Category Archives: Performance

Can we talk about the Kevin Hart Academy Award thing!?

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If you haven’t seen or heard, comedian Kevin Hart was asked to host the Oscars. It’s a big deal for an entertainer to get that gig, 25-30 million viewers big! After it was announced, some news outlets ran some stories about some homophobic tweets that Kevin did in 2009, 2010, and 2012.

The tweets are definitely insensitive. If you had an employee sending out those tweets, you would have a problem on your hands. Kevin is a comedian, and he truly believes he was being funny. He hasn’t sent tweets like that for the last five+ years.

The Academy asked Kevin to apologize. Kevin said he already apologized for those tweets and that is old business. The Academy said apologize or step down. He stepped down. He then went on Instagram and explained himself and why he wasn’t apologizing –

“I chose to pass, I passed on the apology. The reason why I passed is that I’ve addressed this several times. This is not the first time this has come up, I’ve addressed it. I’ve spoken on it.”

Hollywood Reporter did a poll of over 2200 adults and asked what they thought and here were some of the results:

  • 42% of viewed Hart as favorable, 14% viewed the Academy as favorable. (the rest in the middle)
  • 56 percent of respondents agreed with the statement, “An old social media post does not represent the person who posted it and has no influence on my opinion of someone.”
  •  44 percent agreed with the sentiment, “Social media posts are a form of expression and influence my opinion of someone regardless of how old the post is.”

GLAAD president and CEO Sarah Kate Ellis said of Hart’s stepping down, “Hart’s apology to LGBTQ people is an important step forward, but he missed a real opportunity to use his platform and the Oscars stage to build unity and awareness.” I agree with Ellis, I would have loved to see Kevin come on and use his humor and influence to show people who he truly is and what he stands for.

This is some real life stuff.

We have employees. We have friends. We have family. We ourselves have said things and posted things for any number of reasons that we might probably don’t stand behind, but it catches up to us and now someone makes to make a big deal about it. There is a ton of learning here. I love comedy! I can put what a comedian says in the context that it’s a joke and it might be 100% the opposite of what they truly believe.

There’s a big part about Comedy is about pushing the line of what we feel is acceptable. We hear someone say something on a comedy stage that you would never hear in public and shock and awkwardness makes you laugh, not necessarily because you believe the statement, but because of how ludicrous it is.

What Kevin Hart does on Twitter is very different from what we see from other non-comedians on social media. That’s a huge difference, but Kevin doing it makes some feel they can do it. Again, it’s been a long while since he’s done this, and I think the Academy was wrong in not standing behind Kevin and saying, “Kevin has addressed these past tweets and apologized in the past, we won’t ask him to do that again, the Kevin we know and love is a man of…” That’s all that had to happen, and all of this would have gone away.

I think he and the Academy missed an opportunity to speak about this on one of the largest stages around. To bring awareness to a subject that hurts many people. 14 and 15-year-old boys still use “gay” as a negative when joking candidly with their friends because they don’t hear from people like Kevin Hart saying that it’s not a negative. Finding ways to make jokes using negative phrases and turning them into positive phrases, and yes it can be done and it can be funny.

I do not think something you posted on social media should follow you around for years if you’ve addressed and apologized for it, but it does, and it will. The cost of education at every age is super expensive. Kevin found out how expensive it can be at a very high level.

What do you think?

The 12 Steps of a Recovery Passionate A**hole!

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I wrote a post a while back titled, “The 5 Things HR Leaders Need to Know About Developing Employees“. In that post I had a paragraph:

When I was young in my career, I was very ‘passionate’. That’s what I liked calling it – passionate.  I think the leaders I worked with called it, “career derailer”.  It took a lot for me to understand what I thought was a strength, was really a major weakness.  Some people never will gain this insight.  They’ll continue to believe they’re just passionate when in reality they’re really just an asshole.

I then had a reader send me a message and basically said, “This is me!” And I was like, “That was me too!” And then we kissed. Okay, we didn’t kiss, but it’s great to find another like yourself in the wild!

