Category Archives: Things

I’m not an “Us” or a “Them”

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Politics are ruining my friendships. Look, I don’t really want to know what you care about, because most of us care about crazy shit that others don’t understand, or can’t understand. You getting me to understand your crazy, probably isn’t a good thing!

I have true friends who are pro-life. I love these friends. I don’t understand how they can’t understand my pro-choice stance, but they don’t. They can’t understand how I can be a baby killer. I’m not, but we all have our positions. We’ve been able to have a great friendship in spite of this one difference.

Maybe there should be a difference of belief scoreboard. Only having one difference of belief is fine, we can still be close friends, even two or three. Once you get to four, you begin to be a person I don’t want to hang with. Once you get to six, maybe you turn into a horrible person I would rather see dead. I’m not quite sure at the math, but I’m sure we could come up with a system.

I want to be friends with all kinds of people, but recently it seems like all kinds of people don’t want to be friends with me because I don’t believe in their crazy, to the exact specifications they want me to believe.  I see their points. I respect their points. But, I’m not flying their flag. So, apparently, that makes me part of the evil empire.

I like puppies. I fly that flag, for sure! I love babies. All babies. White, brown, yellow, any color baby is alright with me. I’m definitely pro puppy and pro baby. I like gin and tonics. Marry whomever you please, I support that. Single moms, I was raised by one, that’s the toughest gig on the planet. I’m not a church-goer, but I’m not an Athiest. I like the Spartans, probably too much. I like money. I hate giving money to people who don’t deserve it or appreciate it. I’m definitely, pro-money. I like helping people. I try and do that as much as I can.

I’m not a ‘them’. I’m also not an ‘us’. I’m more of a ‘we’.

Both the Democrats and Republicans are extremely happy we are all going ‘us’ and ‘them’. By doing this we keep both parties in power. The last thing they want is that we become a ‘we’. The establishment has ‘us’ exactly where they like to have us. Against each other. That gives them the most power. If we find a middle ‘we’, you’ll really see some shit happen!

The reality is, our current government is fine with the other party winning. All that does is give their own party more power for the next four years. Until they come back into power. Then the cycle repeats. Don’t you think if one side had it ‘right’, I mean really ‘right’, they would keep winning each year? But neither do. So, we yo-yo back and forth. Feeling passion one cycle, beat down the next, on top again the next.

Morals matter, well about once every four years, then we go back to forgetting morals matter. Walking by homeless like they’re not there. Laughing a comics tell crude jokes but she’s a woman so it’s okay to say those things. Letting our government drop tens of thousands of drone-bombs on people different from us, killing anyone in our way of a $1.99 gallon of gas.

I know this sounds naive, but I just want my friends back. I want to be able to have a conversation that isn’t filled with hatred and absolutes. I didn’t vote for him because he’s a bad person. I didn’t vote for her because she was an awful liar. I voted for someone I thought was different than the establishment because I truly want a change that benefits us all.

I’m stuck in the middle right now wanting to be a “we”, but surrounded by “us’s” and “them’s”.

 

 

Officially Announcing My Candidacy for the 2020 Presidential Election #ACatInEveryPot

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Apparently, we will now campaign for four years to become the President of the United States for four years. Makes sense. I like the Canadian system of campaigning way better than what we have here! 90 days or less and we’re done! Doesn’t that sound like a smart law?

Until then, I’ll have to live with what we have. So, since I’m a U.S. born citizen, over the age of 35, and I would prefer to run under a third party as neither the Republicans or Democrats come close to meeting my needs, I’m officially running under the HR Party!

If I know anything, I know HR loves a good party!

