Category Archives: Life Lessons

The Random Shit They Leave Us

Posted on by
1

You know what one of the greatest things about firing or laying someone off is?  The free crap people just leave in their desks when they leave!

Someone at my company left a long time ago and left this ladies brown, kind of chunky, cardigan sweater.  It was one of those that was really comfortable, but not the best looking.  That thing just gets passed around amongst any of the ladies who are cold.

I had to pack up the desk of a guy who was fired for performance once and found an almost full fifth of vodka.  That was a really nice find! And probably the reason his performance wasn’t so good.  Sure you get a ton of pens, staplers, tape dispensers, etc. Office supplies seem to be the bulk of finds.

At one employer I was at after a major layoff the head of HR had what was left of our HR team go collect all the office supplies from all the empty desks.  There was over a hundred people left go that day and the mountain of office suppliers was enormous! We could have opened our own Office Max!

Office lunch and snacks are probably the second most left item. You can a lot of microwavable soups and such.  Candy. Crackers. Chips.  Don’t think that stuff gets thrown away!  Office workers are a direct descendant of Piranhas! You throw random desk food into a break room and that stuff is gone in minutes.

There tends to be a lot of business books left in offices and cubes after someone leaves. I guess that 7 Habits and Good to Great weren’t working so well, so why take them along with you.  I, myself, have an entire bookshelf in my office of business books that I’ve read over the past two decades. I really don’t need them anymore, now they’re basically decoration.  I also have three text books from my master’s HR program that I’ll never crack open.  keeping those were a solid choice.

The one thing you can count on is there are always some clues left behind of why the person is no longer with you, especially those who are terminated.  Usually, you find something thing that helps this person waste eight hours per day. Crossword books, magazines, video game console, workout bands, etc., basically anything you can do at work, except work.

Half used calendars are another thing people tend not to take with them on their journey through life. I could make an entire memorial of past employees by just pinning up their cat and muscle car calendars.  Nothing shows appreciation and tenure like August’s motivational quote of the month!

Of all the random shit past employees leave us, it’s the stories that are the best.  I think you can measure your impact on an organization by the number of stories you leave behind.  If you go to a group lunch or office party, a year later, and there are no stories being shared about you, you probably didn’t have much impact.

What’s your best shit that people left behind?

HR So Fast You’ll Freak

Posted on by
4

Have you guys tried Jimmy John’s Gourmet Sandwiches (err, subs)?  My family loves Jimmy Johns! Way too much of my annual income goes to this company!

Little known fact, I was once offered the head HR position at Jimmy Johns.  Back in 2007 I was working for Applebee’s and we were bought out by IHOP (International House of Pancakes) – which was much smaller, but it was a recession and Applebee’s stock was down and the IHOP folks were sitting on a pile of cash, and the rest is just good old American capitalism.

The uncertainty of a takeover had me open to new opportunities, and a headhunter called me about Jimmy Johns.  I was familiar with them, plus it was the top HR spot.  The founder of Jimmy Johns was no longer in the picture, he groomed at young man, James North, to take over the company (read his story in the link, it’s fascinating). The ‘kid’ was like 28-29 when I went to interview. He was running around the place, full of energy, looking to change the world one freaking fast sub at a time.

The total interview lasted about 30 minutes.  He threw me the keys to his Cadillac Escalade and told me to go find a house.  Head of HR position, thirty minutes, go find a house. I had five hours before my flight left.  I drove around Champaign, IL thinking it wasn’t East Lansing. James scared me, because he wasn’t like the big company operations leaders I had at Applebee’s.  I turned the position down, to the chagrin of my sons.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. By social media chance I get connected with the head of HR for Jimmy Johns, Amber Rhoton. I had to share my story! I mean what HR pro gets keys thrown to them of a Cadillac and is told to find a house! It’s a brilliant story, part of her organization.  She loved it, and confirmed James is still running the show, and the company is exponentially larger and more successful than it was in 2007.

