Category Archives: Holidays

3 Things HR Pros Don’t Want for the Holidays!

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It’s that time of year when you start receiving holiday gifts from HR Vendors.  My own company even does it.  For the most part, we send out a holiday card to the vast majority out our contacts, but those ‘paying’ clients or ‘Friends of the Company’ (former or future paying clients) we do something special.  Most companies go through the same kind of decision-making process when determining what should you do for your clients.

Some companies really get creative when determining what to send their clients. My friends Kris Dunn and Shannon Russo, who run the RPO firm Kinetix, decided a few years back to give out books to their clients and friends of the company.  Not just any books, they really dug in and got creative around a book that thought would challenge how people were thinking.  They would put together a thank you note and send out the books.  It’s different, it’s eye-catching, it’s memorable.  I’ll say, though, Kinetix is not the norm.

My friend, Eric Winegardner, at Monster.com, personally makes peanut brittle each holiday, packs it up for hundreds of clients and friends, and sends it out all over the country.  It isn’t easy. It’s very time-consuming. He could easily shop it out and buy store bought stuff.  It shows that he cares.  It shows that he is thinking about you.  Whether you like peanut brittle or not, it becomes a personal gift from him to you.

The norm is boring, safe and sometimes laughable.  Let me give you examples of the worse corporate/client holiday gifts:

1. Pinup Calendar!  Okay, I have to bust on a company that I actually like a lot, Dice.com!  But, they send out a Pinup Calendar each year, and I’m not sure if it’s meant to be a joke, or if one of their executive’s spouses runs a calendar printing company and they are forced to send these out, but it doesn’t fit their brand at all!  “Hey, we’re a tech company, take this 1970 pinup calendar and put in the wall next to your 26 inch LCD screen with your Outlook running on it.”  My grandpa had a pinup calendar in his garage he would get from the gas station!  I’m not sure who makes the Dice.com calendar decision, but I would love to hear about it!

2. Pre-printed Holiday Cards!  You know the ones that say something like “Happy Holidays from the Gang at HRU!”.  You shove it in a pre-printed envelope with a pre-printed address label of your client that your admin ran off an excel mail merge.  It says ‘Classy’!  “We care so much about you as a client that we won’t even sign our name to the card!”  Really!? I don’t care if you’re sending out 1500 cards, sign your freaking name on the cards. It might take a couple of hours and your wrist will hurt, but you’ll live.  Your clients deserve your very least!

3. Company Logo Coffee Mug!  No one really wants your crappy logo coffee mug, unless you’re going to spend some real money and get something that is really nice.  No, I take that back, we still don’t want your expensive logo crappy coffee mug!  Again, what this says to your client is: 1. You must drink coffee and 2. You must drink coffee in our crappy mug and think about us!  I don’t drink coffee. Send me Diet Mt. Dew with your logo on it and I’ll drink every last drop and sign your praises in a caffeinated baritone that would make angels blush!

So, what should you do to show your clients you really care about them and want to thank them for another year of doing business?  It doesn’t matter, big or small, but make it something personal to them, not to you.  If your first thought is: “what is something that is cheap that we can throw out logo on and send it out” — you’re doing it wrong! If your thinking what does this client (the individual I have a relationship with) really into, and what’s something I can send them to show them I was thinking of ‘them’ specifically when they open it — you’re doing it right!

BTW – for any HR Vendor reading this – I’m totally into Gin, Michigan State University and Sprinkles Cupcakes!  Have a great holiday season!

5 Great Excuses To Miss a Co-workers Wedding

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I had one of my Recruiters ask for some advice this week. It wasn’t work advice, it was a little more personal.  She had told a person she would attend a wedding of a family member with them, but was having second thoughts. It was one of those Holy Crap moments! I don’t really like this person that much, and I don’t want to go to a family wedding with him and send the wrong message.