Here is my platform, as of right now, but there’s a good chance I will change often depending at which conference I’m at and what part of the country I’m in at the time:

  • The only way you can now vote for any office is to first fill out a change of address form, completely (even if you haven’t recently changed your address), in black or navy blue ink, and you also must have completed your annual open enrollment.
  • Wine and Chocolate will no longer be taxed, and companies selling these products in the United States must sell them at cost. That should get me at least 51% of the popular vote!
  • By law, you will now not be allowed to talk to anyone before 9am on Monday mornings at your workplace.
  • If you miss an interview due to “car trouble” you will be publicly hanged. This is the single most overused excuse for missing an interview, get more creative or die.
  • If you are a no-call, no-show for an interview, or your first day of work, you will be deported to Siberia or Fargo (they’re basically the same).
  • Grammatical errors on resumes will now cost you a hand. You can pick which hand. I actually think this is dumb, but I need to pander to my electorate.
  • By law, you will no longer be able to call in sick for work on Mondays or Fridays. Because we know you’re lying.
  • Organizations caught paying less to women, for the same position, same skills, will be forced to fire every man that works for them.
  • All colleges will now cost the exact same amount. $10,000 per year for full tuition and books. Living expenses depends on where you can get in – i.e., it costs more to go to college in New York then Omaha. Private or Public. You still have to get accepted based on their admission policies.
  • Cats and dogs will now be allowed in all workplaces where there is not a health concern. No, you can’t bring your pot belly pig, or your snake, or your fish. Cats and dogs, we’re in America.
  • You will not be able to manage other people until you have worked for a minimum of five years in real jobs. No, going to school that mommy paid for and working four hours per week in the library doesn’t count as work.
  • We will now have CEO pay be directly paid in proportion to that of the average worker salary of the companies they lead. That proportion will be 25 times the salary of your employees. If your average salary is $45,000 for employees, the CEO can make $1,125,000. Don’t worry the 95% of white guys in those roles will be just fine. The extra corporate profit will be paid to the shareholders and employees in equal amounts.

I think that’s enough to get started. The HR Party will be huge! What do you think HR Pros? What platform items would you add?

 

The Gift of Desperation 

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Things are going pretty well. Very okay. Smooth. I’ve got no complaints. Just keeping the train on the tracks. We’re running a well-oiled machine. Things are humming along.

The sound of average is something we’ve gotten so use to hearing that we actually don’t even hear it any longer.

The calmness that surrounds average is warm and cozy, like an oversized extra-soft sweatshirt on a cool fall day.

We come in, we do our jobs, we go home.  We sleep well at night. Well, we at least sleep.

I have feeling true greatness doesn’t happen without a bit of desperation.  Your ass is on fire. You wake up in the middle of the night and you don’t know why, but you do.

Desperation is a gift to move you forward, for those who can handle it. Many can’t. Desperation will push some over the edge to give up or do stupid things. For many, it’s the push they need to finally do the thing they’ve wanted to do but were afraid to do.

Most of us will never really feel desperation. That you only have two choices, go backwards or fight like mad, claw, scrape, crawl to move forward.

Many will never see desperation as a gift, because many will not make it. It’s only those who make it past desperation that come to see it as a gift. As the push, they needed to overcome that obstacle in front of them and come out the other side stronger. For these fortunate few, desperation is a gift.

Your Sunsets Are Numbered!

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I had a couple of things happen to me this past week. First, I traveled to the Cayman Islands for an HR conference and some vacation.

I’m in love with the Cayman Islands. Great people, the most beautiful water you’ll ever see and mind changing sunsets.  I swam with Stingrays and Sea Turtles. I saved my wife’s life from dragged out to sea. I broke bread, several times, with friends, old and new. I was a pretty damn good trip!

I did Disrupt HR Cayman (My presentation starts at 18:18 on the video link) and talked about how Failure is the New Black, but shouldn’t be. Believing failure is okay is the worst snake oil being sold by leadership gurus today. Don’t believe the hype!

The sunset thing got me thinking. The other thing that happened is I had a friend unexpectedly pass away this past week as well.

So, I’m watching these great sunsets and thinking about my friend and understanding a little about you can’t take all of these sunsets for granted. But we do.

We take for granted that we will definitely see another sunset.  So, what does this all mean?

I could tell you the same crap you hear from everyone that talks about this: make sure you tell people you love them, do what you wish now, etc., etc., etc. But I won’t, because you won’t listen. Instead, do this:

  1. Drink expensive alcohol. You’ll drink less of it, and enjoy it more.
  2. Wear really good shoes. They’ll feel better, look better and last longer.
  3. Eat food that you like. I’m not a foodie. Sometimes people eat crap trying to impress others, but it quite honestly tastes awful. You’re not impressing anyone. Shake Shack tastes great. I’m that kind of foodie – burger and fries foodie.
  4. Hang with people who want to hang with you. We spend way too much time in life hanging with assholes.
  5. Go to the other side of the Island. There’s beauty everywhere, and yet we tend to go where we know.  Some of the greatest moments in my life happen when I go to where I know nothing.

