Category Archives: Communication

Employees Want You To Tell Them This

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“Can I be honest with you?” is a phrase usually followed by some sh*t you don’t want to hear.  We talk about this concept a bunch in HR. We need to tell our employees the truth about their performance.  We work to coach managers of people on how to deliver this message appropriately.  We develop complete training sessions and bring in ‘professional’ communicators to help us out on the exact phraseology we want to use.  All so we can be ‘honest’ with our employees.

Can I be honest with you?

No one wants you to be honest with them.

Employees want you to tell them this:

  1. You’re doing a good job.
  2. We like having you on the team.
  3. You’re better than most of the others here.
  4. Your career looks promising, and a promotion might be on the horizon.
  5. Here’s your yearly raise.

But that’s only true for about 5% of your crew. The other 95%? Well, they won’t be thrilled with total honesty.

Talent management is a tough nut to crack. No fancy software can fix this. Most folks don’t dig straight-up honesty. It’s uncomfortable, causes drama, and people don’t like hearing they need to step up. Tell someone there’s ‘room for improvement,’ and they think you just called them a failure about to get the boot.

As managers, we tend to dance around the truth. We all have things to get better at, but saying it out loud stings. If someone says they’re cool with feedback, they’re probably lying to you and themselves. Those are the ones who lose it when they hear the truth. People who say they want honest feedback actually want to hear they’re rock stars. Anything less, and they freak out.

So, what’s the real solution?

Say nothing. Set clear metrics for performance. Make sure everyone gets them. When an employee asks for feedback, hand over the metrics and let them spill first. That way, you can agree or disagree. Otherwise, it’s all just opinions, and opinions and honesty don’t mix well.

But hey, you already knew that. Thanks for stopping by. You’re doing a solid job – way better than the other readers. Keep it up, and you’re on the up-and-up!

The Power of Words in a Job Description

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Once upon a time (it was a decade ago, but I don’t want to feel old) I wrote about a cool study where Wired teamed up with OkCupid and Match.com. They crunched tons of data from popular dating profiles and found the top 1000 words that got the most clicks. Now, I’m thinking if these words can get people together in dating, maybe they can also get folks interested in jobs.

I’m not just revisiting the topic; I’m going a bit further and tweaking these words to fit the changes in the past 10 years. I get it; words that work for dating might sound weird for jobs, but hear me out. It’s time to rewrite job descriptions to ditch the boring HR talk and be more real and appealing.

Here are the seven sets of words that data says work for getting more dates hires:

  1. Active Life Words: Throw in words like yoga, surfing, pilates, cross fit, hiking, hot girl walk – things that show your company’s active side.
  2. Pop Culture Vibes: Toss in references to things like Ted Lasso, Stranger Things, or Michael Scott. It gives your company a personality. Go ahead and mention Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce while you’re at it. Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.
  3. Music Words: Check out the top trending artists on Spotify or Apple Music. Add them in. A couple of lines of lyrics work, too. It adds a bit of musical flair to your job descriptions. Taylor Swift works in this category too.
  4. Chill Words: Use words like ocean, meditation, trust, therapeutic, and balanced – things that make your job sound calm and secure, which is a big deal nowadays.
  5. Foodie Feel: Words like chocolate, appetizers, sushi, happy hour, or Starbucks bring people together. Everyone eats. Share your company’s food scene.
  6. Power Words: Drop in terms like creative, motivated, ambitious, innovative, and passionate. Make your job descriptions more interesting than just the legal stuff.
  7. Spontaneity: Tattoos, f*ck, wasted, kissing, puppies, sucking, lucky, these words haven’t changed in 10 years. Stuff you wouldn’t normally find in a job ad – we threw it in just because. It might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it could catch the eye of the newer generation.

5 HR Habits to Drop Now

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Are you doing everything you can to be a top-notch HR pro? Sometimes, it’s essential to take a step back and see if certain habits might be holding you back.