So, what was my advice?  It started out pretty straight. Tell them the truth!  “Look dude, I’m just not that into you, and the last place on earth I want to be on Saturday evening is sitting at a table with your parents and Aunt Betty with them thinking “ours” is next!”

As you can imagine, that wasn’t going to do.  Not that she didn’t want to tell him the truth, but she also didn’t want to hurt him. She was looking for a softer way to cut him loose.  You know! A how-do-I-get-him-to-not-want-me-to-go excuse – like he can’t stand my breathe or I have hammer toes, or something!?

Now, she was truly diving into my end of the pool!  You want a “Fake Reason” why you can’t go!  YES! I’m in HR. I’m in Recruiting. I’m the king of fake excuses of why people don’t get the job!  I’m on it!

So, here’s the first 3 I gave her:

  1. You haveVD! (Ok, I know this is strong right out of the gate – but let’s face the facts – most dudes will run from this!  Funny Fact: She is a millennial and had no idea what “VD” was! I’m old! Using WWII references like it was cool 2015 slang!)
  2. Your Dog has Cancer!(Sketchy I know, but girls and their pets…this one might work.  Funny Fact: Her dog actually did have Eye Cancer, but was cured, so not technically lying…)
  3. You have to Babysit for a Co-worker!(Now this one is fraught with problem – guys have gotten this one before and they might pull a. “Oh, I’ll come and help!” then you’re stuck and have to find some brat to babysit for the night. Funny Fact: She was like “Oh, hell No! I have a Real Job, why would I babysit!”)

All of this brainstorming got me thinking of how I’ve personally gotten out of going to Co-workers Weddings that I didn’t want to go to.  Here are my Top 5 Excuses to  Miss a Co-worker’s Wedding:

  1. I’ll be on Vacation! This is good because you usually find out about the wedding of a co-worker way ahead of time. All you have to do is actually plan for this and take your vacation during the weekend of the wedding. Far, far away from the actual wedding.
  2. My kid has a sports tournament out of town that weekend.  A little sketchy, but it is really hard for them to verify you really didn’t have a sports tournament, and let’s face it, I’m going to my kids sports game (the 127th of this year) vs. your once in a lifetime moment.
  3. I came down with the “Flu”!This one nobody believes, but it’s the go-to excuse because everyone uses it and it has been internationally certified as an acceptable lie to get out of anything.
  4. My Mom/Dad/Grandma/Grandpa/Great Aunt Betty/etc. fell and are at the hospital. I needed to go see them. They needed my help. It was serious.  Let’s face old people fall. In fact, it might be the only thing they have left to do. You hear about old people falling everyday. Very usable excuse in a pinch because it’s somewhat believable and old people don’t remember later on when someone asks “How are you doing after your fall?”, and they’ll go “better” and then complain about their aches and pains.
  5. I’ve got another Wedding that same day! Again, believable, but what you’re really saying to the person is “I’ve ranked you lower than someone else in my life. I hope you understand, but I didn’t buy you a place setting off your registry!”

What is your top excuse for not going to a co-worker’s wedding?

The Public Education Summer Vacation Scam

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In about 2 weeks my 3 sons will be off of school for the summer.  That means my wife will lose her mind for the next 12 weeks as she has 3 smelly bodies running in and out of the house all day, lying around and doing what boys do. Which at this point I think entails: eating, leaving their stuff lying around, eating, watching TV/Playing Ebox, eating, texting, eating, sleeping, eating, repeat.

I’ve gotten to a point in my life where I don’t understand the American public education system any longer.  When I was a kid (old white guy rant begin now), I loved it! Three months off of school during the only time in Michigan that is nice! What a great plan!  As a parent/adult, I ceased believing this is a wise plan.

Will someone please explain to me why in 2015 we need to have kids off of school for 12 straight weeks?

Here are the answers I get:

– We need the kids to work the crops! (Not since 1930 was this a real reason!)

