relationships need to function in more practical, and perhaps mundane ways as well.”

Ok, so you still have to communicate, but that isn’t the only thing you have to do!
Here are 3 Keys To Getting Along Better With Your Boss:
1. Be a Better Performer!  If you and your boss don’t along it’s probably because she is constantly riding your butt over your low/poor performance.  Get better and things will improve!
2. Find out what’s important to them.  In any relationship a major key to making that relationship positive is it’s a two-way street.  We all expect our bosses to know everything about us, but we rarely work to find out stuff about them.  Your boss isn’t some untouchable God like figure or celebrity. They’re just a normal person with the same normal issues you have.  Those people who make that connection have stronger relationships with their bosses.
3. Reduce Stress In Your Work Environment.  This isn’t you, but some people actually create more stress in their work place for the simple fact that they feel more important if they’re involved in a stressful situation.  Your boss knows who you are.  She doesn’t like you because of it.  If you’re constantly in the middle of crap in your work, you’re part of the problem.  Some of your coworkers are never in the middle of it — your boss likes them better!
Let’s face it, sometimes you’ll have an idiot for a boss and there will be nothing you can do to make that relationship rewarding.  But far more people claim this is the case, than is reality. For most of us, if we want a positive relationship with our boss it can be had with a little work.

I’m Going to the 2013 HR Tech Conference!

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If you read this blog you know that I’ve attended the SHRM National Conference for years.  There is also one other conference – The HR Technology Conference – that I haven’t missed for the last 4 years, and now that my friend, Steve ‘The Call Him Mr. HR Tech’ Boese, is running the show – I doubt highly I’ll miss again!   I love attending The HR Tech conference for a number of reasons that are different from why I like attending SHRM – but I think both should be on the list of every serious HR Pro.  If you can only attend one – might I recommend every other year between the two.

Here’s why I attend The HR Tech Conference:

 1. HR Technology Smarts! (Duh! Right.  But listen, great HR Tech knowledge is the one way Trench HR Pros can separate themselves from the pack!  Want to move far in your HR Career – this is a must have competency for the now and for the future.  HR Tech does something better than most in that most of the speakers I’ve seen are like you and me – they actually work in HR.)

2. The Crowd!  (The HR Tech Conference pulls in a completely different crowd than SHRM.  I love the SHRM crowd – I feel one with the Trench HR Pros who go.  HR Tech is filled with HR decision makers!  You know the ones who can say yes to buying hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not millions, of cool HR tools.  Plus, some really smart HR pros who think about HR differently.)

3. The HR Vendors. (Any company in the HR space trying to make a name for themselves is there.  I first met HireVue at HR Tech 3 years ago in some back little booth with nobody around – and thought – ‘Holy shit! This is the future of interviewing’ – they a bit bigger now!  At HR Tech you actually get to see the future of HR before anyone else.  It’s like going to the annual Car Shows and seeing the concept vehicles!  How we work in HR will be different 5 years from now – want to know how – attend and find out!)

The 2013 HR Technology Conference will also be the last for the ‘Godfather of HR Tech’, Bill Kutik (that’s Bill in the picture above!), as he passes on the torch to aforementioned, Steve Boese.  That is one final reason I’m attending.  Bill has had a huge impact on HR Technology in his tenure and that should be celebrated.

Here’s one reason you should attend – the gang at HR Tech (because I blog a bunch and they think I’m influential – jikes on them!) has given me a special discount code ‘SACKETT’ – which saves you $500 of the price of the conference.  Sign up HERE!

Besides the $500 – I’ll let you buy me a drink or take me to a cool Las Vegas show!  Your choice!

 

Are You A Big Deal?

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I have a pin in my office I picked up a couple of years ago at the SHRM National Conference from the Baudville booth (no this isn’t a paid post! But I love their company!), it says:

“I’m Kind Of A Big Deal”

I thought it was funny – it’s been stuck to the board behind my desk for over 2 years now.   I like it because it reminds me daily – I’m not a big deal – far from it.  In fact it makes me laugh when someone thinks I’m a big deal because I’m the President of a company, or because I write a blog (you know anyone can do this, right!?) or that at one point in my kid’s life they believed that I use to be Batman, but stopped to be a Dad.   I’m not a big deal.

Here’s the thing about being a Big Deal.  If you truly are a ‘Big Deal’ you don’t act like a ‘Big Deal’ – if you’re a wannabe ‘Big Deal’ then you certainly try and come across like a ‘Big Deal’.  Do you follow me?  Apparently getting an executive HR job in corporate America makes you a wannabe ‘Big Deal’ – or that might just be how certain HR executives like to treat almost anyone they come into contact with.  You might think I would have to worry about writing something like this – but I don’t – wannabe ‘Big Deals’ don’t read HR blogs.  Wannabe Big Deals read their own press clippings – which are usually those articles in the monthly employee newsletter, or local shoppers guide – because they’re a big deal.

I’ve never really understood the ‘Big Deal’ phenomenon.  When I was on the corporate side of the desk I would get bugged by numerous calls from vendors and hiring managers and community groups – all wanting a piece of your time.  I get it, it gets frustrating. Being a Big Deal has those draw backs – people wanting your time.  Being a Big Deal, though, doesn’t give you a license to be an asshole.  Asshole Big Deal is not the kind of Big Deal you want to be.  Treating people like they are a small deal, does not make a Big Deal any bigger, it makes the Big Deal smaller.

I have people reach out to me frequently because of all the writing I do – I respond to each one as if I was responding to a coworker or friend.  If I can’t help, then I will try and find someone who can.  If I can help, I will.  If they want me to sell their product – I will tell them how that works – I’m a really good salesperson if you pay me – I tend to be a really bad sales person if you’re asking me to do your job for free.  At no point do I become a Big Deal – because I’m not.

But I have a blog which allows me to write about ‘Big Deals’ – I guess that’s something.  I might have to reach out and ask Baudville if they’ll send me some of those pins so that when I run into ‘Big Deals’ I can make sure to send them one – just so everyone is clear on what who they are…

 

Save Tincup!

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It’s been one day, well one business day where I actually pay attention to social media, and I can’t take it any more.  I’m going to start a Protest, or a march, or one of those things you do when you really don’t have any say or power but it feels like someone should do or say something.  I can’t take a social media world without William Tincup. For those who don’t know – William has decided to turn off all social media and take a summer vacation – no Blogging, no Twitters, no Facebook, no lunch-time internet radio show (Drive Thru HR), no Instagram (which might hurt him the worst), etc.

Like most of what William does, I envy him.

William will still take email, phone calls and texts – so basically he’s now Amish!

Here’s my plan:

1. Starting today – Text “Save Tincup” to 469-371-7050 (That’s William’s cell phone number) – if I know anything – he is a very curious fellow – he’ll want to know what all this means.

2. Email or Text William this Photo:

Save Tincup

 

3. Call and leave him this voicemail: “I want my Tincup!”

Let’s face it – a social world without William is a world I’d rather not be a part of.