Category Archives: Things

The Best Sports Related Job Ever!

Posted on by
Reply

Do you know what the ingredients are to the best sports related job ever?

1. Basketball

2. The 5th Richest person in the world

3. Beautiful weather, water and beaches

4. A Gigantic Yacht with a basketball court on it.

Mix all that together and you get one of the best jobs ever invented!   Pulled directly from the critically, award winning, Wall Street Journal:

The Oracle chief has had basketball courts on at least two of his yachts, said Tom Ehman, who handles America’s Cup matters for Mr. Ellison. He said Mr. Ellison liked to relax by shooting hoops, and has had someone in a powerboat following the yacht to retrieve balls that go overboard.

Mr. Ellison, is Larry Ellison, co-founder of Oracle, and 5th richest person in the world, worth about $48 Billion.  Larry likes basketball, a lot.  Likes to shoot hoops on his yachts.  For those who have ever shot hoops, the ball tends to bounce off the rim and backboard when you miss.  For those who yacht.  Those tend to be on Oceans, or big bodies of water.  So, when you mix those two together, you would suspect you’re going to have some basketballs go ‘into the pond’ every once in a while.

Now, with $48 Billion, Larry could probably just forget about any basketballs that went over board and just keep using new balls.  The problem is, having a couple dozen basketballs go overboard every time you play, might bring some unwanted attention on your from those who are environmentally conscience.  But, don’t fret, there is an easy solution.  Pay some dude to follow you’re yacht in a smaller boat and pick up those wayward balls!

That my friends is the best Sports Related Job ever!  On a boat all day, warm sun, cool drinks, picking up a few basketballs every once in a while.  I don’t think I could ever create a better summer job, ever!

You know the boat you’re picking up basketballs with is top notch.  You don’t have a piece of crap follow around a $200M yacht.  You’re probably outfitted in some cool uniform.  Paid lunches, delivered out on the water.  Great tan.  Good music.  Absolutely, no stress.  You’re getting paid well.  The guy has $48B and is asking you to retrieve basketballs for G*d’s sake! Where do I sign up?  I would do that job in a second, and would be the best ever at it!  No one would ever be better than me picking up basketballs in the ocean.  I really think I could retire from that job.

Just mark this down as crap you’ll never understand because you’ll never have $48B.

(Hat tip to Daniel Savich for passing the article on to me, and having the great boss who ever lived!)

30,000 Days

Posted on by
4

I had something happen to me recently that was really just one more reminder that life can change in an instant.  It seems like life has a way of trying to shake us awake and bring your focus back to what’s really important, when we start to focus on things that really aren’t that important.

Here’s the deal.  If we are lucky we each have about 30,000 days to live.  (I’ll wait, go ahead and do the math…) Welcome back. 30,000 days seems like a lot of days.  The thing is that 30,000 number is really best case scenario.  Many will not make it to 30,000, and those that do, I can’t tell you those 30,000+ days will be your best days.

So, what are you doing with your 30,000 days?

I won’t say I’ve wasted 16,000 already, because I’ve done some pretty remarkable things.  I’ve got a great wife. Three great kids.  A solid career.  It’s taken all of those 16,000 days to get to this point.

Here’s what I’ve learned to this point in my 30,000 days:

– I’ve stopped valuing how valuable each day is.  I mean, I value all that I have and my life, but it gets lost on the daily basis of life.  I get big picture, small picture over takes it constantly.

– I don’t enjoy the things I enjoy, enough.  I have enjoyment, but if I only have 30,000 days, I should be enjoying those things more.

– I don’t spend enough time with those I love.  In the end I won’t cry over not being able to work another minute.  I will cry over not having another second with those I love.

My guess is many of us will have the three things above in common.  Many of us are in this race of life.  Until we realize we are just racing to the end. At which point, you’ll go, oh wait a freaking minute, I don’t want to win this race!  Go ahead, I’ll catch up later!

This doesn’t mean I want to sell off all my worldly possession and walk the earth like Caine from Kung Fu (look it up Millenials).  I don’t.  I like my stuff!  It helps me enjoy my life.  I like my work.  I like to play more than work (my guess is that’s 99.9% of the world!).  This isn’t about balance.  30,000 days doesn’t care about your stupid balance.  It’s a clock, and it’s ticking.

In my 30,000 days I want to leave the world a better place than when I arrived.  To each of us that means something different.  One person might want to care for sick kids. One might want to change our environment. One might want to help homeless. I’ve decided I want to leave the world 3 young men who will create a legacy of their own.  Three men who will take my vision one step further and help to leave the world a little better as well.  If I spend my 30,000 days being the best Dad possible, I think I’ll feel content that I spend my 30,000 days pretty well.