– We need the kids to work at the resorts for the tourism industry! (No, you don’t – you need the kids off school so parents will take their kids on vacation and spend money at your resorts)

– Kids need a break to let their brains reboot! (I won’t even justify this with a response.)

Here are the real answers:

– The Teachers Unions won’t negotiate a full year schedule because teachers love having the summers off.

– Some parents are stuck in this 1950’s notion that their kids need 12 weeks off in a row because they got it, so should their kids. (Do you see the pattern of entitlement beginning to take place…)

– Politicians don’t have the guts to do the right thing, so they stick with what is currently in place, even though it was developed over 80 years ago when their was an actual need to have kids off during the summer months.  (This reason could be used for most of what ails America.)

So, here’s what I know: Having kids home for 12 straight weeks sucks for families.  Childcare is a nightmare – many kids forced to stay home by themselves or under watched, plus the additional cost is bad for families.  Kids unlearn way too much during this time off, forcing reeducation at the beginning of each year – which wastes time and resources.

What can ‘we’ do it about since politicians refuse to do anything about it?  I think companies can solve this.  There are some issues companies have with America’s education system right now.  Companies feel kids are not prepared for the workforce, don’t have work ethic, aren’t being taught work-related skills, etc.  Instead of waiting around for the world to change, I think American Corporations can change the world ourselves.

Here are 3 things companies can do to help out Moms and help out themselves:

  1. Job Corp.  Yep, good old fashion put kids (14 yrs old and above) to work learning and training on skills companies will need in the future.  No, I’m not talking about child labor – I’m talking about starting kids out in an environment where they go to work with their parents and learn how actually to work.  Want to see some real change in America?!  Imagine having to take your 15 year old with you to work each day for 12 weeks!  Take your child to work – Everyday!  That’s Big Change!
  2. Community volunteer programs. Companies rotate paid sabbaticals for the 12 weeks where the company workers lead teams of kids on community based projects.  Help elderly fix up their homes, clean up parks and waterways, beautify our cities, clean up vacant lots, etc.  Can you imagine the change that would happen if for 30-40 hours per week, for 12 weeks all of the kids eight years and up in America were working across the country volunteering?!  That is an unimaginable change that would be so cool!
  3. Change Public Education.  Corporations need to voice strongly their displeasure with the current public school scheduling and demand a change.  Full year schedules. Longer days.  Kids will still get time off – just spread those weeks around the year where it makes better sense to learning.  This can be done.  We just have to let politicians know this by not funding their campaigns if they won’t support this change.

What would you do to help out families facing the annual summer break?

This One’s For You Poppi

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(Picture Above – Poppi, my Mom (far left) and three of my Aunts)

My Grandfather fought in WWII in the U.S. Navy.  After he died my Grandmother gave me his medals and pictures. I was about 13 years old. I still remember the feel of the medals and yellowing of the paper and edges of the pictures. I got older, learn to drive, went of to college, and for the life of me I’ve never been able to find that envelop of artifacts.  It pains me that I lost them.

It’s not that those pictures and pins remind me of Poppi (my name for my Grandfather), he never talked to me about the war, or I never listened, I was a kid. I remember him taking me fishing, grabbing my knee to tickle me and how he loved my grandmother.  As kids we would all wear his ‘giant’ t-shirts as pajamas to bed when we stayed over, and you could smell the Old Spice on them.

Poppi would tell my Grandmother how much he loved her as he drifted off to sleep. All of us grandkids stacked up like cordwood on the floor right outside their bedroom, the door always open.  We would giggle as he seemed to not stop telling her until we all seem to finally drift off to sleep. It left a deep impression on me on how he truly loved this woman with his entire being.

It made me love her more. As a kid you look up to your grandfather and if he loved her that much, I better try to love her at least half that much.  He was the best example of how to love someone I have had in my entire life.

So, on this Memorial Day, I remember the only soldier I ever truly knew, my Poppi.  I’m so happy he came back to marry my Grandmother, and it makes me think of all those kids who never got a chance to know their Poppi.

