Category Archives: Diversity

The Diversity of Productivity

Posted on by
4

It’s widely held in the HR field that the most productive organizations are the most ‘diverse’.  The problem is that concept is misinterpreted by most HR Pros and executives.  Most still believe that concept pertains to the ethnic diversity of your team (the color of the faces you hire).  It might be the greatest fallacy in the HR industry today!   In actuality, Productivity has zero correlation with team ethnic diversity.  So, what kind of diversity does make us more productive?

From Fast Company:

“A growing body of research shows that diversity–in gender, thinking styles, and intro- and extroversion–is needed for teams to be their most productive.

Writing at 99u, Christian Jarrett, the psychologist-turned-writer behind the British Psychological Society’s superlative Research Digest blog“

You need 3 types of Diversity to get the most productivity out of your teams:

1. Gender

2. Thinking Style

3. Behavioral Style

None of those have anything to do with the color of your skin.

Let me breakdown the three types of diversity and why I think they have such impact to productivity:

Gender: To me this is good old nature at its best!  Boys want to impress girls, girls want to look good in front of boys — for the most part. Sometimes boys want to look good in front of other boys.  I get that, I’m that old.  The other thing with gender that I’ve learned from being married 20+ years, is that women and men sometimes think differently. Sometimes…which in itself will lead your team down a path in a number of ways, with a number options if you have a good gender mix.  Gender diversity on teams in relation to productivity might have the greatest impact to positive productivity over anything else we can do.

Thinking Style: Whereas Gender is probably underutilized by HR Pros to help productivity, Thinking Styles might be the one we most rely on when thinking about non-ethnic diversity!  “It’s Diversity of thought!” is the most over utilized statement in diversity.  Primarily because so few of us actually use real scientific tools to measure what someone’s thinking style is. “Oh, Tim’s old and a republican so he must think one way, and Mary is young and democrat so she thinks this opposite!”  Is potentially so wrong, yet how most organization determine ‘Diversity of Thought’.

Behavioral Style:  Having both introverted and extroverted individuals on a team is huge.  Too many people like me on a team and no one gets a word in edge-wise.  Too many introverted folks and either nothing happens, or the one extroverted person controls the entire process.  All can be very bad.  Getting your introverts in an environment where they are comfortable to share their knowledge is key to your organizations performance.

This is not a message that is being shared to your executives at most organizations.  They are still very ‘black and white’ in their thoughts on diversity.  While ethnic diversity can make great additions to your workplace culture, don’t mistake it for having positive impact to your productivity.  There isn’t any science that proves this, yet.

What The ‘F’ Do Recruiters Know?!

Posted on by
1

FYI – Gang!  I’ve been asked to be a part of a panel discussion at SXSW 2014!  I’m super excited because I’ve never been to SXSW, but everyone tells me it’s something you have to do, if your anybody.  And if I’m anything, I’m somebody.  Being somebody, I’m asking you to vote for our session.  The voting seems a little American Idolish, reality TV show, but, Hey, give the people what they want and they’ll return the next year.  SHRM should take note…

Here’s the details on the Session:

What the F*ck Do Recruiters Know?

What the F*ck do recruiters know? They know most of you have no freaking shot at ever being in a management position, but all of you think you want to be and can be. They know your too fat and too ugly to have a great career – but you have zero self-insight and think ‘that stuff really shouldn’t matter’ – when it does to those making the decisions. Recruiters know that they don’t have to know your job, to find someone better to replace you. Recruiters know nothing about what you do – and they’re completely fine with that – but you’re not. Recruiters know how to get shit done in your organization and what buttons to push to get stuff over the finish line.

The gang from America’s Snarkiest HR and Recruitment Blog – Fistful of Talent – takes the filters off and shows you that the shit that recruiters know.

Session synopsis: Recruiters don’t know shit, except some shit you want to know, come and get to know their shit and you’ll be the shit.