Here’s my list of what habits are holding us back as a profession:

  1. Keep It Personal: In HR, relationships matter. Instead of relying on emails or texts, try talking face-to-face or picking up the phone. Building real connections helps create a positive workplace and makes you a more effective HR professional.
  2. Be Open-Minded in Hiring: Don’t let small things affect your hiring choices. Whether it’s where someone went to school (God forbid they went to your rival) or how they shake hands, focus on what really matters – their skills and qualifications.
  3. Deal with Salary Realities: It’s easy to get frustrated about pay differences between departments. But instead of dwelling on it, concentrate on excelling in your HR role. Understand that each department has its challenges, and your HR skills are crucial in their own way. No one wants to hear about it.
  4. Skip the Power Trip: Avoid using power just for the sake of it. True influence comes from collaboration, not strict rules. Approach your role as someone who facilitates, helping people succeed without unnecessary control.
  5. See the Bigger Picture: While HR is important, it’s not the only show in town. Shift your focus from thinking HR is superior to understanding how you can contribute to the whole organization. Use your HR skills to make everyone’s life easier.

If you want to be a better HR pro, start with these simple steps:

  • Regularly talk to colleagues in different departments. Find out what challenges they’re facing, not just HR issues, and offer real help. This “Business Partner” approach goes beyond typical HR duties and makes you a valuable asset.
  • Learn on the Job: Don’t worry if you don’t know everything about every department. Talk to your peers, learn from them, and use your problem-solving skills to contribute to their issues. Being willing to understand different parts of the business will make you a better HR professional.

Improving as an HR pro is about letting go of limiting habits and being more collaborative and supportive. This way, you’ll become a more effective and valued member of your organization.

Make my birthday wish come true!?

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Guess what?

It’s my birthday! Let’s make this one for the books – literally! The only thing I want is for you to go pre-order my new book The Talent Fix, Vol. 2. Head over to the pre-order page, secure your copy, and let the countdown to the book release begin!

I’m beyond grateful for your ongoing support and am lucky to continue sharing this incredible journey with you. Cheers to another year of growth, learning, and a leader’s guide to recruiting great talent.

Burning a Hire

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If you’re a fan of baseball, you know there’s this cool thing in the game where a pitcher throws a ‘burn’ pitch to set up another one. It’s not about scoring a point but getting ready for a better play down the line.

Ever thought about doing that in HR? Ever burned a hire?

In big companies, sometimes you have to burn hires to make a point or get your hiring managers on board. I remember when we brought in this fancy pre-employment test, and the managers hated it. They didn’t trust the science behind it. Good assessments only work if everyone believes they’re worth it in the end.

I let the managers hire people they liked, even when the test said they might not work out. It was a gamble, but I wanted to show the value of the tools we were using. I wouldn’t keep doing it, but sometimes you need to prove your point for the greater good.

I’ve also burned hires with executive referrals. Top-level folks sometimes want to get jobs for their family, and most of the time, these hires don’t work out. But fighting against it isn’t smart, so you burn a hire.

Not many HR people openly admit to burning hires, but behind closed doors, we know it happens. Sometimes, the small battles aren’t as crucial as the bigger internal war, so you let certain hires go through even when you’d normally stop them.

This doesn’t make you bad at HR; it’s just being strategic. Like the pitcher, you’re setting yourself up for success by burning a hire here and there.

Love Love Love

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I love to love. I’m not into expecting it back in the same way. Not everyone gets that, though. You hear people saying, “I love that person,” but when they don’t get the same love in return, they act like they never loved them in the first place.

Work relationships are kinda like that.

When you’re working, you want to feel good about your job. You also want your boss to feel good about you. It’s a two-way street.

For me, loving someone doesn’t change just because they might not love me the same way back. My kids loved me like crazy when they were little. I was their world. Now that they’re older, I’m not the center anymore, but that doesn’t change how I feel about them. It’s growth, not a downgrade. I hope I’ve taught them to love their own kids if they have any.

Same goes for employees. If they don’t love me anymore, it hurts, but I’m not going to stop caring about them. I want them to do well, even if it’s not with me. That’s just how I roll.

So, here’s to keeping it real and spreading love!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Don’t Say That!

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Found this oldie but a goodie and I thought it would be a fun one to revisit. Still holds true, right?