United We Win

HR’s Christmas Gift

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Ok, before we get started, stop it.  I could have titled this, “HR’s Holiday Gift” or “HR’s Chanukah Gift”, etc. But, I didn’t, the majority of people celebrate Christmas, so I used Christmas. Breath in HR people. (for the record we celebrate both Hanukkah and Santa in my house – my kids are equal gift getters!).

So, what would it be? If you could have one thing in HR for Christmas, what would you ask for?

And don’t be lame. “Oh Tim, I would just ask for world peace and that Snapple brought back Compassion Berry” No you wouldn’t, not if it was real. I mean for really real!

I’m sure a bunch of HR Pros would ask for a new HRIS System. I mean that’s what we do during the holidays, we want the biggest baddest fastest new electronic device that will make our lives easier and make us look 10 pounds thinner!

I’m sure a bunch of HR Pros would ask for the ability to Hire more employees!  What a gift that would be.  Not only for the people getting hired, but for your overwork staff. One thing that hasn’t come back from the recession is HR and Talent Acquisition staffs. Most shops are still running very thin!

I’m sure a bunch of HR Pros would ask for a new Employment Brand!  Oh to be as sexy as Google, Zappos or Sodexo! Wouldn’t that be a wonderful environment to work in HR.  Life just seems easier when you work for a sexy brand.  It isn’t actually, but that’s what great branding does.  It makes some idiot like me think it must be easy to work in a great place like that, so they should hire me!

I’m sure a bunch of HR Pros would ask for better Talent for their organizations (which is technically way more than one gift, but let’s face it, some of us HR Pros don’t follow directions well!).   This is the freaking holy grail, right!  If we only had the top talent (instead of saying we only hire top talent – then hire those who respond to our posts) our lives would be so much easier!

There are so many things we could ask for in HR, but this is why I love HR – for all those gifts I listed above, and for so many more you and I could come up with, we work in a profession where we have the ability to deliver each and everyone of those to our organizations.  With enough time, patience, influence, strategy and luck, not one of those things I couldn’t give my organization.  Maybe that’s the best gift of all.

For the record – Visionary Leader – that’s my one gift – the one I would ask for.  Those are rare, those are hard to find.  Not many of us get the opportunity to work with a true visionary. Great managers, strong leaders, charismatic personalities – yes; But a Visionary Leader, that is something few get the opportunity to experience.

What would be your One gift you want for HR this holiday season?

HR’s Greeting Cards

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Around the holidays I go out and get greeting cards to send out to various friends and family.  We also receive a ton of holiday cards at home and work. I’m always amazed at how specific the greeting card companies have gotten.  Just this past week my own Mom send a card to my wife and I and it was to “My Loving Son and Daughter-In-Law”.  It made me laugh out loud at how specific the title was, and immediately I began to think of even more specific greeting cards I wish I had in my life as an HR Pro:

– “Dear High Performing Employee with Overcompensation Issues”

– “To The Leader Who Wants Everyone to Love them”

– “TEAM – We All Rock, but Some rock more”

– “dear introverted person in accounting, I see you”

– “Hey! Top Performing Sales Pro, we get it, you’re making a ton of cash”

– “Low Performer! Please perform better, I hate conflict”

– “Dear Recent Divorcee, Your eHarmony hookup stories are disturbing”

– “Employee who is also a Parent, Yay! you decided to do this”

– “Dear Gay Employee, we know, you’re Gay!”

– “Dear Bro Employees, Hey Bro” 

– “Dear Hiring Manager, Congratulations! There are no more candidates!” 

– “Dear Sports Guy, yeah, we know, there was a game last night” 

– “Dear Sr. Executive, Your infidelity is showing” 

– “Dear Employee Who Never Seems To Get Recognition, here it is.” 