– See more at: http://panelpicker.sxsw.com/vote/20816#sthash.fZL1hSBn.aIWAdapn.dpuf

I’m guessing it will be fun.  Probably won’t change my life, but a cool experience talking with like-minded people, and beer.

Go vote, please.  Takes like 2 minutes to register and vote.  Look at it this way – each day I provide free content.  2 minutes to vote for this session is payment for sucking all of my ideas into your work places’ for free for the past 2 years.  BTW – I have tracking program that shows me who reads each blog and exactly where they go after leaving my blog – so I know.  I know if you truly care about me or not.  And much like Santa, I’m making a list.

It’s your move.

– See more at: http://panelpicker.sxsw.com/vote/20816#sthash.fZL1hSBn.aIWAdapn.dpuf

Top HR Lies

Posted on by
12

In the never ending quest to beat a blog series to death, let’s hope this is my last installment of “Top Lies” (Top Candidate Lies, Top Recruiter Lies).

At this point I’ve completely pissed off ‘candidates’, made some fun of Recruiters, so now it’s time to really have some fun with the easiest target of all  — HR!  For the most part my peers in HR have fairly thick skin.  HR is actually use to being made the joke in the professional world.  The only profession that gets made fun of worse is probably lawyers!  I could do an entire post on why HR lacks respect, but that has been done a thousand times and in reality having respect in HR isn’t a professional dilemma, it’s a personal one!  If you’re in HR and don’t have respect in your organization, don’t blame the HR profession, you need to look in the mirror!

All that being said, HR might be the king of the liars in your organization!  Let’s break down a few of Top HR Lies:

– “In HR we are here for ‘our’ Employees!”  — HR is not an employee advocate.  HR supports the organization’s leadership and mission.  BTW – many HR Pros don’t even get this concept! When push comes to shove, HR will always support that way leadership wants to go, not the way employees want to go.

– “You can tell HR, we are always confidential!” — No we’re not! HR has an obligation to look out for the best interest of the organization, not you.  If you tell HR something ‘confidentially’, there is a very good chance that information will be shared with others in the organization.  The reality.  HR has to mitigate the risk of the organization.  Your craziness has risk to it.

– “We had no idea layoffs were coming…” —  Sorry, but we did.  But we just can’t tell you that and create panic throughout the organization.  So, we lie. It sucks, but there isn’t any other way.

– “No, you can’t change your health benefits until next Open Enrollment, it’s the law!”  — Yeah, that’s kind of a lie as well!  There are laws governing when we ‘have’ to allow you to change your benefits (marriage, child being born, divorce, etc.), but HR can decide to change the plan rules and allow you to change if we wanted. But, that becomes a logistical nightmare!  Even with keeping our plan rules intact, we can still get around it.  Let’s say you are a young employee and chose the crappy low-cost catastrophic major medical plan that basically covers nothing, but you’re young and nothing will ever happen to you. Then, something does happen to you.  You come to HR. HR says, “We told you so! Sorry, you have to wait until next Open Enrollment, have fun with that cancer!”  HR could actually fire you on a Friday, hire you back on Monday and have you sign up for the ‘new’ insurance.  Based on your plan there could be some audit risk based on IRS code, section 125 – so check it out before you go do this. But, it’s not like you’re doing this all the time – this is maybe once a year for a desperate situation – I’ll take that risk (and have) to help my employee in this situation!

– “We fire people!”  — HR has never fired anyone, ever.  Managers of of employees fire people.  HR just supports that decision, and frequently influences a manager to make that decision, but we don’t pull the trigger.  Managers blame HR — “HR is telling me I have to do this”, but that’s a lie as well.  HR advises of the consequences if certain actions aren’t taken. Ultimately, leaders make the final decision on what is actually going to happen.

– “Top performers get rewarded!” — Actually, in most organizations even average performers get rewarded….and low performers.  We have a compensation plan and don’t want to leave anyone out. So, you can be great and get a 3% raise. Your cube mate could be a slug and get a 1% raise.  How does that feel?