What are you going to do with what’s left of your 30,000 days?

7 Things I Wouldn’t Do To Get A Job

Posted on by
Reply

(I’m on vacation, I originally posted this in 2009 – except for #7, that’s new, not the feeling but to this post!)

A Wall Street Journal article, by Joann S. Lublin, raised the question: “What won’t you do for a Job?”  Which got me thinking about what are those things I wouldn’t do for a job.  First, I had to set some parameters around the question:

1. Not just any job (I can get any job) but a really good job.  You know the one: your career Camelot – great pay, benefits, work, boss, co-workers – plus you’re out by 4pm everyday!  Or whatever it is that is your perfect combination of factors for the perfect job.

2. Also, I can’t go to prison for what I would do – I’m short and soft – meaning, I’m fairly certain I would end up someone’s wife in prison.

With the parameters set, the question really set me free to think about what I wouldn’t do for the “perfect” career opportunity.  So, I’ll give you the short list:

 1. I won’t kill anyone in my immediate family (wife and 3 sons), everyone else is open season. (probably goes back to the prison thing – I’m soft, plus my grandma would hate it if I got sent to prison and I really love her.).

2.  I won’t eat bugs or cauliflower (yes, I consider them the same food group).

3.  I won’t work for free.  Everyone has a price and mine is above “Free”!  Plus, I work for free enough in my current job as Headhunter!

4. I  won’t stay past 5pm (or any other arbitrary time), just because my boss stays past 5pm because he doesn’t have a life and thinks everyone should stay past 5, or they’re not dedicated or hard working.

5.  I won’t allow my opinions to be squelched by the man! (oh wait, yes I will, but it will cost them!)

6.  I won’t allow myself to be chased around my desk and sexually harassed by my attractive, much  younger, opposite sex, boss (ok, I might, but only if my benefits pay for divorce and I get a big raise!).

7. I won’t become a University of Michigan fan.  I actually told my sons if they got a scholarship to go to UofM I would root for ‘them’, not the school, but them personally.

So, what won’t you do for the ‘perfect’ job?   Hit me in the comments and let me know…

3 Ways To Change Your Life, Overnight!

Posted on by
Reply

Yo!  I’m on vacation for the next week.  Instead of writing I’m gong to run old posts that no one read, but I thought were brilliant.  That’s the hard part because I think everything I write is brilliant.  Some of the stuff really gets well read, and some of the stuff just sits there and gets no love.  In 5 years of blog writing, I still haven’t found out why some pieces I write don’t get read!  I mean, I know why some do.

Everyone wants to read – “3 Ways To Change Your Life Overnight!”  There is this belief that idiots like me will somehow write this brilliant post with the 3 actual reasons to change your life overnight, but in reality this doesn’t exist.  But you click on it, because you’re hoping for a miracle.  I don’t have miracles, or I wouldn’t be writing blog posts.  I’d be sitting on a beach somewhere enjoying a margarita.  That’s how I believe miracles work. If I have one, it equals me sitting on a beach, drinking a margarita.

See!  I can’t solve your biggest problems overnight. I think miracles equal beaches and margaritas.  Which gets me back to the point – that’s where I’m going!  It’s a miracle!

I could actually just title every post something it’s not and it would get more clicks:

– The 1 Miracle Food That Will Melt Your Big Fat Belly!

– Get Pretty By Doing Nothing!

– Hire Brilliant People By Posting and Praying!

– Six Figure HR Jobs From Home!

– It’s Not You! It’s All Those Other Assholes!

– 6 Pack Abs, 6 Seconds Per Week!

– How To Kill A Hiring Manager and Not Get Caught!

See.  It works.  People don’t want real solutions, people want miracle solutions.  My miracle solution is: Beaches and Margaritas.

Sorry – that’s all I really have.

Until I get back from my miracle – enjoy the stuff you should have already enjoyed, but didn’t.

What Kind of Person Are You?

Posted on by
Reply

Today, is Friday March 14th.  I’m currently in Indianapolis at The Big Ten Men’s Basketball tournament with my oldest son.  We’re going to have fun.  We were given free tickets to attend from my Dad.  My Dad works in marketing and he constantly gets some pretty cool tickets for many events.  I’ve become accustom to a few things in attending events:

1. I like good seats.

2. I like to go to good events.

That causes problems because that usually means you have to pay big money in some way or another.  You either have to pay a ton for tickets, or have business connections who have access to corporate tickets.  Either way, you’re paying one way or another.