How’s that for life-changing advice that you didn’t ask for?

Now get back to work and make some money!

The Tim Sackett Commencement Speech

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It’s that time of year when universities and high schools go through graduation ceremonies and we celebrate educational achievements.  It’s also that time of year when you get bombarded with every great commencement speech ever given.  There is clearly a recipe for giving a great commencement speech.  Here are the ingredients:

1. Make the graduates feel like they are about to accomplish something really great, and not just become part of the machine.

2. Make graduates believe like somehow they will be difference makers.

3. Make graduates think they have endless possibilities and opportunities.

4. Make graduates think the world really wants and need them and can’t wait to work with them.

5. Wear sunscreen.

I think that about sums up every great commencement speech ever given.  Let’s face it, the key to any great speech is not telling people what they need to hear, but telling them what they want to hear!

I would like to give a commencement speech.  I think it would be fun.  I like to inspire people.  Here are the main topics I would hit if I were to give a commencement speech:

1.  Work sucks, but being poor sucks more. Don’t ever think work should make you happy.  Find happiness in yourself, not what you do.

2.  You owe a lot of people, a lot of stuff.  Shut your mouth and give back to them. Stop looking for the world to keep giving you stuff.

3.  No one cares about you. Well, maybe your Mom, if you had a good Mom.  They care about what you can do for them.  Basically, you can’t do much, you’re a new grad.

4.  Don’t think you’re going to be special. 99.9% of people are just normal people, so will you.  The sooner you come to grips with this, the sooner you’ll be happy.

5.  Don’t listen to your bitter parents.  Almost always, the person who works the hardest has better outcomes in anything in life.  Once in a while, a person who doesn’t work hard, but has supremely better talent or connections than you, will kick your ass.  That’s life. Buy a helmet.

6.  Don’t listen to advice from famous people.  Their view of the world is warped through their grandiose belief somehow they made it through hard work and effort. It’s usually just good timing.

7. Find out who you care about in life, and make them a priority.  In this world, you have very few people you truly care about, and who care about you in return.  Don’t fuck that up.

8.  Make your mistakes when you’re young.  Failure is difficult, it’s profoundly more difficult when you have a mortgage and 2 kids to take care of.

9.  It’s alright that sometimes you have to kiss ass.  It doesn’t make you less of a person.

10.  Wear sunscreen.  Cancer sucks.

So, do you feel inspired now!?  Any high schools or colleges feel free to email me, I’m completely wide open on my commencement speech calendar and willing to give this speech in a moments notice!

Michael J Fox’s Perspective on Co-Workers #WorkHuman

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Michael J. Fox was one of the closing day keynotes at the WorkHuman conference this year, and he killed it like you expect. One of the key takeaways I took from his talk was in regards to all those people you work with on a day to day basis.

Mike Fox laid out two things you should think about when you think about how you interact with your co-workers:

1. Enjoy the people you work with for what they can positively contribute to you and your organization.  This is all about focusing on the strengths of those around you. If you constantly focus on what someone can’t do, you make them miserable and you stress yourself out as well.  People perform better when you allow them to do what they’re good at. When you recognize them for what they bring to the organization, not what they don’t bring.

2. If you can’t enjoy the person you work with, be thankful you’re not them. We are all going to have people in our life that we have to work with that we frankly just don’t like. Could be personality, or skills, or attitude, etc. Mike Fox said you can still find a positive out of this by focusing on the fact you’re grateful that you don’t have their challenges, and by helping those people be the best version of themselves.

I love this philosophy!

Mike Fox was very big on this concept that judging others will get you nowhere. It’s such a big part of culture. I know I do some this myself, and it’s not something I’m ever proud of. The reality is judging others says more about your inadequacies than it does about the persons you are judging. It was a great reminder.