There seems to be an endless need for specificity in the greeting card business.  No longer can you just give out a “Thanks” or a “Congrats”.   I can only imagine what’s being cooked up right now in the creative spaces at Hallmark and such.  “To My Stepson and his Second-cousin Wife on your son’s Bar Mitzvah, Congrats!”

What greeting cards would you love to see?

Sackett’s Things To Be Thankful For in HR and Recruiting

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It’s Thanksgiving, you shouldn’t be ready HR blog posts. You’ve got a problem. I can probably recommend someone for you to talk to, but now that you’re here, let me tell you about all the things I’m thankful for in HR and Recruiting.

Sackett’s Things He’s Thankful For in HR and Recruiting:

1. Employees who show up to work on time…and actually work.

2. Those little space heaters you can fit under your desk.  I live in a cold climate, so those little space heaters are like warm puppies wrapped in warm puppies.

3. Candidates who aren’t completed idiots when asked where they see themselves in five years, and don’t say something like “well, probably working at another  company”.

4. An ATS that doesn’t suck. Wait, that’s wishful, not thankful.

5.  A hiring manager who actually appreciates the fact you had to go through 100 crappy candidates to get the one marginal candidate you were able to find her.

6. That finance only asked us to take a 7% cut to our HR budget this year.

7. That our CEO still truly believes that our employees are our greatest asset. Which is exactly what I wrote for him on our internal employee blog, that people still believe he writes.

8. That SHRM finally came up with certification that everyone will respect and honor, unlike that crappy HRCI certification they sold to us for the last 25 years.

9. That the recession is over and our friends in Learning and OD actually can have training classes again. Yay! Soft skills leadership development…

10. That Millennials will soon be the largest demographic in our workforce, and the fact I bought stock in trophy making companies.

Stay hungry my friends.

 

Sackett’s Office Holiday Party Rules

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It’s fast becoming that time of year when you’ll be invited to office holiday parties across the world!  This is one of my favorite times of the year.  Let’s face it, I’m married and 40sih, the office holiday parties are one of the few times a year I have a get out of jail free card.  “What!? You want to do shots? Well, I shouldn’t, but I want to be a ‘team’ player. You know me!”  My wife mildly puts up with me, for one night, so I can act like one of those millennials who works with me.  Usually, I’m yawning at 11pm, and wondering what I’m missing on the local news.

The HRU holiday parties are awesome. Basically, because I’m in charge of two things: 1. Ordering the food and 2. Paying the bar tab.  Which means we have plenty of variety of great things to eat, and we have an open bar.  The ‘kids’ like an open bar. It always goes over well.  I don’t have any rules.  I used to be one of those ‘bosses’ that was like, “you better show up”, which led to about 2 or 3 people being at the party that didn’t want to be. But I’ve matured, and now I’m like “don’t come if you don’t want to have fun!”

I do think some HR Pros need rules for their employees, and as usual I’m here to help you.  So, here are Sackett’s Office Holiday Party Rules:

Rule No. 1 – If you drink too much and throw up at your office holiday party, never go back to work at that job. Ever!

Rule No. 2 – If you bring a date that looks like a stripper, you’ll be forever known as the employee who brought a stripper to the office holiday party. Dress appropriately, strippers.

Rule No. 3 – There are these things called Smartphones which take pictures.  Always remember this, or you’ll be reminded of it the next morning on Facebook.

Rule No. 4 –  If you have a date that is anti-social, you might want to rethink that plan.  No one wants to deal with ‘creepy’ at an office holiday party.

Rule No. 5 – It’s okay to dance at your office holiday party. It is not okay to dance alone at your office holiday party.

Rule No. 6 – You don’t have to ask if your employer will let you expense a cab or Uber ride home. They will, 100% of the time. Be safe.

Rule No. 7 – Don’t flirt with your office crush at the office holiday party. You have 364 days a year you can do that and not look completely desperate.

Rule No. 8 – Getting your boss drunk, and making an idiot of her, isn’t funny, it’s career limiting. Be a good ‘wing-person’.