–  “We treat everyone equally!” — The reality is we treat certain employees better and give them more leeway to screw up, because they are more valuable to the organization.  Not all employees are create equal.  That was just something that sounded good on the poster for the break room.   Some employees are actually substantially more valuable to the organization than you are.  We treat them differently.

– “We value diversity and inclusion!” — We actually really don’t give a crap about this.  It gets shoved down our throats, legally, organizationally, etc. What we really care about is filling positions with solid talent.  But leadership makes me provide a report that counts the color of faces, so now we have to care.  So we care about the number of faces, not the true sense of diversity.  Don’t hate the players, hate the game.

Alright HR Pros – What Lies Did I Forget?

 

 

Employees, Smoking = Less Money

Posted on by
2

Smokers will hate to hear this, but if you smoke, you’re more likely to make less money.

Really?

Really.

From CNBC —

“In a new paper, Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta economists Julie Hotchkiss and Melinda Pitts found that smokers only earn about 80 percent of what nonsmokers earn. People who used to smoke and quit more than a year earlier, though, earn 7 percent more than people who never lit up in the first place.

The PSA advice that “one cigarette is one too many” apparently is true at work. Hotchkiss and Pitts found that the earnings of both a weekend social smoker and a pack-a-day puffer suffer a similar wage gap.

“It is simply the fact that someone smokes that matters in the labor market, not the level of intensity,” they wrote. “Even one cigarette per day is enough to trigger the smoking wage gap.”

That truly sucks, because those of you who know me, know I love hanging out with smokers!  Smokers are the backbone of your informal office communication network.  Smokers come in all shapes and sizes, from all levels of your organization.  It’s nothing on any given day to see a senior executive and some rank and file employee, standing outside enjoying a smoke and some small talk.  Many times strong relationships are formed outside in the ‘smokers area’, and it is very common for information to be shared that normally wouldn’t be amongst employees of different ranks.  I don’t smoke – but I love going out and hanging with smokers!

So, as you can imagine, this news from the Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta (and why does Atlanta have their own Federal Reserve?!) was extremely disheartening to me.  I wonder what else Julie and Melinda have been digging into down there in Atlanta?  Do employees who drink Gin make more than all other employees? (please let this be true!) What about the office slut? Does he/she make more money, at work?  If so, did they name that ‘the slut wage gap’?  Do our tax dollars support this ‘research’?

Here is what I know, compensation pro wannabes, if slice and dice the data enough, you can make up any conclusion you want to.  The reality is, smoking equates mostly to lower education, thus lower wages.  That’s a broad stroke, but fairly accurate.  Educated people, for the most part, understand that smoking is bad for you.  Having that knowledge, and being educated, tends then to lead to a non-smoking life.  Having lower education, and knowing smoking is bad for you, tends to lead to a life of ‘what the hell, I’m going to die anyway’.  Some educated folks fall into this same trap.

So, I’ll ask you my smoking friends – if you knew you could make more money, would you stop smoking?  Also, if you never smoked, are you willing to pick it up for a 7% bump in pay?!

Smoke’em if you’ve gotten them in the comments…

 

2014 Career Paths: Prison, Military or College

Posted on by
3

My gun-loving Democratic friend, Laurie Ruettimann, sent me an article last week about the plight of Americans from the Washington Times basically saying 4 out of 5 Americans are at or near Poverty. I sent a message back ‘joking’ that it was another attempt by her to convert me to Democrat.

She replied with “No, it’s my attempt to get help. It’s employers like ‘you’ who can help this, not government, not Democrats, not Republicans…”

Here’s segment of that article:

“Here’s a snippet of what the American dream has become in the past few years: Irene Salyers, 52, of Buchanan County, Va., said the economic trend is only going to get worse.

“If you do try to go apply for a job, they’re not hiring people, and they’re not paying that much to even go to work,” she said, AP reported. The youth have “nothing better to do than to get on drugs.”