Also, when I say ‘good’ tickets, I’m not saying the tickets somewhere in the lower bowl.  I’m saying I want to be able to smell the sweat coming off the players.  I want to clearly hear every cuss word coming out of the coaches mouth as he’s yelling at the players and officials.  I want JayZ tickets.

So, here’s the kind of person I am.  I’ll sneak down to those seats if I have to.  Yep.  One of the cool things, let’s face there aren’t many, of being a middle aged white guy, no one asks you for proof when you want to go places.  “Oh, hey, Mr. Middle Aged White Guy, you must belong here, otherwise, why would a professional middle aged white guy try and sneak down to front row seats!?”  He wouldn’t! Until he does.

That’s the kind of person I am.  I’m not afraid to go sit in an open seat closer to the court.  The worse that can happen is they ask me to go back to my seat (I tell myself as I walk past the usher).  Sitting close is really cool.  I suggest you give it try, just not while I’m in the building, there are only so many seats up front.  I don’t want the competition.

That’s the kind of person I am.

It’s not a Bromance, It’s a Promance!

Posted on by
2

Bromance –

“A bromance is a close non-sexual relationship between two (or more) men, a form of affectional or homosocial intimacy. “

Basically a Bromance is two dudes who really, really like each other, but not in a romantic type of way.   It’s like girls can be ‘besties’ but guys can’t.  So, if guys are ‘besties’ and acting a little to close, they’ll be told they’re having a ‘Bromance’.

Professionally this is called a ‘Promance’.

Promance –

“A promance is close non-sexual relationship between two (or more) coworkers, a form of affectional or homosocial intimacy.”

Basically a Promance is coworkers who are best friends at work, but might not actually be that close outside the work place.  This sometimes has been called ‘Work Wife’ and/or ‘Work Husband’, but it can also between coworkers of the same sex.   The fact is we spend a great deal of time with our coworkers and become very close to many of them.  But we also have life outside of work, sometimes that includes coworkers, sometimes it does not.

Promances allow us to have close relationships with coworkers we actually like.  Promances are what keep coworkers staying at companies, sometimes, far longer than they would have if no promance was in place.  It also causes multiple coworkers to leave, or follow, each other to other companies.  “My promance just got a job at Ford, I’m going to follow her over there, we work great with each other!”

The cool thing about Promances is that they’re really only defined by work hours.  There is no expectation from a promance that you’ll actually communicate outside of work hours, and no one feels slighted by this!  It’s like the relationship you always wished you could have with everyone! “So, you mean like when we’re together we can be totally cool and hangout and just be great, but when we aren’t together neither one of us is going to feel an obligation towards communicating with the other!? Okay, I’m in!”

There is a fine line that you have to be careful with, as Promance can turn into a Bromance if you’re not careful.  It usually starts with happy hour or the company softball team, and quickly begins to spiral out of control.  It’s when boundaries of work hours no longer matter, and you begin to spend non-work hours with your Promance.  Many times this becomes too much.  All of sudden you’ll find yourself sitting on your coach on a Sunday night watching a game and saying things like “okay, I’ll see you in the morning at work” and realizing you’ve never stopped seeing that person, ever!

I love Promances.  I’ve got a wife and three sons, very full out of work life.  Promances are perfect for me.  I can have all of these relationships at work, and go home and not have those relationships interfere with my home relationships.  It’s truly the best of both worlds!

The Ghost of Athlete Past

Posted on by
2

I have three sons.  Two of whom are current high school athletes having successful high school careers.  Both have potential to move onto college and play the sport they want, if they choose that is the path they want to take.  Both are considered very hard working kids in their sports by their coaches and teammates.  They get that from their Mom, I was more of a gamer type.  Their Mom was the type of player other teammates hated playing against in practice because she never took a play off.  It made her very successful as a college athlete.  She has passed this down to our sons.  I’m grateful.

You see, anyone who has been around high school athletics will recognize this, not all kids give their all.  Many times you have kids on these teams with super high potential and athletic ability who seem to just piss it away for no real reason.  They don’t work hard.  Coaches play them anyway.  They screw around in school because they think their future is playing professional sports, or that colleges won’t care they’re a crappy student.  People treat them differently because their the local star of the moment.  They float through life believing this will never end.

Flash-forward 10 years and they are usually sitting in the stands of the same local school’s games carrying around their regret like a backpack.  Working at the local factory or some crappy sales job, talking about how they were so close to ‘making it’.  But they didn’t.

I wish I could send these kids a Ghost like in the movie The Christmas Carol.  A Ghost of Athlete Past to show them where they are and where they are going.  Where they are truly going is not where they think.  It’s not dropping out of college because they didn’t prepare themselves. It’s not sleeping in their parents basement at 28 because they can’t find a job to pay them enough money to have their own place.  It’s certainly not sitting a some random game at their local high school talking to anyone who will listen how they were better than the current version of themselves on the field right now.

