Monthly Archives: June 2013

2013 – Smoking In the Office

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I’ve decided I’m going to start allowing my employees to smoke in the office.  Maybe it’s watching too many episodes of Madmen, or maybe it’s just some psychological phenomenon about growing up with parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. who all smoked that I weirdly like  hanging out with smokers – but I don’t smoke.  Don’t get me wrong – I’m not allowing traditional lighting up – this is 2013 – we’re going Electronic!  E-Cigarettes are all the rage and I can’t think of a better way to cure my mental cravings about hanging out at smoke breaks than to just allow my staff to start lighting up – alright I don’t know if you call it lighting up maybe it’s powering up those E-Cigs and getting their E-Smoke on!

E-Cigarettes are coming big business because of the assumption they’re safer. From BusinessWeek:

“The electronic cigarette is about to have its turn in the spotlight. The battery-powered gadgets transform nicotine and other substances into an inhaled vapor and have been marketed as a safer alternative to tobacco smoke, which is drawn into the lungs and increases cancer risks. The rapidly growing e-cigarette business—expected to top $1 billion in annual sales in the next few years—is racing to command a bigger share of spending among smokers and potential smokers ahead of possible regulations from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.”

This brings in all that was good about 1970’s business and modernizes it! (did you catch that the only thing I think about a ‘good’ 1970’s business was their ability to smoke in the office!) I can’t wait until my next big conference room meeting with 20+ employees all smoking away on their E-Cigs, talking sales, talking red meat they’ll grill that night – if that isn’t quintessential Americana I don’t know what is!  Sure its a little more metro-sexual America, but it’s 2013, let’s face it – so few of us can pull off the Marlboro Man look anymore!

I know most of you think I’m joking but wait and see HR Pros.  E-Cigarettes are not considered ‘cigarettes’ by the FDA.  If you have an employee come in and want to suck on a battery powered device at their desk that emits water vapor – are you going to tell them ‘No’!  Especially when that same employee could chose to take an hour+ per day off to stand outside and fire up for real?!  Doesn’t productivity and health demand you allow your employees to E-Light-Up at their desk or workstation?

What do you think HR Pros?  Will you join me in allowing your employees to E-Light Up in the office?  Do any of you allow this now?  Has any employee approached you and asked to do this?  Will you shoot the first employee who is standing outside taking a 10 minute smoke break who is puffing on a E-Cigarette?

93% Employment!

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I don’t know about you, but I think having a 93% employment rate is pretty damn good!

Take this little test:

1. Pick any profession or trade – even unskilled positions.

2. Bring in 100 currently employed people within your specific position you chose.

3. Interview all 100.

4. Now – tell me out of the 100 you interviewed – would you offer a position to 93 of them!?

No way, ever, in any position!

Let’s break down the 100 interviews:

– 3 – you’ll have 3 candidates that won’t even show up – car trouble, emergency, alarm clock didn’t go off, etc. (these are automatic ‘No’s’)

– 4 – you’ll have 4 candidates that will show and you will wish they hadn’t for a number of reason – most dealing with hygiene and/or obnoxious laughing or talking.

– 2 – you’ll have 2 candidates that will be completely arrogant and won’t fit your culture – no offer.

– 5 – you’ll have 5 candidates that you’ll like, but they won’t like you.

The reality is your pool is about 85 of 100 on your very best, most lucky day.  You’re not really selecting from 100 ever.  So now you have 85 candidates of which you’ll find some too light or too heavy on experience,  you’ll hate the school they graduated from, you’ll get bad references on a half dozen, etc.

93%!

I’m telling you right now – at 93%, America is fully employed!  I’m always amazed to hear people in business talk about high unemployment.  I don’t think they really understand what that number represents.  When you talk to HR people, 100%, they’ll be able to give you a list of people who are working for them, that they wish weren’t working for them, but they can’t find anyone better!

93%!

 

 

Brains Before Bros

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True or False: My existing talent pool is always my first line of defense in filling key roles that become available in my organization.

If the first statement is true, shouldn’t the second one be too? In a perfect world, yes. But we know that isn’t always the case, and unfortunately employee development is often overlooked when organizations are forming their talent strategies.

Join hiring smart (people) experts Kris Dunn and Kelly Dingee for Brains Before Bros: Why Hiring Smart People over Experienced People is a Winning Talent Strategy, sponsored by our friends at SumTotal, on Tuesday June 12 at 1pm EST and they’ll hit you with the following:

1.    A rundown of the factors driving talent scarcity in today’s workforce and why it’s better to hire smart people and train for success.

2.    FOT’s definition of “smart” and common false positives you need to consider when defining what smart looks like for your organization.