It was a great reminder. In HR and TA we tend to believe ‘judging’ is part of our job description, but it’s not. The best HR and TA Pros I know don’t judge candidates or employees but find what is most useful of those individuals and try and put those people in positions to be successful.

Finally, Mike spoke about fear. Fear others have when they look at him. They look at him expecting to find fear in him and instead see their own fear in his eyes. That statement made me pause. He’s not fearful of his situation. He’s happy life gave him this enormous platform to change lives.

Perspective. We shouldn’t assume we know others based on our own beliefs and fears. Here’s a guy who is facing an uncertain future, but he’s embraced the joy of living one day at a time. The real secret, he didn’t share, is we all are facing life one day at time, he’s just figured it out way before us!

 

Don’t Apply to College if You’re White, Middle Class and Male

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I heard a female comedian the other day say one of the truest things I’ve ever heard:

Look, if you’re a white dude, and you’re failing in America, you’re really a failure! You’re like the definition of failure! You can’t be a white dude and complain about how hard life is. If you’re a white guy and you’re failing at life, you’re basically saying, “I can’t find a way to be successful in a society that was built for me.” That’s America.

Which is probably why Trump is trying to make it white great again!

What this comedian was saying is no one wants to hear white dudes whine about stuff. “Oh, it’s so hard to find a job.” “Oh, I can’t afford a house in the richest part of town.” “Oh, I’m not going to be able to retire until I’m 62.” In comparison to real people problems in the world, it all sounds stupid.

Did you hear the whole Kelly and Michael drama that blew up this past week? All said and done, Kelly comes out and says, “My Dad, who drove a bus for thirty years, thinks we’re all crazy!” Privilege, at any level, isn’t supposed to whine about shit.

So, all that being said, here’s my privilege whine:

College Acceptance and Tuition Payment is completely broken! 

My middle son is about to make his college choice. He’s got some great schools that have accepted him. He has some great ones that did not. His dream school was Duke. He also really liked Northwestern, Dartmouth, and UCLA. He has a 4.05 GPA on a 4.0 scale (honors classes give you additional GPA) and a 31 on his ACT (97th percentile of all kids taking this test).  He had the grades and test scores to get into all of those schools.

What he didn’t have was something else.

What is the something else?

He didn’t come for a poor family. He didn’t come from a rich family. He wasn’t a minority. He doesn’t have some supernatural skill, like shooting a basketball. He isn’t in a wheelchair. He isn’t from another country.

He’s just this normal Midwestern kid from a middle-class family who is a super involved student-athlete, student government officer, award-winning chamber choir member, teaches swimming lessons to children, etc., etc., etc.

Basically, he falls into this no-man’s land of what colleges and universities don’t want these days. Male and White.

Can I keep whining? Whatever, it’s my blog – buckle up! 

What is the other something else, from a financial perspective?

He got into Boston College, another dream school for him, and one that wanted him to come and continue his swim career at the Division 1 level. BC also costs $68,000 per year.

Colleges and U.S. Federal Government hate kids who come from families that do the right thing.  What’s the “right thing”?  He comes from a family that pays their mortgage, saved some money for his tuition and put money away for retirement.

Apparently, all those ‘positive’ things, like being financially responsible, are not liked by colleges and the federal government. Colleges and the U.S. Government would have preferred that I didn’t work, let my house go into foreclosure and was in debt up to my eyeballs. If that was the case, both the college and U.S. Federal Government would reward my bad decision making and pay for my son to go to school, fully!

Because he comes from a family that made good decisions, Boston College, and the Federal Government thought it was a good idea for him to pay $68,000 per year to attend their fine university.

My wife and I have spent our son’s entire lives saving for them for college. We sacraficed to basically give them a fund that would pay two full years of tuition and living at a normal state four-year college. The other two years are on their own. We feel they need to shoulder some of that cost to appreciate what it is they’re investing in.

I get it. No one wants to hear about how the middle-class kid can’t go to the super high-end school of his dreams because he can’t afford it.

I’m struggling with this. I’m no different than any other parent who tells their kid when they were little, work your butt off and one day you can go to Harvard! When I should have said, work your butt off, I’ll make awful financial decisions, and then you’ll be able to go to Harvard.