I know people like to blame coaches.  The coach should have been able to get ‘that’ kid to see how they were throwing it all away.  Some blame the parents for not disciplining them enough and showing them how their path was broken.  I tend to blame the collective.  All of us who each, at one time or another, gave the kid a pass.  Well, he’s the best player, you need to put up with his attitude.  We won’t win with out him so, you’ve got to put up with him not practicing hard.  Well, we need him for this Friday’s game, so let’s just give him a passing grade ‘this’ time.  We’ve all failed him.

We all had the chance to make this kid a great kid.  Great athlete, great student, great person.  Instead we filled him with regret that he’ll have to carry around for a lifetime.  I lifetime of regret at 18.  It’s heavy at 18, and it only gets heavier each year after.  I love athletics.  Athletics have given me a ton in my life, as they have for so many people in our society.  It breaks my heart to see a young kid getting ready to sling that backpack on, though. To know you’re looking at someone who has already seen their best days at such a young age.

Just a reminder to give it your all today.  Some will only have one shot. Did you do everything you could have done to be ready?

 

It’s My Birthday, Biatch!

Posted on by
6

Yeah, it’s my birthday, if we were really close friends you would have already known that and sent me something cool like Diet Mt. Dew or a Sprinkles Cupcake.  But you didn’t, so I wrote this stupid blog post as a birthday present to myself.  That’s what happens when you turn 33, you give yourself a present, like an adult.  Actually, I’m 44.  I don’t get why people get all upset to talk about their age.  I look at it as I’m one year closer to moving in with my kids and making their life miserable, paybacks are bitch boys!

Actually, I’m fairly certain that with the massive amounts of Diet Dew I drink I’m headed on a path to Alzheimer’s, and I don’t say that to make fun, it’s just a fact. You can’t put that many chemicals in your body and not think something will happen.  I’m very self aware. I think it’s probably a blessing in disguise to my kids. They can put me in a home, and I won’t know the difference either way.  All I ask, remember it’s my birthday, is you put me in a home that has a lake or a pond.  I like sitting by the water, even it I won’t know why.

Anyway, my wife asked me what I want.  Which is a little like asking ‘what do you want me to allow you to buy yourself’, which I appreciate, because she gets me.  If I’m going to have to get something for my birthday, I might as well like it!  At 44 there isn’t really anything material I need, so here’s the list of things I would want for my birthday in no particular order:

1. To be left alone in the house with a gin and tonic and an NBA game on.  So I can fall asleep without interruption.

2. For someone in my family to take my kids, so my wife and I can have a solid 24 hours together without having to make a meal, do a load of laundry or pick up shoes, coats, backpacks, empty food wrappers, socks, empty cups, etc.

3. For you to listen to this white kid do the rap from TLC’s Waterfalls –

Now you know what a 17 year old Tim Sackett was like.

Happy Birthday to me kiddos!

Philosophy for a Happy Life

Posted on by
2

This is Sam Bern’s Philosophy for a Happy Life. Sam was a 17 year old kid who battled a very rare aging disease called Progeria.  The kid was pretty amazing for his outlook on life.  Here is his Philosophy for a Happy Life:

1. Be okay with what you ultimately can’t do, because there is so much you CAN do.

2. Surround yourself with people you want to be around.

3. Keep moving forward.

4. Never miss a party if you can help it.

Sam got to share this philosophy at the Mid-Atlantic TEDx event –

I love the simplicity of it.  I love the ‘teenager’ in it.

Focus on what you can do. Stay positive. Hang out with people who appreciate you, and you them.  Don’t look back, you can’t change the past. Party. This ride won’t last forever, might as well have some fun while we are here.

I wish every person could be this smart!

Beautiful Things Don’t Ask For Attention

Posted on by
5

Over the holidays I got a chance to see the movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

Sean Penn, plays freelance professional photographer Sean O’Connell.  Walter Mitty is played by Ben Stiller.  At one point Walter is searching for Sean to get an important negative and he finds Sean in some distant mountains, overseas, trying to capture a photo of a wild snow leopard.  Sean says this line when explaining to Walter why he goes to such lengths to get a photo:

“Beautiful things don’t ask for a attention.”

In context or out, it’s a hugely profound line.  Sean isn’t necessarily speaking to the snow leopards outward beauty but saying something truly beautiful, inside and out, doesn’t ask for attention, nor necessarily want attention.  Each of us defines beauty differently, so this statement takes on different meaning for all of us.

I love this, I’ll leave it that.