3.    Three signs that your top talent may be looking to jump ship and how to reel them back in by providing the incentives they really want. (Hint: It’s not always monetary).

4.    Five ways to keep training and development programs aligned with evolving expectations from top applicants and your existing talent – without breaking your budget.

5.    We’ll close this webinar by bringing in Steve Parker from SumTotal to help you ensure your leadership team is creating the right environment to get the most out of your existing talent.

 Your traditional approach to talent isn’t working—start putting brains before bros and maximize your talent strategy today.

REGISTER HERE

Knowing What You Want To Do

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Like most of my posts, this post just came to me as a thought and will probably take me about 5 minutes to write (alright grammar Nazi’s I hear you – maybe I should spend more than 5 minutes writing…). I was driving home the other day and had this thought about my kids – I tend to do my best thinking when I’m alone in the car signing.  I was thinking for how much I want my kids to be successful, it might be more important for me to wish them this one seemingly simple thing:

“The ability to know what you want to do in life.”

Simple, right?  Simple, but it seems like so many people I meet in life don’t know this and really struggle most of their life because of this one little concept.  Yeah, we know all the statistics – you’ll change jobs 132 times during your career, blah, blah, blah.  This is something you can’t give to someone -it’s truly their journey.  People go to college and can’t make this decision. They decide not to go to college and can’t make this decision.  They go and do and try and try again – and still don’t know what it is that they want to do in life.

I don’t take this concept lightly, and I don’t think most others do as well.  That is probably why it becomes just an overwhelming process.  “What is it that I want to do for the ‘rest’ of my life?”  There in lies the problem with this concept – ‘rest’ – to try and make someone chose what they want to do for the ‘rest’ of their life is almost impossible.  I think it’s great when I meet someone and they have this desire and passion of knowing what it is they want to do with their life.  It’s such a great energy to be around.  I’ve seen it in teachers, clergy, doctors, etc. – it feels like a calling to them.

But I can’t get over the majority – the majority of folks who don’t have this ‘calling’ and yet still feel like they are waiting for something to do for the ‘rest’ of their life.

Here’s what I will tell my sons when they feel this pressure put upon them by society, by me, by whomever feels it’s their right to place burden:

“Do it all.”

“Try everything. Then try it again if you want.” 

“Never feel like you have to do any one thing for the ‘rest’ of your life.”

G*d, I hope I have the foresight and courage to say this to them!  Knowing what you want to do in life, really at any given time, might be the greatest single gift you could have.

 

Having Sex On The Job

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If you’ve been in HR for about a day you’ve had to deal with Worker’s Compensation claims and the longer you’re in HR the better the claims get.  This recent worker’s compensation claim from an Australian employee, though, might actually win (assuming this whole HR thing is a contest of who has the best story). From the Sidney Morning Herald:

“The female Commonwealth public servant at the centre of the case, whose name has been suppressed, was required to travel to regional NSW in 2007 and stayed at a motel booked by her employer.

She arranged to meet a male friend and, after going out for dinner, the pair went to her motel room and had sex.

In a statement in previous court hearings, the woman’s sexual partner said they were ”going hard” when a light fitting was pulled from the wall and fell on her. She suffered wounds to her nose and mouth, as well as psychological injuries, and has faced a lengthy legal battle to receive a payout.

Her claim was initially accepted by Comcare, but was revoked in 2010 and reviewed by the Administrative Appeals Tribunal, which found sexual activity was ”not an ordinary incident of an overnight stay like showering, sleeping, eating”.

The woman appealed against that decision in the Federal Court and won in April last year, a judge finding the injuries were suffered in the course of her employment.”

So, here’s the game – most HR pros already know this, but for the new HR Pros – In the comments share you craziest worker’s compensation claim.  While you think the one example above can’t be beat – well, you’ve never played this game before!

Here’s mine:

“…”

You know what – I don’t have one even close to the example above.  You win Australia.

1 Reason Interns Suck

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I get pimped constantly to write about companies and their products and I rarely do.  It’s not that I don’t like the companies, products or people – but it’s boring!  Recently, Katie Farrell, was pimping me to write about her client InternMatch and more specifically a report they did called “State of the Internship 2013” where they actually had some fun data to report and one interesting piece I couldn’t turn up!  In full disclosure – Katie and InternMatch paid me absolutely nothing to do this – which is probably why I don’t pimp more stuff for Katie (come on Katie! Some cookies, a diet Dew, anything – really!).

Here’s the 1 Reason Why Interns Suck:

“If a company has pets in the office, it would dramatically increase an intern candidate’s likelihood of applying (24.3%)”

 

I don’t care what you say – that is fascinating data!  Not only does that one data point tell you how worthless it is to hire interns – it gives you actual first hand data about what is really going on in the mind of a college freshman and sophomore that you’re paying bottom-line dollars to!   1/4 of potential interns are swayed in their internship decision by the simple fact if they can bring Ms. Cookie Kitty with them to their big-girl summer job.  Fascinating – with a capital F!