Here’s what I know, and it’s a hard pill to swallow, if my son did exactly what he did (grades, involvement, etc.) and he was Hispanic (or Black, or American Indian, or from a poor country) and I had no money, he would be getting ready to enroll into Duke. But he’s not.

What did he do wrong? He was born into a white family that worked their ass off to give him every advantage in life.

White privilege is a privilege until it’s not. Until a kid’s dream is broken for something he can’t wrap his brain around. Believe me, I understand this goes both ways. I understand there are black kids who don’t even get an interview for a job because some white kid’s Dad already got them the job ‘behind the scenes’. That isn’t right either! In my mind, I don’t see the difference between these two examples.

Rant over. Colleges are going the route of corporate America. White guys are bad, everyone else is desirable, do whatever it takes, at any cost, to make sure this happens. Well, unless, your old, corporate America doesn’t like older people either, no matter what color or gender you are – but that’s a rant for a different day!

Hit him in the comments and tell me how out of touch I am, then remember this is all about a 17-year-old boy with a dream. A dream he worked his ass off to achieve.

The 3 Conference Speakers You’ll See At a Conference Near You

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I was sitting at an HR conference last week next to my friend, Laurie Ruettimann, listening to someone talk about something they did at some company and made this statement:

“You know, you only see three types of conference speakers.”

We were bored. We start talking in the back like the bad kids in class. So, she played along and asked me what the three were.

Here’s my take:

1. Mr. or Mrs. Case Study – These speakers are usually one trick ponies. They did something good, once, at some company that has a big name, and now they get invited to speak at conferences. The basic speech is nothing more than them running down the path of what they did.

The entire breakdown is this: We had a problem. We came up with a solution. We implemented the solution. That was five years ago. Yes, Google does actually have bikes we can ride on campus.

It’s rare that case study speakers ever make it past this stage. Most aren’t that good at speaking, they just have this one thing and a corporate brand. Their skill was being at the right place, at the right time.

2. Mr. or Mrs. We Here To Pump You Up – These folks come in two flavors: 1. My own bullshit, and 2. I had bad shit happen to me, but hey! I’m still alive! First, let me say, I’m not dumping on these folks, they’re usually by far the best speakers you’ll see. This is their life. This is how they make their living.

I’m always amazed at how motivational type speakers truly believe in their own B.S. It’s really the only way you can do it. Can you imagine going from city to city, basically saying the exact same thing to people you know will never change, until one day you find yourself in a Holiday Inn Express in Cedar Rapids, IA with a gun in your mouth, sitting next to an empty bottle of gin. (Oh wait, I just described my last week)

3. Tomorrowland and The Sniper – These are the futurist/specialist type speakers. Everyone wants to hear what’s going to happen in the future, unfortunately, it’s all one big educated guess. On the specialist front, it’s also nice to hear a really talented specialist tell you how you should really being doing something. Unfortunately, most of these folks don’t keep doing it, so the ‘special’ advice they’re giving you is from five years ago!

I put these two together because you usually see these folks doing the same thing. It’s easier to talk about what you should be doing, instead of how to actually be doing it. Those the are the case study folks, but like I said above, they only know how to do it one way, with one company.

I will tell you, as one who has been to a few conferences, you’re most likely to walk into a disaster when it’s a case study speaker. They usually get invited because they come from a great company, but know one knows if they can actually speak or not. The biggest train wrecks come at this level.

But, I also have found some of my most favorite speakers at this level, because you just don’t know! Everyone starts somewhere. The basic equation of any of these three levels is three solid stories, some good laughs, and one ‘oh, you got us’ moments. If you can make that happen, people will leave happy.

The Most Average Place on Earth

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I was on Spring Break last week and I took my wife and two youngest sons to California. First, let me say, SoCal was pretty great! 70’s and Sunny, like 8 days in a row. I don’t think I’ve seen 70s and sunny for eight straight days in Michigan, ever! We stayed in Hermosa Beach. It was awesome. Perfect California vibe.

We also did a day at Disneyland and California Adventure.

I would say I’m a casual fan of Disney. I’m not a crazy Disney person, you know who you are. My sons are 19, 17 and 12. We haven’t been to Disney in about ten years. The last time we went was to Orlando and Disney World. We had a great experience.