Amber had the guts I didn’t have.  We (my ragtag group of brothers and sisters in the HR thought leadership space) tell HR people to have courage all the time.  I didn’t.  I thought I did.  But when push came to shove to prove it, I went back to the nice cushy well developed HR department at the largest casual dining company in the world.   James had the vision I couldn’t see.  Operations so tight that you can barely pay for your food when some kids is telling your sub is ready.

Building something from scratch and taking it to the next level is not easy, and it’s not safe.  A position like that might not be for you. It takes a level of courage many people don’t have.  It’s much easier to keep something on top, than to get it on top (people on top don’t believe this, but it’s true). Being number one has built in advantages, you don’t get chasing number one.

I envy HR pros like Amber, and operators like James.  Those are the people you want to learn from. The knowledge level is higher for those who made the journey versus those who arrived at something already on top.  We listen too much to those on top that did nothing but show up to an organization that was on top.  I like the grinders. I like HR so fast, you’ll freak!

 

 

The Real Reason for Long Term Unemployed

Posted on by
5

In 1979 America had a major energy crisis, mostly blamed on the Iranian government reducing exports and inflating oil prices. This caused the country to go into a prolonged recession.  Our own government made this worse, by trying to help, in changing monetary policy, which knowingly drove up inflation to incredible levels.

The early 1980’s recession caused many people out of jobs, and many were unemployed for a long period.  Long term unemployed isn’t new to our country.  There is one major difference between the early 1980’s and today.

The internet.

From the New York Times:

“technology has made unemployment less lonely. Tyler Cowen, an economist at George Mason University, argues that the Internet allows men to entertain themselves and find friends and sexual partners at a much lower cost than did previous generations.”

You see in 1980 when a man was unemployed he had nothing to do but sit and think about being unemployed.  He could tinker around the house, but eventually that list of “To Dos” got done, and all you had to keep you company was the endless thought of “I’m unemployed”.

Today, you have an endless thought of “well, only one more click” which sends you down a rabbit hole you won’t come out of for hours!

Like most Republicans, I’m just going to blame the internet for this problem.

I remember my Dad forcing me out of the house to find a job.  I had to physically walk into a location to request an application, fill it out, hand it back to the manager, and see what happens next.  I also had to walk to school, in the snow, uphill, both ways.

We all know, now, no one walks in an employer and applies.  We sit at home and apply to five thousand jobs and get around four thousand five hundred email do not reply ‘we received your application’ responses (500 companies still haven’t figured out that reply functionality on their ATS).

I would love a study of the long term unemployed that would ask that one question:

“How many times have you physically gone to a place of employment and applied in person for a position?”

I would guess that number would be very low.  I’m not saying that just doing this would solve long term unemployment.  It might help some individuals get a job.  I’m saying the internet makes it too easy for you to stay unemployed.

Turn off House of Cards on Netflix.  Take a shower. Get a new haircut. Put one some clean clothes and let’s go visit some people. It’s hard to do, which means not many are doing it, which means you will have an advantage over almost everyone.  The internet won’t solve your problem. In fact, it’s probably making your problem worse.

There is No Kill Switch On Awesome!

Posted on by
Reply

Happy Monday Friends!

Let’s make this week completely Awesome!

Spring is upon us! (well, some of us)

There is no better time to be alive! Well, I hear the sixties were pretty great, and the fifties, possibly the twenties…anywho…

Remember –

No kill switch

 

What awesome stuff are you going to do this week?

 

Kate (Plus 8) Gosselin Can Help You Fix Your Employee Turnover!

Posted on by
1

Remember, Jon and Kate Plus 8, the reality TV show with the lady that had sextuplets, on top of already having twins?  Kate Gosselin was back in the media eye again recently as a participant on Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice.  She made the news because no one recognized her! In a good way. From the story on Xfinity:

If you tuned into Celebrity Apprentice this past season and didn’t immediately recognize Kate Gosselin, you weren’t alone.

But the reality-TV star, who first burst into our collective consciousness when Jon & Kate Plus 8 premiered in 2007, has a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why she somehow looks younger now, at 39, than she did when her TLC run was just beginning.