The American Dream is a nightmare for the majority of Americans. Our government can’t help. Let’s face it: the brightest people in our society aren’t in government; they are in private industry because that’s where the money is. Our government is mostly filled with narcissists who like to think they are really important while doing nothing but spending our tax dollars on band-aid programs and trying to stop the bleeding of a broken system. That’s just reality. 

No one, on either side of the political fence, has the brainpower to stop what’s going on.  They just jump on the bull and hang on with no control over where the beast wants to go.

I use humor in most situations. It’s my defense mechanism. When you grow up in the inner city — white, short and red headed — you either get your ass kicked or become funny. I didn’t like getting my ass kicked, so I got funny. Over the past year I’ve come up with what I think the career path is for my own three sons in today’s world. It’s what our government and public education system now provide to every American child.

What Career Path Will You Choose?

There are three concrete paths:

1. College

2. The Military

3. Prison

Realistically, those are the only three career paths a middle-class American child has today.

If you are a smart white kid with some money in your family, you have options. You can go to college. You can go to Europe. If you are a smart minority kid, the government will pay for you to go to college.

But most kids from the “lower-middle” or “lower classes” will either go to military or prison, regardless of race. A few will make it through the Community College ranks. 

(One caveat, super smart kids can go to college on scholarship no matter what race.)

But the broader point is this: if you are of average-to-lower intelligence, your career path narrows. College isn’t an option. Let’s face it — if High School kicked your ass, college probably isn’t a good bet. So you are left with the Military, which is actually a great option for many young people today who are lost.

Or you have prison.

This is what our society is showing our young people. College is the only way to move up. And if you don’t go to college, you have to go to the military or you’ll end up in prison.

We no longer have skilled trade programs. Service jobs don’t pay enough for you to actually live. Any decent hourly wage job will eventually be sent overseas or technology will be invented to make it obsolete.

Our President wants to start a Community College program that will allow most Americans to attend. I actually like this idea — but it’s really just taking the old programs that high schools use to provide and moving them into ‘High School II’ — aka community colleges. I think high schools could do most of these ‘non-professional’ programs better and cheaper than community colleges — but at least it’s a start.

Corporations, ultimately, will have the final say with all of this. If American companies want and need a trained workforce, they will make it happen regardless of what our government does. If they don’t, the career paths I’ve laid out will remain.

I am not trying to be pessimistic. If anything, I am being pragmatic in my views of our current situation.  Four out of five Americans are within reach, or in, poverty. That’s real. 

What is your company doing to help out this situation?

 

Inclusion – As Defined By A Conservative White Guy

Posted on by
8

Before I go off – let me say I’m 100% sure Pro Diversity and Inclusion camps don’t have me in mind to be their spokesperson.  You see I’m white. I’m middle-aged. I’m a male.  I tend to lean conservative in my political views, moderately.  So, if you’re really into Diversity and Inclusion – I can totally see why you’ll immediately discount everything I’m about to say.  If I was a women – a black woman – a liberal black woman – a liberal black woman in a wheelchair  – well then – I’d expect you’d listen pretty closely. Right? Don’t kid yourself.

If that’s the case – you’re as closed minded as you believe I am.

I’m completely sick and tired of hearing about Diversity and Inclusion in the way it is being advocated for by my HR brothers and sisters.  It literally makes me sick to my stomach.  Here’s why – with every program, every communication you espouse about your organization being ‘Inclusive’ – what you’re really saying is –

“ABC Company values Inclusion as long as you’re view points are the same view points that we share.”

This isn’t Inclusion!  This is ‘Exclusion’ to the definition!  But you’re selling it as Inclusion.  Am I insane!? (Don’t answer that – it was rhetorical!) Or did someone change what Inclusion really means?