7 Things You Should Never Say When Asking for a Raise!

Posted on  by Tim Sackett

There are certain conversations in our work lives that cause people the most anxiety and having to go in and ask for money is, on my list, the next most anxious work conversation most people will face.  I can think of many times that I wanted more money, thought I deserved to get more money, and heck even our good old Comp people said the market should be paying me more money, and still, it is a difficult conversation to have with my superior (at least for me).

Like many people, I think I do a good job, give my best effort, produce great results, and after all that, should I really need to ask? Shouldn’t my boss ‘get it’ and just want to write me a blank check?!

With all this in mind, most people will screw this conversation up by saying things they really want to say, but shouldn’t, if they’re trying to get a raise.  Here are the top things you probably shouldn’t say when asking for a raise:

1. “If you pay 10% more, I will really put in some extra effort!” – So what you’re saying is you’re not putting in extra effort now…

2. “I looked in our HRIS system and I know Sheila on the 5th floor is making $5000 more than I am – and she’s an idiot!” – Not the best strategy to look at others’ private comp information, even if you have access, then call them an idiot – at least in my experience…

3. “If you don’t pay me more money, I’ll be forced to find another job that will pay me what I worth” – Be careful, I’ve tried this one, and they might call your bluff!

4. “I’ve done the math and if you fire Mike, I can do his job and mine, you save $50K, after giving me $25K of his $75K salary” – This actually might be a really good idea, But Mike might be the last one standing with the $25K raise, not you!

5. “I really don’t understand how you can be worth $50K more than me, I do all your work – and deserve more money” – Bosses just love to hear they are overpaid, don’t do anything, and you can do their job – NOT!

6. “I saved the company $1 million in reducing recruiting fees, by implementing a social media strategy successfully, I should at least get a fraction of those savings” – Why, yes you should – if you were in sales, but you’re in HR, and this was part of your job description. Sorry for the wake-up call – all employees aren’t treated equally – put on a helmet.

7. “I know times are tough, so I was thinking instead of more money you could give me an extra week’s vacation or pay for my health insurance or something else like that.” – Okay, Einstein, stop thinking – it’s all money. Vacation, health insurance, paid parking, lunch money – it all hits the bottom line on the income statement. You just showed how expendable you really are.

I’ve learned over the years, through trial and error (okay, mostly error) that many, if not all, of the above statements just don’t seem to have the impact that I was hoping for with my supervisor.  I have seen peers, who performed well, were loyal, dedicated to doing their best for themselves, their co-workers, and the company, and got the raise they wanted by just being patient.

Supervisors are as uncomfortable as you are to have the compensation conversation. If you are as good as you profess to be, then they do want to give you more, but probably can’t due to budget, market, others performing even better than you, etc. It may be the hardest thing to do, but being patient usually works out the best of all!

I’ve Always Been a Straight-Shooter

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Like most recruiting teams, we deal with our fair share of “Repeat Offenders” – those folks who just won’t quit when it comes to job contacting you. Maybe we’ve called them, interviewed them, or even hired them at some point. But now, they’re like persistent shadows – calling, emailing, hitting us up on LinkedIn, and even sending friend requests on Facebook. Stalker!

One of our recruiters said, “John Smith (a boring fake pseudonym, I know) won’t stop bugging me; he emails me his resume every single day!” We all know John Smith. He used to work for us at a client, and it didn’t end well. Now, he wants us to find him his next gig. But here’s the catch – it’s not about his skills; it’s his personality. He was a pain for the client and his co-workers, and frankly, he’s not the right fit for any job.

So, here’s the burning question: How do you get John Smith to back off? This is a situation every recruiter faces sooner or later.

Here’s my simple solution:

  1. Tell Them! Be honest. That’s it – no more steps.

    The problem with recruiters is that we’re scared to burn bridges. We worry about where the person might end up, who might hire them, and we don’t want to mess up our good rep. We’re all about the “Candidate Experience,” right? Well, that’s a load of nonsense. It’s just avoiding conflict. It’s better to give them that gift than let them walk around clueless. So, be straight up.