“I think when the world met me I was three days post having sextuplets, so the only place you can get from that point is younger,” she told E! News on the live  Celebrity Apprentice finale red carpet last night when asked about her seeming physical transformation.

“So It was really just eye-trickery, I think,” Gosselin continued. “You guys saw me at my worst first, and then I just kind of reversed in front of your eyes. It was nothing amazing, it was just, when you met me, who was that person?”

What does this have to do with your turnover?

You don’t allow candidates to ever see you at your worse, ever.  Then, you’re shocked when they leave because they couldn’t handle your worse.

Now, I’m not telling you to completely go crazy and show all your dirty laundry to every potential candidate.  Certain companies can really learn something from this. It’s the companies that have absolutely awful turnover, especially compared to your industry norm, and can’t seem to figure out how to fix it.

It’s, also, those companies that seem to try and hide their dirty laundry the most when they’re interviewing potential hires!  I get it.  You have unstoppable turnover, you need more bodies, you have a bad reputation in the market, and you want to show everyone you’re trying to change it.  The problem is, people then have a false hope as compared to the reality you make them step into.

Show them the ugly Kate, and eventually the beautiful Kate might come through, and they’ll love you even more. (see how I brought that full circle?! I’m a pro.)

The only way to fix really bad turnover is to hire people who don’t mind your worst side.  Those people will stay around and actually appreciate your growth to a better environment.  If you try and talk a candidate out of the job because they can’t handle it, and you show them how bad it actually is, and they keep coming back and wanting in, you probably need to give them a shot!

We try and do the opposite. “Let’s hire people who worked at great companies, with great environments, and they’ll help us get to that!”  No they won’t.  They’ll fail.  People who come from great companies, buckle when presented with horrible environments.  You need to find people who like your worst. Those people will make it.

The way to stop turnover is to get fully staffed. Sounds like an oxymoron, but it’s not. Get staffed with people who will stick around. Then work on upgrading, little by little. Quality doesn’t help awful turnover. People willing to get dirty, help awful turnover.

 

Covering Up a Career Hickey

Posted on by
3

I had a person work for me at past job in HR.  She performed the HR cardinal sin of sins, she shared personal, confidential information with an employee outside of HR.  My problem was, this person was a high performer, an outstanding employee, she had a frustrating, weak moment, and did something you just can’t do in a HR position.  This is what we call a Career Hickey. Sometimes you can survive these hickeys and cover them up, and continue to work as normal.  Many time you can’t.

So now, this Hi-Po has a huge Hickey.  Interestingly though, this Hickey can’t be seen when you look at their resume or interview them in person, but it’s a Hickey they can’t get rid of.  So, barring a life-turtleneck how does one cover this puppy up?

It’s interesting because I think that probably the best of us have a hickey or two that we would rather not have our current or future employer know about.  Sometimes they’re big-giant-in-the-back-of-a-Chevy-17-year-old-I-will-love-you-forever hickeys and sometimes they’re just oops-I-lingered-a-little-too-long type of hickeys. Either way, I would rather not expose my hickeys and have to worry about how this will impact the rest of my professional life. And here’s where most people drive themselves crazy.

As HR Pros I think it’s important for us to be able to help our organizations determine the relative value of individuals.  This person was a rock star at ABC company, did something wrong, and couldn’t maintain that position any longer with ABC because of said incident, and lost their job. Now we have a chance to pick up a Rock Star (and probably for a discount).

The question you have to ask is not could we live with this person if they did the same thing here?  Because that really isn’t the question, you already have that answer is “No.”  The question is: do we feel this person learned from said wrong doing and is there any risk of them doing it again?  You might come to the conclusion, “yes, they’ve learned, and yes, there is potential they might do it again” (let’s face it, if they did it once, they’ve shown they can do it, so there’s always a risk), but it’s a risk we are willing to take.