You see – by my middle aged white conservative viewpoint – Inclusion means we should accept everyone – all view points, all colors, all shapes and sizes.  But when ‘I’ the middle aged white conservative guy wants to share ‘my’ beliefs – your organization doesn’t want to hear those.  What you want to hear is that I really have liberal beliefs, that I support abortion, that I think marijuana is harmless, that tattoos are super cool, that everyone should be working from home, that all people have the ability to do all jobs, that I’m not religious – and if I am it’s a religion that you totally support, and that if my religious beliefs somehow don’t support your liberal view of inclusion that I’ll never speak those views publicly and make those employees who do have different views that I uncomfortable – although it’s fine if they throw their views in my face, since that is what ‘Inclusion’ is all about…

The funny thing is – I would define myself as a fiscal conservative, socially liberal and I don’t go to church but was raised around many religions- so I can adapt and fit into almost anywhere.  But since I’m white and middle aged and voted Republican – I can’t fit into most of your Inclusion demographics – which is again is funny to me – since Inclusion is defined as:

“the act of including or the state of being included”

No where in the dictionary did the definition include: “if you believe the same things we believe ‘inclusion’ to mean” or “if you some form of minority”.  The definition is short and clear – Inclusion means everyone is included – even Me – middle aged conservative white guy!  My HR peers are forgetting the “Inclusive” part of “Inclusion”.  I’m reminded of this daily, not because of my own demographic makeup – but I have a 70 year old father still in the work force and he continues to share stories with me about how his 50 years of experience is no longer relative.  That somehow 50 years of experience is becoming worthless.  That on a daily basis – he feels his organization is less inclusive, and more exclusive – because the only people who know anything are the young.  Again – Inclusive-Exclusion at its finest.

But – I understand while you’ll discount this – I’m not liberal – I’m not a minority – the only disability I have is horrible grammar.  I don’t count.  Maybe we can call this ‘new’ Inclusion – “Inexclusion” – being inclusive to those that we share our same ideas, beliefs and opinions.  What do you think?

Helping Your Employees Through Their Quarter-Life Crisis

Posted on by
Reply

When I was a kid I would hear my parents and grandparents speak of a ‘midlife’ crisis.  It might be about someone buying a convertible Corvette or getting a divorce and dating someone half their age, etc. In my mind I always considered the term ‘midlife’ to be at the age of 50!  Like I said, I was young!  As I got older I realized I didn’t want to live to be 100! So, midlife took on a different definition from high 30’s to low 40’s.  Not to be outdone – millennials have coined a new term – ‘Quarter-Life’ Crisis.  This is that extremely difficult and challenging time you have around the age of 25 years of age…

Knowing how challenging it was for me to be 25 years old and having no responsibilities, mortgage, kids, tons of free time – I wanted to give HR Pros some tips on helping your own employees through this most difficult part of their life.  Here’s goes:

– If you’ve been having this overwhelming feeling of – ‘Hey, I’m 25 and haven’t really accomplished anything in my life!”  Don’t be afraid – you are not a freak – in fact 22% of people your age haven’t accomplished anything either, and the other 78% of your friends who have accomplished ‘something’ are lying about it on their Tumbler.

– Feeling completely paralyzed by indecision?  Again, completely normal.  You feel this way because you have no real life experience on which to draw upon to make actual real meaningful decisions.  This feeling will go away in about 10-15 years, after you made many failed decisions to learn from.

– Getting bored with your friends?  That’s alright – they’re bored with you as well.  It’s because you have nothing to talk about, yet.  Get married, have some kids, buy a house – now you can be boring with each other on all those topics!  Nothing makes your friends less boring than to hear about baby bowels movements and having to replace your water heater!

– Starting to feel differently about dating?  You should!  Statically speaking, by 27 years old every good potential married mate is already taken and you start to get into the idiots that got married at 21 and 22 years old, who are now getting divorced. Yuck!  Who wants a used partner! Not you.  Here’s a Pro Tip:  Lower your standards – your 25 and no one has popped the question yet – you’ve got some issues.