I always viewed internships as a public service for employers.  It’s very similar to buying lemonade from the 8 year old kid running a lemonade stand on a cardboard box on the street corner. You don’t really need a lemonade – but it’s cute and makes them feel like their a real person.  The reality is, the 8 year old, like the college intern doesn’t really want to work for your lame department and learn real skills – they want ice cream truck money – scratch that – they want beer money!

If I was running a Fortune 500 HR shop here is what my internship program would look like:

1. Hire Interns

2. Make them do the worst jobs in our company – no matter what their degree program.

3. Try and get them to quit the internship program.

4. Make it the absolute worst summer of their life.  Boot camp for Frat Boys and Girls.

5. Those few that make it – get automatic offers to come to work real jobs the next year.

Oh, I hear you saying “Tim you have no idea, we need our interns to love our company so we have recruits when they graduate!”  No you don’t.  You need to find people who will work.  I mean really work.  Hire those people.  Don’t hire someone who determines their work future by whether they can bring their cat or dog with them to their summer job!  Oh yeah, they had some other real statistics as well – but that was the only interesting one.

 

Save Tincup!

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It’s been one day, well one business day where I actually pay attention to social media, and I can’t take it any more.  I’m going to start a Protest, or a march, or one of those things you do when you really don’t have any say or power but it feels like someone should do or say something.  I can’t take a social media world without William Tincup. For those who don’t know – William has decided to turn off all social media and take a summer vacation – no Blogging, no Twitters, no Facebook, no lunch-time internet radio show (Drive Thru HR), no Instagram (which might hurt him the worst), etc.

Like most of what William does, I envy him.

William will still take email, phone calls and texts – so basically he’s now Amish!

Here’s my plan:

1. Starting today – Text “Save Tincup” to 469-371-7050 (That’s William’s cell phone number) – if I know anything – he is a very curious fellow – he’ll want to know what all this means.

2. Email or Text William this Photo:

Save Tincup

 

3. Call and leave him this voicemail: “I want my Tincup!”

Let’s face it – a social world without William is a world I’d rather not be a part of.

 

 

 

 

SHRM – Think Small, Act Small

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For anyone who reads my blog you know I have healthy love-hate relationship with SHRM.  I need to explain this relationship because so often people tell me to just forget about SHRM and move on with my life – sort of like you would with an ex-girlfriend.  The problem is I don’t love SHRM like an ex-girlfriend; I love SHRM like someone loves golf or basketball.  It’s the kind of love that when you hit a great shot in golf you love the game, then the next shot you hit into the water, and you hate the game, but you keep coming back each week to play again.

I don’t want to give up on SHRM, I want SHRM to be what I need it to be as someone who loves the profession of HR.  So, here’s what I need from SHRM.  I need SHRM to act small.  I need SHRM to act like a niche organization.  I need SHRM to stop trying to be all things to all HR Pros. 

You know what happens when you’re big and you act big?  You become vanilla.  You become Chevy.  You become something a bunch of people will buy, but no one truly loves.  People put up with you, they don’t reach out for you.  You’ve become the necessary evil within the profession.

The million dollar question is, than, what does that look like or how does SHRM do that – smaller?

Trying to be all things to all people kills almost every single company and organization, eventually.  It might take 10 years, it might take 100 years, but eventually someone else will come along and be the company or organization a person is looking for.  It will feel special.  It will feel exclusive (like me having an SPHR).  SHRM tries to be a one-stop shop for all things HR, and as such the majority of the development and material teaches to the lowest common denominator.  

Go above ‘best practice’ – reach for ‘ground breaking’.  Have a goal to ‘Wow’ the membership with such insight it blows them away.   In the end, other professional organizations should be reaching out to you on how they can do the same for their professionals.  Go beyond HR 101 and show HR Pros the importance of leading and running the business.  I want my SHRM to lead the transformation of HR, not be part of old HR that is joked about across industries.

Also, I want my SHRM to have a little bit of a sense of humor!  SHRM, have you attended a conference outside of HR?  Holy mother of Francis you guys take yourself seriously!  Lighten up – we’re the people, people.  It’s alright to make fun of our profession, that’s an easy way to have some open and honest discussion on how to change.   One last thing – stop allowing boring people to speak at conferences!  Here’s how you select a great lineup – you must educate and entertain (not or, it’s ‘and’), you must give the audience something they can use tomorrow in their HR shop and it wouldn’t hurt if these great speakers had red hair and lived in DeWitt, MI.