So how does someone come back from a transgression at work? The answer is that they have some help.  Eventually, someone is going to ask the question: “why aren’t you with ABC Company anymore?”  They’ll give you the canned answer they’ve been developing since the moment they lost their job. If you’re a good interviewer, you won’t buy the first answer (I mean really – so you decided it was better off not to have a job – is what you’re telling me?!) and you will dig to see the hickey.  Hickeys are funny in that you really can’t take your eyes off of them, but for those who can get by the hickeys, you might just find a great talent who is grateful for the second chance.

But, you also might find someone who just likes being in the back of that Chevy and getting Hickeys. You’re the HR Pro though and that’s really why your company pays your salary – to mitigate risk vs. the quality of talent your organization needs to succeed. So, you have to ask yourself, can you live with a Hickey?

How To Get a Great Job in 2015

Posted on by
2

Last week I got a call from an old work friend. He wanted to have lunch.  He just left a position and was in transition.  Not a bad or negative job loss, just parted ways.  When you get to a certain executive point in your career, it’s rare that bad terminations take place. It’s usually, “hey, we like you, but we really want to go another direction, and we know you don’t want to go that direction, so let’s just shake hands and call it a day, here’s a big fat check.”

Executives get this.  For the most part there isn’t hard feelings, like when you were young and lost a job. I usually find that the organization the person is leaving from are super complementary, and usually takes the blame for the change.  Executives in corporate America are like NFL coaches. You get hired with the understanding that one day you’ll be fired.  It’s not that you know less, or aren’t going to be successful in your career, it’s just that the organization needs change, and you’re part of that change.

Welcome to the show, kid.

My friend decided that he was going to find his next position not through posting for positions online, or trolling corporate career pages, he was going to have lunches.  About two per week, with past work friends. Let’s connect, no pressure, we already know each other and I want to catch up.

You see, in 2015 you don’t find great jobs by filling out applications in ATSs and uploading resumes. You get great jobs because of the relationships and personal capital you’ve built up over your career.  Having lunch and reconnecting turn on a relationship machine. I believe that people, innately, want to help other people. When a friend comes to you with a situation, and you have something to offer or help, you will do that.

The problem is most people who are looking for great jobs don’t do this. They lock themselves in their home office and apply to a thousand jobs online and get upset when nothing happens. Great jobs aren’t filled by ATSs and corporate recruiters.  Great jobs are fill through relationships. Every single one of them.

Want to find a great job in 2015?

Go out to lunch.

One Surefire Way To Get The Job You Love

Posted on by
2

Everyone wants a job they love.  Everyone. The priorities might change from person to person, but if you asked someone, do you want a job you love, or a job you hate, 100% of people will give you the ‘Love’ answer.

There are some caveats. I might want a job that I love, but I also need a job that provides adequate pay and benefits.  I’d love to a professional puppy petter, but I just don’t see anyone putting a high value on that job.  I might want a job I love, but I also want to be close to my friends and family. While I would love working with injured dolphins on a remote island in the pacific, without my friends and family, that job would get old quick.

The one surefire way you get a job that you love is to want ‘that’ job for the right reasons.

Not because this ‘new’ job is better pay or benefits. Not because it’s in a warmer climate, or that my girlfriend lives nearby.  That is not how you get a job you love.  You’re just getting a job that fits some of your life criteria.

To get a job you love, you have to want it because that’s what you’ve always wanted to do your entire life.  You have a path that shows you’ve wanted it your entire life. You’ve been working towards this job. If you walk the path, you have a much better chance of getting to the end.

I would love to coach the Los Angles Lakers.  But, let’s face it, while I’ve wanted this most of my entire adult life, I’ve never put the work into pursuing this love job.  I didn’t bust my butt coming up the coaching ranks. I wasn’t willing to travel around the world pursuing this passion. I wasn’t willing to make peanuts for years as I got experience.

The problem is people just want a job they love without the path.  It doesn’t work that way.  99.9% of people don’t fall into jobs they love.  They might start a job not knowing if they’ll love it, and go on the path, and find out that they actually do love it.

Want a job you love?  Work for it. Show people that’s what you want through your actions and efforts.  That’s the surefire way to get a job you love.