– Do you have sudden, intense fear of failure?  You should know this will never go away.  Well, it might go away if one of two things happen: 1. You win a large lottery ($5M+ – smaller ones will just be a tax headache and potentially still have to make you work at your young age); 2. You marry extremely rich (Which is called the Spouse Lottery – and they think it’s really for love and don’t make you sign a prenup).  And don’t believe all those crappy motivational saying about ‘The only Failure is to not Try’ – there are much bigger failures than not trying! Trying and being completely inept is a much bigger problem!  The reality is – if you do absolutely nothing 99% of decisions will make themselves and you don’t have to take the blame! (Pro Tip #2)

Quarter-Life Crisis…

 

 

 

HR Announces – ‘We’re Out of Ideas’

Posted on by
7

Recently the crew at FOT has been having some conversations about what’s new in HR.  It use to be all you had to do was show up at a HR conference and listen to someone from Zappos, Google, Sodexo, etc. to find out what were the latest and greatest happenings going on in HR!  But no more – it seems like HR is in a dead period of new ideas!  I blame the recession – why wouldn’t I – the ‘Great Recession’ gets blamed for everything – might as well take some HR heat!   Nobody at FOT could really come up with any ideas that were new.  But thankfully the good HR folks at Google came through one more idea, but I don’t how new it is…

From Quartz – Google admits those infamous brainteasers were completely useless for hiring:

“Google has admitted that the headscratching questions it once used to quiz job applicants (How many piano tuners are there in the entire world? Why are manhole covers round?) were utterly useless as a predictor of who will be a good employee.

“We found that brainteasers are a complete waste of time,” Laszlo Bock, senior vice president of people operations at Google, told the New York Times. “They don’t predict anything. They serve primarily to make the interviewer feel smart…

Bock says Google now relies on more quotidian means of interviewing prospective employees, such as standardizing interviews so that candidates can be assessed consistently, and “behavioral interviewing,” such as asking people to describe a time they solved a difficult problem. It’s also giving much less weight to college grade point averages and SAT scores.”

Yes, you are reading that correctly – Google’s ‘new’ HR idea is to go retro!  Back to behavioral interviewing and standardized interview decks – hello 90’s!  Isn’t that wonderful – I can’t believe Google didn’t have someone at SHRM 13 leading a session like “Google’s Strategic HR Innovations – Just Interview Them Stupid!”  HR ladies would have packed the house to find out how they to could jump into the 90’s.  Also, let’s just come right out corporately and validate to all those kids in college – you’re just wasting your time and spending your parents retirement.  I’ve really never been so excited for our industry!

So, I would like to take it upon myself and the entire HR community to let the world know – HR is out of ideas!

Here’s were we/HR stand:

– Still need to hire people

– Still need to train our employees

– Still need to provide benefits and pay administration

– Still planning the company picnic, and/or ‘holiday party

Long live HR.

The Myth of Being a Highly Selective Employer

Posted on by
2

We all think it, don’t we?  We all want to believe in this notion that we only hire the best and brightest – we only hire quality.  We are ‘highly’ selective.

We’ll show our executives really cool data that shows how ‘highly’ selective we are.  Number of applicants per hire – 25,000 people applied for this position and we only took the best 1!

I read something interesting recently from Time magazine and college admissions at highly selective colleges – think Harvard, Yale, MIT, etc.  Schools that are super hard to get into because of how selective they are – much like your hiring process of your organization. From the Time’s article:

“What many parents and students don’t realize is that increasing numbers of applications isn’t necessarily a sign that it’s harder to get into a selective school; rather, it’s a sign of changes in behavior among high school seniors. More and more people who aren’t necessarily qualified are applying to top schools, inflating the application numbers while not seriously impacting admissions. In fact, it has arguably become easier to get into a selective school, though it may be harder to get into a particular selective school…

The most recent study available from the National Association for College Admission Counseling shows that between 2010 and 2011 (the most recent years available), the percentage of students applying to at least three colleges rose from 77% to 79% and the percentage of students applying to at least seven colleges rose from 25% to 29%. In 2000, only 67% of students applied to three or more colleges, while 12% applied to seven or more.