The reality is, I’m a recovering Passionate Asshole.

What’s a “Passionate Asshole” who are asking yourself? Here’s my definition. A passionate asshole is a person who feels like they are more about the success of the company than anyone else. I mean everyone else. They care more than everyone! And because we care so much, we treat people poorly who we feel don’t care as much as us!

Passionate assholes truly believe in every part of their being they’re great employees. You will not be able to tell us any different. They are usually high performing in their jobs, which also justifies even more that they care more. But, in all of this, they leave a wake of bad feelings and come across like your everyday basic asshole.

You know at least one of these people. They’re usually younger in the 24-35-year-old range. Too early in their career to have had some major setbacks and high in confidence in their abilities.

Here are the 12 Steps of Recovery for Passionate Assholes:

Step 1: Realization that your an Asshole, not the best employee ever hired in the history of the universe. This realization doesn’t actually fix the passionate asshole, but without it, you have no chance.

Step 2: You understand that while being a passionate asshole feels great, this isn’t going to further your career and get you to your ultimate goal.

Step 3: Professionally they have knocked down in a major way. I was fired. Not because I was doing the job, but because I was leaving a wake of bodies and destruction in the path of doing my job. You don’t have to be fired, demotion might also work, but usually, it’s getting canned.

Step 4: Some you truly respect needs to tell you-you’re not a good employee, but an asshole, during a time you’re actually listening.

Step 5: Find a leader and organization that will embrace you for who you’re trying to become, knowing who you truly are. You don’t go from Passionate Asshole to model employee overnight! It’s not a light switch.

Step 6: Time. This is a progression. You begin to realize some of your passionate asshole triggers. You begin to use your powers for good and not to blow people up who you feel aren’t worthy of oxygen. Baby steps. One day at a time.

Step 7: You stop making bad career moves based on the passionate asshole beast inside of you, telling you moving to the ‘next’ role is really the solution to what you’re feeling.

Step 8: We make a list of people we’ve destroyed while being passionate assholes. Yes, even the people you don’t like!

Step 9: Reach out to the people you’ve destroyed and make amends. Many of these people have ended up being my best professional contacts now late in life. Turns out, adults are actually pretty good a forgiving and want to establish relationships with people who are honest and have self-insight.

Step 10: We are able to tell people we’re sorry for being a passionate asshole when find ourselves being a passionate asshole, and not also seeing the passion within them and what they also bring to the organization is a value to not only us but to the organization as a whole.

Step 11: You begin to reflect, instead of reacting as a first response. Passionate assholes love to react quickly! We’re passionate, we’re ready at all times, so our initial thought is not to think, but react decisively. You’ve reached step 11 when your first thought is to no longer react like a crazy person!

Step 12: You begin to reach out to other passionate assholes and help them realize how they’re destroying their careers and don’t even know it. You begin mentoring.

I know I’ll never stop being a Passionate Asshole. It’s a personality flaw, and even when you change, you never fully change. But, I now understand when I’m being that person, can usually stop myself mid-passionate asshole blow up, and realize there are better ways to communicate and act.

Hat tip to: Kyle Brown (a fellow Self-Identified Passionate Asshole)

GM Closing Plants is Just a Good Business Decision!

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I’m in the heart of GM country! My company, HRU Technical Resources (technical staffing), has worked with GM for 38 years! I have multiple family members that have worked at and retired from GM. GM is important to me, personally!

GM closing a few plants is the right decision. This decision might cost my company business and that will hurt.

President Trump can get really worked up over it and try to shame the GM executive team into changing their mind. The UAW can get all worked up and claim it’s the worst thing ever, but the reality is GM has to make the right business decision for the health of all GM employees for the future, not just for today.

In the past, GM wouldn’t have made this decision. They would have kept plants open and kept building cars that weren’t selling. The President would be happy. The UAW would be happy. And ultimately the U.S. Taxpayers bailed them out of bankruptcy. This time around GM, and their CEO Mary Barra, is making the sound financial, and very difficult, decision to close plants that aren’t making it.