Rule No. 9 – Don’t get all religious at an office holiday party. Yes, I’m sure, Jesus is the reason for the season, but not the office holiday party season.  Jesus isn’t into that season.

Rule No. 10 – Don’t talk work.  Talk cars, or sports, or kids, or video games, or movies, or books, anything but work.  Get to know your co-workers as people.

 I’m different than most HR Pros in that I actually like holiday parties, and company picnics, and every other time we can get together as an organization that isn’t work.  We spend more time with our co-workers than our families, on a normal week.  Our co-workers become our close friends and extended family.  It’s wonderful to break bread with them and just have fun.  Learn who they are outside of work, and meet others in their life that our special to them.

So, go have fun. Don’t be stupid.  An order something expensive that you normally wouldn’t do when you’re paying the bill!

The Container Store Doesn’t Want to Hire Harvard Grads

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You probably saw this on the web this past week, but in case you didn’t a former Harvard University graduate and Emmy award winning writer got rejected for a job at The Container Store for the holidays.  She was very surprised by this, in a pompous I’m-really-to-good-for-you kind of way, but I’m desperate, so you would be lucky to have me. Here it is in her words:

“The email from The Container Store asking for holiday help arrived a week before my rescheduled MRI. Of course I applied! You would have, too, if you had one kid paying his own way through college, another applying, no health coverage, a bum boob, a broken marriage and an empty bank account. There is no time for shame in a recession. You do what you have to do. There are worse ways to spend your day than greeting visitors at the front of a store run by a company whose products you actually use. A week later, I got an email from the Manhattan Loss Prevention department at The Container Store. Here’s what it said:

Hello Deborah —

Thank you for your interest in employment opportunities at The Container Store.

We carefully review all applications and consider each person for current or future opportunities. At this time, we are moving forward with other candidates for this position.

Again, we thank you for your interest in The Container Store. We wish you much success in your job search.

Sincerely,

The Container Store
Manhattan Loss Prevention

Reader, first I laughed when I read this. Then I cried. Oh, Reader, I cried and I cried, long and deep and mournfully. I cried for me and my kids, then I cried for everyone else in my same boat, then I cried for everyone in far worse boats. Because seriously, if an Emmy Award-winning, New York Times bestselling author and Harvard grad cannot land a job as a greeter at The Container Store — or anywhere else for that matter, hard as I tried — we are all doomed.“

Really?  We are all doomed because someone who has a Harvard degree and can write can’t get a service level holiday job?

Let’s take a look at why she probably didn’t get hired. I’ll give you some possible reasons on why The Container Store decided to go another route:

1. It’s a temporary job for the holidays, where they need someone to greet stressed out holiday shoppers.  Many people work these jobs each year to get extra holiday money, they have experience doing this, they can be counted on, not to quit after the first rude person yells at them. Experience counts. Even in ‘crappy’ jobs.

2.  These jobs are boring and monotonous. Service level companies know that most Harvard educated folks would be bored and not engaged in these positions.

3. Looking at the application of someone with a Harvard education and being a writer, they might have decided the person would work only until they got a better job, and they wanted to ensure the person stayed on through the completion of the assignment.

4. Maybe they had someone who has worked ‘temporarily’ for them in the past apply to come back, that had previously performed well.

5. Maybe they got internal referrals of friends and family from their employees, and decided those hires might ‘fit’ better.

No doubt Deborah is smart and a good writer. That doesn’t mean she would be good for the container store, and it is pompous of her to believe she would be.  She didn’t see this ‘job’ as good, she saw it as a step down, and something she was ‘forced’ to do.  Sounds just like someone you really want working for you, right?  “Well, I don’t have anything else Container Store, I guess I’ll take your crappy job.”

The Container Store rejected a Harvard graduate because a Harvard graduate isn’t the best hire, the best talent, for the position they were hiring for.  I might not be a Harvard graduate, but that seems pretty simple to figure out.