    Tell them exactly, very specifically, and calmly, with no ill intent: “I want to give you a gift. You might not see it as a gift right now, but I hope in time you’ll understand it to be a very valuable gift. I (don’t use ‘we’ or ‘us’ or ‘the company’ – you’re avoiding again by using those) – I think you have a significant personality flaw that comes across as annoying to me and, from the feedback I have received, to those you work with. If this does not change, I won’t be finding you any job in the future, and you’ll probably struggle to find one on your own as well.” OUCH! That hurt, right? But, read it again. Was there anything mean or untrue in the statement? If this person actually listens to the statement and acts on it, will they be better for it? You can change the reason for whatever issue the person might have – maybe it’s hygiene, maybe it’s a crazy laugh, who knows – but the basic message stays the same. You need to change, or I never want to speak to you again.

It’s tough for recruiters because we’re trained to be nice, but sometimes being nice means stringing people along. It’s rude not to tell them what’s wrong. Stop with the blow-off lines and start telling the truth. At the very least, you’ll free up time to talk to the candidates who actually matter.

Reject Like a Pro

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Getting turned down for a job sucks, but how you handle it can impact how people see your company. A while ago, I applied for an executive gig, and 18 months later (emphasis on this), I got a snail mail rejection letter. No communication for 18 months – then a rejection. Now that’s a solid candidate experience, right!?

That experience got me thinking about the dos and don’ts of rejection letters. Here’s the lowdown:

Dos:

  1. Send signed letters to folks you talked to personally – phone calls, meetings, or internal referrals. And don’t wait 18 months.
  2. Write rejection letters that match your company vibe.
  3. If someone’s a definite no, shoot them the rejection letter. For maybes, keep them in the loop.
  4. Use the ATS for mass rejection emails when there’s been zero personal contact.

Don’ts:

  1. Don’t send a letter to everyone who applies. When someone applies, include a message in your recruitment process, letting them know that only those selected for interviews are considered part of the process. This means we’ll communicate directly with those individuals. Others, thanks for applying – please consider other positions that match your experience and background.
  2. Avoid saying someone else was more qualified – you can’t know for sure. Focus on the one who fits your current needs.
  3. Ditch the promise of keeping resumes for the future. Be straight – if they want another shot, tell them to reapply and maybe network a bit.

In the end, rejection letters should leave people thinking, “Okay, I applied once, and I’d do it again. Maybe even support or buy from this company.” It’s not easy, but doable.

For real feedback on your rejection game, give a few rejected candidates a call. They’re usually cool with sharing their thoughts on the process.

I Love a Rivalry!

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I’m all about it – winning, competing, the buzz, and yeah, even losing. Losing keeps you caring about winning.

Not everyone sees it like that, though. Some think we should all just get along and that having rivals is old news.

But here’s my take – real competition with rivals pushes us to be better than we thought we could be. Without that push, we’d never hit our top performance.

The snag with rivals at work is it can get ugly real quick if it’s not handled right. That’s why some folks say we don’t need rivals in society.

A badly managed rivalry, especially at work, can wreck the vibe faster than anything else. It turns into a “me against them” deal, even when ‘them’ is just another part of ‘us’!

But, if done right, rivalries can light a fire under leaders and teams, taking them to some crazy high performance levels. External rivals, like competitors, bring that extra kick. Those are the rivalries we love – kicking the competition’s butt!

Internal rivals can be just as motivating, maybe even more because it’s real. Your rival is someone you know, or at least more than your competition.

This relationship with an internal rival is where the energy comes from, both good and bad. We hope these internal rivalries drive both sides to greatness, but it doesn’t always pan out that way.

Usually, internal rivals end up trying to outdo each other, when what we really want is both sides reaching greatness and cheering each other on. I used to think it wasn’t doable when I was a young leader.

One side wins, one side loses. That’s a rivalry.

But over time, I’ve seen that the best leaders figure out ways for healthy rivalries, getting everyone to back each other up and celebrate together. It’s about plenty – there’s enough success for all of us. As you succeed, and your co-workers succeed, that success lifts us all.

I first saw this in college sports. A coach taught us to push each other as rivals in practice when it helps us be our best. But when it’s game time, we stick together to reach our goal of winning. It’s about the team.

So, leaders, when you’re setting up internal rivalries, keep in mind that concept of plenty and togetherness. It’s about me, until it’s about we. The leader’s got to show us where that line is.