Bravo, Mary Barra!

I feel for the UAW members who will be affected. I feel for the GM salaried employees who will be affected. It’s a horrible thing to lose a job and I don’t wish that upon anyone, ever.

This is still the right decision, as it will make the company stronger long-term and protect those jobs of the thousands of other UAW and GM salaried employees. You can’t keep building cars and trying to sell products that no one wants. GM doens’t do small cars as well as some of their competitors. Maybe never have. If you want a small/mid-sized car in the U.S. you buy a Toyota Camry or Honda Accord, or maybe even a Hyundai. The numbers don’t lie.

Every organization has to make unpopular and painful decisions to protect their business and help it thrive.

“Well, GM is going to profit $5 Billion in 2018, smarty pants, what about that!?!?!”

Yep, they are. That’s what a strong business is supposed to do, make a profit. All the stakeholders of a business demand it! Those stakeholders of GM are: UAW members, salaried GM employees, GM shareholders, GM supplier base, GM retirees, etc.  We’re talking hundreds of millions of lives that rely on GM being successful.

Healthy organizations go through times of growth and times of contraction. You have a product that is taking off, you add employees to meet market demand. Those products go out of favor and you reduce your employees base to meet that lack of demand. If you don’t, you go out of business and ALL employees and stakeholders suffer.

Mary Barra is making the tough decisions that her male predecessors were unwilling to make. Let that sink in a minute. Sure GM has closed plants in the past, but that was usually the last thing that happened, and only after they spent years burning cash and pushing forward no matter what the market was telling them.

So, yeah, this hurts. Closing plants and terminating people hurts. This is a strong business move, and it’s the right call for GM. Mary will be unpopular, but she’s doing what is needed for the whole, not the few.

I had a wise mentor once ask me a question. “Tim, do you want your team to throw you a party?” I didn’t understand. “Well, if you do want every employee wants, they’ll love you, and when you get fired, they’ll throw you a big party down at the local pub for your going away! If you do what’s right, they won’t like you as much, and they won’t throw you a party, because you won’t get fired. So, do you want a party or not?”

Mary doesn’t want a party, she just wants to do what’s best for everyone.

Snow Days and Employees!

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Look I get it.  I have 3 sons and Snow Days are a big deal…if you’re 10!   So, if you’re an HR Pro, right about this time tomorrow, you’re going to feel like you have an entire organization full of 10-year-olds,  as we begin to see the first signs of Snowmageddon!

I understand people freaking out, that is, if you live in someplace south of the Mason-Dixon line, and you’ve never seen snow before. But, I live in Michigan and it snows here. The snow starts around Halloween and ends around Easter.  What I don’t understand is anyone that lives north of, let’s say, Chicago is even blinking an eye at a snow storm coming.  Let it snow, clear your driveway and get your butt to work.

It’s not a difficult concept! No, I don’t want you to drive to a client if the roads are dangerous, and, no, I don’t want you to drive to work if the roads are dangerous, and, no, I don’t want you to run around the office with scissors and your shoes untied!  But I do expect, we’ll all be adults.

If it looks like there’s going to be a lot of snow tomorrow, you need to make a plan. How about packing some work to do from home, or just plan on watching Lifetime all day, because I completely understand you missing the 3 days’ of warning that the snow was coming! (he screamed to himself in a mocking voice…)

Snow Days are the kind of crap that drives HR and Leadership completely insane!

Why is it, the CEO finds his way into the office, driving his Lexus sedan, but Perry in IT just can’t seem to get his 4X4Chevy Tahoe out of the garage?   If you want a day off that damn bad, take a day off,  but don’t insult the intelligence of all those who found a way to come in.

Be sensible, give your local snow plows some time to clear roads, give yourself extra time to get to work, but at the very least give it a shot. Then, when you get stuck, take a picture with your phone and send it to your boss, they’ll appreciate the effort!

Why are you scared to make HR simple?