Double Your Chances for Promotion in Two Easy Steps

Posted on by
2

I had a kid reach out to me last week and ask how he could get promoted at his current company.  I call him a kid, because he was probably 20 years younger than I, so I’ve reached that point in my life I can start calling adult professionals, ‘kids’.

Laurie Ruettimann and I had this talk just a couple weeks ago, right after she turned 40. I told her, “I’ve finally reached that point in my life where I have 20 years of solid work experience, but I feel bad about telling people that number!” 20 years of experience sounds old!  I remember when I had five years of work experience and I would try and stretch it to 7 or 8 years of experience by adding in college jobs!

Now, I have the legit experience and I want to make it sound like it’s ten years!

So, this kid wants to get promoted.  He’s got just under 5 years of experience and he’s itching for more.  We’ve all been there. Here’s what I told him:

“You need to do two things in this order: 

1st – Put together a self-development plan with activities and goals and a timeline. Show that you’re working on your ‘opportunity’ areas. (Opportunity areas are weaknesses for the GenXers reading this) 

2nd – You need to make your direct supervisor keenly aware of this plan, and (the most important part) you need to ask that supervisor for help in accomplishing your plan.  Have very specific things your boss can do to help you complete your development plan.” 

We then talked about what some of those things would look like based on what he told me he thought his ‘opportunity’ areas were.

Bosses love to promote people they believe they’ve helped and mentored.  It’s a great ego stroke, and they get bonus points from the organization because they are ‘developing’ talent.  Bosses don’t get credit for hiring great talent.  They get credit for promoting great talent.

It’s Organizational Behavior 101 at it’s finest.

It doesn’t have to be very sophisticated.  Bosses like to promote people that they believe are engaged in their job and the company.  By you taking the initiative to have your own development plan, and not wait for them to offer it up to you, and by you asking them for help, you just doubled your chances of getting promoted.

There are a lot of moving factors in anything like this, but if you are working for someone who is respected in the organization, and you have an above average performance as compared to others in your work group, this will almost always play out well for you.

Want to get promoted?  It only takes two steps.

Will Your Kid Grow Up to be in HR?

Posted on by
Reply

The website BookofOdds.com had an interesting article titled “Hey Kids, Pick A Career“, in which they give certain odds on what occupations your child (or any child born for that matter) will become a certain profession. This is of particular interest to me since I have one son entering college this year, and another, next year.  Both of my sons are weighing those normal options of doing what they think they want to do vs. how much money can I make.

As you can imagine the article gives some of the obvious careers first, like the odds my kid will be a:

  • Surgeon: 1 in 2,872
  • Professional Athlete: 1 in 9,684
  • Fashion Model: 1 in 81,440
  • Fire Fighter 1 in 452
  • Elementary Teacher 1 in 87

Because you know, we all thought we were going to be one of those when we grew up!

I don’t know about you, but I when I took the career interest assessment in my junior year of high school it didn’t say I was going to be a HR Pro.  In fact, mine gave me my top 3 “best” career choices, which honestly in order were: 1. Teacher; 2. Floral Designer; 3. Sales.  Not sure how the Floral Designer got in there, but to this day I love working out in the yard! There wasn’t even a category for HR or Personnel or Hiring Guy or anything.

So, Book of Odds really got me thinking about what my 3 son’s will be when they grow up. I know their personal choices right now (oldest to youngest) are: 1. Exercise Science or Accounting, 2. Musical Theater, 3. Stay at home with Mom.  Fairly normal given their ages of 18, 16 and 11.  In reality they are more likely to be:

  • Administrative Role: 1 in 5
  • Sales: 1 in 9
  • Food Service:  1 in 11
  • Healthcare: 1 in 19
  • Education: 1 in 16

What about HR?

  • Human Resources: 1 in 656.9
  • More interesting: 1 in 10 HR Pros make under $28,030 per year (ouch!).

Well, I can hope, like most parents that my kids find careers that pay the bills and make them happy. The odds are I’ll probably have at least one living with me until their late 20’s!