This experience was fine.  Do you think Disney would like as a review? “Yeah, it was fine. It cost about $1000 for one day for a family of four and it seemed pretty fine…”

Fine.

The weather was great. Disney didn’t provide that. That was California and Delta Airlines.

It started off with me entering the Disney parking garage and paying $10. $10 to park? I’m about to pay $169 per person for one-day hopper passes and Disney feels like I should also pay $10. I would have rather paid $179 for each ticket ($40 towards parking), and not have paid anything for parking!  It’s the principle of it. You’re killing me to enter the park, at least, let me park for free.

The reason we go to Disney is because it’s supposed to Magical! That magic includes how you are treated, the cleanliness of the parks, how helpful the workers are, etc. You leave going, “Holy crap! Now that is customer service!” I left saying, “It was fine.”

The cost of stuff at Disney isn’t an issue for me. If you go to Disney you have to know you’re giving up a year of college for your kids. It’s a trade off so many families make on an annual basis. It just is what it is. For that huge cost, I do expect to the ‘classic’ Disney customer service.

I’ll give you some examples of things I was part of that showed me Disney has dropped off considerably:

  1. When you go on a ride at Disney those workers who are manning the ride are really into it, or at least, they should be. The workers at Disneyland were similar to the workers of any theme park I’ve been to in the last ten years. For that matter, they were similar to any fast-food workers I’ve come into contact with. I’m here. I’m getting paid to do this job. Next.
  2. Part of going to Disney is waiting in line. You have a lot of time to watch what’s going on. The details are what used to make Disney great. We were going on the Buzz Lightyear ride and the line was going out into the walkway. Disney likes to keep people in the line maze, so the guy in charge of Buzz Lightyear stopped to passing Disney workers from another ride to ask for help in extending his line. Both looked at him like, how dare you ask us! The one even said, “this isn’t my ride, I don’t know how to do that.” He was good, knowing he had guests watching, he said, “if you just watch my post for ten seconds I’ll take care of it.” She agreed and he ran and took care of it. She then complained to her coworker the entire thirty seconds he went to take care of this problem. This is not the Disney I expected.
  3. At one point I needed to use the restroom. I stopped a Disney worker and asked where I could find a restroom. He gave me directions. Go down that road, take a right, etc. Okay. My Disney expectation was this worker would have shown me where to go, at least, part way. “Let me show you.” Instead of, “Take the third right at the next intersection.”

For those who haven’t ever been to Disney, this might seem silly. I would say Disney expects more. Thus, I expect more when I go. My $1000 expects more ($10 for parking, $700 for tickets, $200 for food and drinks and $100 for souvenirs).

After spending 14 hours at the two parks on one day, I left feeling like Disney is no longer the most magical place on Earth. It was more like the most average place on Earth. My wife and kids felt the same way.

So, why does any of this matter? If you position yourself as “great”, as “the best”, as “magical”, people expect you’ll actually be that thing. Universal Studios doesn’t have this issue, but the experience is almost exactly the same. Under promise, over deliver. Disney is in an over promise, under deliver problem.

The one bad thing about marketing yourself as ‘magical’ is that people expect the experience to be, magical.

Reruns – Beautiful Things Don’t Ask For Attention

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It’s Spring Break in Michigan, so I’m going to step away from the daily grind and throw some Reruns at you! You guys remember Rerun, from What’s Happening? (look it up, kids!) So, enjoy the Reruns, they’re some of my favorites!

Originally ran January 2013 – 

Over the holidays, I got a chance to see the movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

Sean Penn plays freelance professional photographer Sean O’Connell.  Walter Mitty is played by Ben Stiller.  At one point Walter is searching for Sean to get an important negative and he finds Sean in some distant mountains, overseas, trying to capture a photo of a wild snow leopard.  Sean says this line when explaining to Walter why he goes to such lengths to get a photo:

“Beautiful things don’t ask for attention.”

In context or out, it’s a hugely profound line.  Sean isn’t necessarily speaking to the snow leopards outward beauty but saying something truly beautiful, inside and out, doesn’t ask for attention, nor necessarily want attention.  Each of us defines beauty differently, so this statement takes on a different meaning for all of us.

I love this, I’ll leave it at that.