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Have you ever wondered why HR Departments continue to make complex processes?  In reality, all of us wants things simple.  But, when you look at our organizations they are filled with complexity.  It seems like the more we try to make things simple, the more complex they get.  You know what?  It’s you – it’s not everyone else.  You are making things complex, and you’re doing this because it makes you feel good.

From Harvard Business Review:

“There are several deep psychological reasons why stopping activities are so hard to do in organizations. First, while people complain about being too busy, they also take a certain amount of satisfaction and pride in being needed at all hours of the day and night. In other words, being busy is a status symbol. In fact a few years ago we asked senior managers in a research organization — all of whom were complaining about being too busy — to voluntarily give up one or two of their committee assignments. Nobody took the bait because being on numerous committees was a source of prestige.

Managers also hesitate to stop things because they don’t want to admit that they are doing low-value or unnecessary work. Particularly at a time of layoffs, high unemployment, and a focus on cost reduction, managers want to believe (and convince others) that what they are doing is absolutely critical and can’t possibly be stopped. So while it’s somewhat easier to identify unnecessary activities that others are doing, it’s risky to volunteer that my own activities aren’t adding value. After all, if I stop doing them, then what would I do?”

That’s the bad news.  You have deep psychological issues.  Your spouse already knew that about you.

The good news is, you can stop it!  How?  Reward people for eliminating worthless work.  Right now we reward people who are working 70 hours per week and always busy and we tell people “Wow! Look at Tim he’s a rock star – always here, always working!”  Then someone in your group goes, “Yeah, but Tim is an idiot, I could do his job in 20 hours per week, if…”  We don’t reward the 20-hour guy, we reward the guy working 70 hours, even if he doesn’t have to.

Somewhere in our society – the ‘working smarter’ analogy got lost or turned into ‘work smarter and longer’.  The reality is most people don’t have the ability to work smarter, so they just work longer and make everything they do look ‘Really’ important!   You just thought of someone in your organization, when you read that, didn’t you!?  We all have them – you can now officially call them ‘psychos’ – since they do actually have a “deep psychological” reasons for doing what they’re doing – Harvard said so!

I love simple.  I love simple HR.  I love simple recruiting.  I hate HR and Talent Pros that make things complex, because I know they have ‘deep psychological’ issues!  Please go make things simple today!

I’m Addicted to Hustle Porn!

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You follow Gary Vee on Instagram, right? I mean he’s just a truth teller! I don’t go to church, but I do watch Gary Vee videos any time I really need something from a higher power! (My friend Connie Costigan just threw up in her mouth a little – she can’t stand Gary!)

Gary Vee is probably the king of Hustle Porn! He’s made himself extremely rich out making people believe all you need to do, to become successful, is outhustle and outwork the next person. I actually believe this concept, but only if you already have a number of other things, like a brain, a decent reputation, the ability to connect with people, some sort of skills, etc.

All things being close to equal, outhustling and outworking your competition will push you over the top more times than not.

So, what’s Hustle Porn?

Hustle Porn is the concept that people put out on social media about how hard they are hustling always. It’s that Instagram photo at midnight of you still in the office all dark, except your laptop screen going with your latest project. Basically, projecting that you’re successful because you’re working late into the night.

Hustle Porn is basically the same thing as Crossfit Porn, Gluten-free Porn, etc. For most people it has nothing to do with reality, it’s all a mirage, but what it’s doing is making us all believe we have to do these things to be successful. You always have to be on! I work 24/7/365! I never turn it off! If I’m not putting in 100 hours per week, I just don’t feel fulfilled! You know what I’m talking about, this porn gets thrown at us constantly!

Reddit’s Alexis Ophanian came out this week and called Hustle Porn the most toxic and dangerous things in technology, in regards to the tech work environment:

“This is one of the most toxic, dangerous things in tech right now,” he says. “This idea that unless you are suffering, grinding working every hour of every day, you’re not working hard enough.”

“It’s such bulls—, such utter bulls—.”

Ohanian is referring to the fetishization of extremely long work hours, typically by entrepreneurs or tech workers, who give up nights and weekends to code their software or build their businesses.