The net effect of this behavior is to create an illusion of increased selectivity. Especially at the most selective schools, an increase in applications generally leads to the acceptance of a smaller percentage of the students who apply. However, students who meet the academic and extracurricular thresholds to qualify for competitive schools will still get into a selective college; it’s just less likely that they’ll get into a specific competitive college. These schools work hard to not admit students who won’t attend;  the acceptance rate and the matriculation rate (the percentage of accepted students who attend) are key measures in many college ranking methodologies, so both admitting too many students and admitting students who don’t attend can hurt a college’s ranking.”

An illusion of increased selectivity…You see, just because you turn down a high number of candidates doesn’t make you more selective – it makes you popular.  Too many organizations, and HR departments, are marketing that they are highly selective based on some simple numbers that give an illusion of being highly selective, when in reality, they’re just good at processing a high number of applicants – but not really being ‘more’ selective.  Just because you turn down 24,999 candidates doesn’t make you selective – it just means you have a high number of applicants.

So what does make you selective?  Quality of hire – which I can argue is another very subjective metric in most organizations – but at least it’s a start.  Can you demonstrate with real measurable items that the applicants you’re hiring are better or getting better than those previously?  This creates a real evidence that you’re becoming ‘more’ selective and on your way to becoming ‘highly’ selective.

2013 Grads – Here’s some advice from HR

Posted on by
2

It’s that time of year when college and universities around the world will release onto us the great minds of the 2013 graduate class.  This always makes me think of the popular advice – Wear Sunscreen:

While this advice might be from 1999 – it still rings true today – but like everything else in the world this can be added to and expanded.  Here are my additions to the advice above for the 2013 grads from an HR Pro – listen up:

– Don’t buy into the fact that a paper resume is no longer needed.  Most people who are making hiring decisions are old – they like paper to hold onto while they asked you pointless questions that will tell them nothing about what you can do as an entry level candidate, it makes them feel comfortable.  White paper and black ink – don’t get creative – old people don’t like creative.

– Have a story when interviewing.  In almost every single interview process you’ll get a moment to tell your story.  People will hire your story, not your skills – because you don’t have any skills, but you might have a story.

– Over dress for your interview.  While you might feel out of place to their business casual, it shows people that you care about your appearance and that you’re trying to get this job.  They’ll laugh about you after, but they also appreciate the effort.  Don’t wear your Dad’s suit – that’s tacky – unless your Dad has extraordinary taste and wears your size.

– Don’t go to work if you’re not ready to go to work.  You can be young and poor only once in your life.  Then you get older.  Being older and poor, sucks.  Being young and poor is like being in college without classes.

– Big companies are cool for your resume, but do very little to teach you anything about running a business.  A small company will let you do more than you should.  Both experiences are valuable – don’t think one is more important than the other.  Too many new grads think big firm experience is key to success and crap on smaller companies – those people miss out and what it really takes to be an executive in the future.

–  If someone at your first job offers you a chance to get together after work as friends (drinks, softball, coffee, movie, etc.), do it – unless they’re creepy.  Having strong work relationships will move you forward in your career faster than your skills will.

–  Learn how to drink in moderation.  You’re not in college anymore and when you drink with work associates you need to be able to have a drink or two and be good.  Don’t become the office story about what not to do.  If you do by chance do this – find another job – you will never outlive this story.

– Don’t be the weird person in your office.  How do you know if you’re the weird person?  Do others invite you to lunch, or do you invite yourself?  Do people stop by your cube, or are you always stopping by everyone’s cube?  Corporate success depends on your ability to fit into the culture.  Companies like inclusion, as long as you fit into the ‘inclusion’ they’ve decided for their organization.

Good Luck 2013 Grads!