What do I think? 

I think Alexis is a whiny, rich, child!

No one told Alexis he had to work 100 hours a week to make his dreams come true. No one tells any of us that we have to work 100 hours per week to make our dreams come true.

But, guess what? It takes a lot of f’ing work to make your dreams come true!

Do you hear Bill Gates go, “Oh, I wish I would have worked less on Microsoft!” No. Did you hear Steve Jobs go, “Oh, if really regret all the time I put into Apple to make it successful!” No! There work is their passion, so they wanted to put that time in to make successful. In fact, if you asked them if they would do it all again, they would!

Building a successful business is the American Dream. American Dreams don’t happen if you work 9 to 5 pm. Sorry, that sucks, but’s it’s mostly true! Hard work doesn’t always guarantee success, but it delivers more success than average work. You will almost never find anyone go, “yeah, well you know, I just showed up to work each and did my 40 hours and that’s when it all came together and I became super successful!”

I don’t have any problem with people wanting and believing they need to work harder than everyone else to become successful. Very few will do it, in reality. It’s not for everyone. The majority of people will work a normal job, collect a check, have other things in their life, and complain about some rich prick who has everything and they don’t understand why. But, those same people will never put in the work. The real work. The hard work. The long work.

The world needs ditch diggers. The world needs cashiers. Accountants. Lawyers. Doctors. Teachers. Engineers, etc. The world also needs those crazy entrepreneurs who will work ungodly hours for years trying to make their dream come true.

My issue with Hustle Porn is when you see idiots masking as hustlers when you know the truth! They throw up that IG photo of them flying on Sunday and they think somehow they’re a superhero because they flew out on personal time to make a Monday morning meeting in another city. Welcome to the show idiot, you’re not a superhero, that’s life!

The real hustlers don’t have to show how hard they’re working, what they will produce, will tell their hustle story.

The Newest Leadership Concept that will take 2019 by Storm: “Sunshining”!

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Have you heard of “Sunshining“? I’m guessing most of us haven’t. I came from Reed Hastings the CEO at Netflix. Netflix has a really transparent work environment and Reed and his executive team has started telling employees exactly why someone has been fired. They call these talks “Sunshining”!

It’s not just about explaining why someone got fired, it could be about almost anything. This radical transparency is part of Netflix’s unique culture and employee experience. If you have a question about anything, you’re encouraged to ask out in the open, and leadership is encouraged to welcome these discussions, even those that might be taboo in most company cultures:

In one “sunshining” scene described by the Journal, former talent chief Tawni Nazario-Cranz was asked by Hastings in front of dozens of executives why she paid for some of her team’s makeup and hair styling ahead of a company launch event. Nazario-Cranz said that if a manager took employees to a golf outing it wouldn’t be questioned, which led to a debate about “gender equity,” one person in attendance told the paper.

Employees are also encouraged to review each other and share feedback with their teams. There are”real-time 360″ lunches and dinners for feedback and criticism, with one former executive saying the pressure to participate was the “hardest part about the culture.”

 

Can you imagine sitting down in front of a department of employees and saying, “Hey, everyone, you all know Tim, your boss, well, I just fired Tim because Tim quite frankly wasn’t getting the results we hired him to get. Tim is right here, right now. Let’s discuss!”

 

Um, what!?! “Yeah, hey guys, let me wipe the tears away from my eyes, I’m still in a bit of shock, I guess I’m most concerned with how I’m going to pay my mortgage and tell my partner I just got fired, but what would you like to know?”

 

Holy crap! That could not happen, ever! Unless you had this culture of ongoing performance feedback and accountability where it was 100% out in the open that this was happening and there was no ill will. Even then, I’m still skeptical! I mean, I’m willing to sit down as a fired employee and talk to the troops if Reed is giving a giant parachute! “Oh, yeah, hey guys, I just lost my job, but I’m fine, I’m thinking of taking a couple of years off to pet puppies or something!”

 

Do you think your company culture could handle this right now?

 

I’m doubtful, primarily because this isn’t something you can just turn on and the next day start doing it. This is a fairly radical cultural shift to even open up and be that transparent across the organization. I think most of us would tell ourselves we would love to work in that type of environment until the mirror is turned on ourselves!

 

That’s a tough leadership environment to be a part of for sure!

 

What didn’t make it through Netflix’s leadership team? 

 

Having employees see each other’s salary! Reed wanted to open this up, the rest of the leadership shot this down:

 

Starting last year, Netflix allowed any executive above the director level to see the salaries of all employees, a decision that, like most of those detailed by the Journal, received mixed reviews from the people interviewed. In the case of employee pay, some said it led to awkwardness, while others said it encouraged people making less money to try and get raises. However, Netflix executives recently shot down an effort by Hastings to allow any employee to see the pay of any colleague, regardless of rank, the paper said.

 

I think that’s a giant step of any organization, but it’s probably the one step that needs to happen to fix gender pay inequality for good!

Using Email Activity as a Performance Metric!

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So, the other day I was reading this article by Josh Bersin. You know Josh, right? Bersin by Deloitte, big time voice in the HR Industry for decades. Josh might be one of the most recognizable thought leaders in our space. He recently left Deloitte and is back on his own. Josh has forgotten more about HR than I’ve ever known.

I’ve probably met Josh personally 15 times. Sat at dinner with him one night, at an industry event, for about 3 hours and had some really good conversation. Just saw him at LinkedIn’s Talent Connect as I was coming off the live stream and he was coming on, went to say “hello” and he looked at me as if I was about to mug him! LOL! I think he legitimately thought I was coming to ask for his autograph! Turns out, I know Josh, way more than Josh knows me! That’s okay, he’s still brilliant.

The article is titled: “What Emails Reveal About Your Performance At Work”:

After analyzing months of communication patterns using messaging metadata (data about the messages, not the messages themselves), the company can now statistically prove that certain types of communication behavior directly correlates to business performance. In fact, using employee communication data with a Deep Learning Model, Genpact can predict “Rockstar” performers with 74% accuracy. (This process works for emails, slack messages, skype messages, etc.)…

What did they find? The highest performing leaders use simpler words to communicate, they respond faster, and they communicate more often. In other words, they are more engaged, more efficient, and more action-oriented.

Now there’s a ton of data science that comes into play to get to this outcome. I’ve written about the power of Microsoft’s Workplace Analytics using data to help organizations and individuals improve their performance by analyzing how we work, and this is basically doing the same thing.

How do you improve your performance through email?

1. Respond quickly to messages.

2. Use language everyone can understand.

Let’s unpack those two things a bit because it sounds way too simple to actually work!

When you respond quickly to any kind of messaging a person has sent you it triggers a couple of things. One, the person who sent the message feels validated that not only did you get the message, but you thought ‘they’ were important enough for a quick response back. Don’t discount the impact that has on your influence at a larger level.

Two, a quick response shows the people you are communicating back to that you’re on top of your stuff. When you get a response to a message you sent from three days ago, I assume that person is way over their head. Look, I asked if you were interested in doing this thing or not. It’s a seven-second response, just respond, it’s not difficult!

Using simple, straightforward language ensures that everyone on the message can be crystal clear about what the message was about. Nothing was vague or left to interpretation. “No, I will not attend this meeting. Instead, Sandy will be coming as she is the one who has the data you need, and my full support on any decisions that need to be made.” Bam! Done. Simple.

Sometimes I think we overcomplicate what really good performance looks like. Turns out if respond quickly and make sure people understand you, you meet a couple of really important qualifications to becoming a strong leader!

Also, go connect with Josh Bersin and tell him Tim said “Hello!”

“Self-Insight” Might Be the Most Undervalued Personal Core Competency!

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I was having a conversation recently with a peer. We were discussing a company with a dynamic leader. The company seemed like it had every single attribute to make it successful. Smart and dynamic leader, great product, great design, female, minority, but they were having a hard raising capital.

My first reaction was, something isn’t right! Why can’t this company raise capital? I mean VC will give cash to a four-year-old who built something that looked like something out of legos if they think they can make a buck on it! There’s so much VC money flowing into HR tech right now, people are getting money for just having ideas about products!

There’s the obvious VC bias towards both females and minorities. So, it’s easy for me to just go “holy crap” I’m seeing this live right in front of me! But the person I was talking to was a female and a minority, and she was saying, ‘slow down’ that’s not the issue here!

“She’s crazy, Tim!” 

Um, what? She seems super intelligent and the product is solid and I would give my own money to that company right now, it can’t fail. “No, she’s f’ing nuts!” 

Okay, so does she know she’s nuts? “Nope. That’s the problem! Super brilliant, but she has this blind spot where she’ll go off the rails and literally treat potential investors and even customers like crap. If she would just get out of her own way, that’s a potential hundred million dollar company.” 

Sounds like she needs a mentor. “Yeah, she thinks anyone who talks to her is below her, and they might be in terms of intelligence, but she refuses most advice. Anyone else pitching that product would have millions in backing at this point, with others waiting in line to get a piece.”  

After this conversation, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. First, I thought, what if this female was a male and acted crazy like this? Would “he” get the investment dollars? I think he probably would. What if it was me, a white guy up there, acting crazy, would I get the money? Probably, I would. So, I was pained to think this bias is real, regardless, but this person had a real viable product (and God knows I see so many that aren’t!).

I was raised by a very strong, single Mother, who had a tendency to be a bit crazy, so I know a thing or two about strong, aggressive entrepreneurial women. I grew up with one my entire life! The lack of self-insight is both a gift and a curse. With it and you might not go down the path of starting your own business against all odds. Without it, you potentially can’t your ideas out to the world.

When you take a look at the most successful people you know they have found the balance of self-insight in their life. A person with high self-insight knows when to listen to it, and when to ignore it. It’s a super fine line to walk, but it’s critical for success.

Co-Managing with an A–hole!

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In the modern work world, we are often tasked as leaders to co-lead, co-manage a team, a function, a location, etc. The challenges to this are many, but none is more difficult when you have to do that and the other person is a complete a-hole!

What I find is that most a-holes have no idea they’re an a-hole, or they know they’re an a-hole but some broke in their brain to make them believe their actually a better person/leader as an a-hole versus a normal person.

What are the jerk, a-hole leader behaviors? Being condescending to the employees they lead. Talking behind the back of those they lead to others on the team that are a peer of that person. Not supporting their co-leader on things that were previously agreed to, etc. You know what I’m talking about!

I’m lucky that I haven’t had this issue for a while but I see it happen all the time in organizations I support, and it’s one of the most talked about issues I hear from friends and peers that work in corporate gigs. Here’s some of my advice for co-managing with an a-hole:

– A–holes hate being put in a box. Put them in a box. Get agreements on things, then get written confirmation of those agreements. I find a-hole leaders will work not to confirm via email or written communication, especially if they don’t really agree with the direction and plan to screw you later!

– Always stay above the line in front of those who report to you and your peers. “Above the line” means you never allow yourself to do or have the same bad behaviors as your co-manager. You take the high road, always. Trust me, in the end, you’ll benefit greatly from this!

– Be brutally honest in your assessment of your a-hole co-manager. I find most a-hole leaders are never told by a peer that they’re being an a-hole with real specific examples. Most if told, will actually try to change those behaviors. Some are truly just a-holes and they won’t change, but it will make you feel better to address it. Also, don’t stop addressing it! Every time it happens, call them out. That is actually an “above the line” behavior by you calling them out!

As a leader dealing with this situation will probably be the most challenging you’ll have in your career, but ignoring it, complaining to your boss, to matching their behavior are all losing propositions that take your career nowhere.

I love killing a-holes with kindness! It doesn’t happen often to them, they are used to getting the opposite reaction from their behavior, so extreme kindness to them really throws them off guard and unsettles them which can be quite funny!