How do we find more candidates?

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I get asked this question at least once per day. Sometimes I get asked this question so many times I think someone must be playing a joke on me. I start looking for the camera. Who’s filming this?!

If I don’t just come out and answer the question and I instead ask questions, I find that almost always the person asking the question already knows the answer.

You have a job. You need to fill the job.

Let’s break it down:

  • What do you need?
  • Where are those types of people in your market?
  • How would you let those people know you want them?
  • Any other questions?

The answer to the question is you go to where the people are that you need and you let those people know you want them.

If it’s so easy, why are so many people struggling?

It’s uncomfortable. The answers lead you to be in a place you don’t want to be.

Oh, the people we need work across town at our competition. Oh, we need to get in front of those people in multiple ways. Oh, we need to talk to those people and tell them why we are a better option.

Almost all of us have the answers. The problem is the answers aren’t what we were hoping to hear.

“But, isn’t there an easier way, that will cost the same or less and take less time and effort?” No. There are other ways that will be easier for you, but those will always take more resources. It’s a fairly simple equation. The more effort you want to give up, the more it will cost to replace that effort in other ways.

Want to find more candidates for your positions? You can either do the work or find someone to do the work.

Recruiting Facts: People Actually Like It When You Want Them…

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If I hear one more person tell me that candidates don’t like phone calls, I’m going to shove a phone up your…

I’m not the smartest cat, but I know a couple of things.  Here are a few things I know:

1. You can’t taste the difference of well Gin and high-end Gin after 4 Gin and Tonics.

2. French Fries, Onion rings and Tator Tots taste great fried and taste awful baked.

3. Great tasting chocolate is the reason women can be single. (okay, I stole that one from my wife!)

4. Candidates with car trouble are lying.

5. People like to be told that you want them for a job! It’s flattering. It makes them feel important. It makes them feel valued. They love to listen to what you have to say, regardless of how satisfied they are in their job.

If I called you right now with a job that was something you have always wanted, guess what would happen?  You would call me back. You would call me back almost instantly. You would run out to your car, telling the receptionist on the way out you have an urgent personal call, to hear what I have to say.

Those people. Those thought leaders. Those idiots, who are telling you candidates don’t like phone calls are LIARS!

Why are they lying to you? Here is why I think they are probably lying to you:

1. They are lazy and hope the internet will solve all of their problems.

2. They are hoping to talk the world into believing you never have to make a phone call to get a job.

3. They are scared.

I did a survey where I asked 100 people, mostly millennials, (all potential candidates, since all people are potential candidates) if I called you with your “Dream Job”, would you either pick up my call or call me back?  Would you like to know the results?

100 out of 100 said they would pick up my call or call me back! 100%!

Recruiters who say candidates don’t like phone calls are not recruiters, they’re administrative professionals. Pay them accordingly.

Why Do You Go To Work So Early?

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Cooper: You know Dad you don’t have to go to work so early.

Me: Yes I do, someone has to pay the bills, put food on the table, keep the lights on.

Cooper: Yeah, I guess you’re right.

Me: (internal voice) – he’s probably right.

This was a conversation my youngest son and I had a few years ago. We are both early risers, so he and I have spent many mornings up before the rest of the family.

I like getting to the office early for a couple of reasons. It’s usually quiet, not a lot of distractions, so you can get a lot done, and, personally, I just perform better in the morning. I’m more productive early.

The reality is there are a few that I work with that are like that, but I find a bigger majority is probably not as early risers as I might be if given the choice. Therein lies the real issue, “given the choice”. If you were given the choice to start work at let’s say 7 am or so, or start work at 9 am or so, which do you choose?

I’ve always thought it was silly that high schools start classes, for teens, at 7 – 7:30 am. Teens have growing bodies and developing brains, why not let them sleep in and start school at 9:30 am or so? It truly makes zero sense, if we are actually trying to what’s best for children….but I digress…

What about the modern workplace? What time should work start?

I think for the most part, in environments that can manage this, we should allow workers the flexibility to start when they feel they’ll be most productive. If you’re an early riser, great, get in here and kill it. If you like to stay up late watching Netflix and roll out of bed at 9 am, awesome, get in here and do your thing.

It seems easy enough! So, why doesn’t this happen as much as it should?

The early risers don’t think the late risers really put in the hours they should. I come in at 7 am and I leave at 5 pm, I put in 9 hours. You come in at 9 am and you leave at 6 pm, you only put in 8 hours. It’s not fair! Honestly, this is really the main argument and why so many organizations still force employees to arrive at basically the same time!

It’s back to good old fashion clock watching!

The reality is, in a modern workplace, we should care less about hours and more about what actually gets done. If it takes you nine hours to get done what it takes me seven hours to get done, that’s a ‘you’ problem, not a ‘me’ problem. To make this happen, though, we have to have great measures of performance and hold people accountable to those measures.

Ugh, that’s difficult, let’s just stick to making everyone work the same amount of hours at the same time, that’s so much easier…

 

Are you a “People Person”?

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I was listening to an executive the other day talk about what he needed in an employee. Of course, there were the job skills and competencies, formal education was one, and then that magical phrase came, “Oh, and the candidates better be a ‘people person’!”

A People Person.

What the living hell does that even mean?

A People Person: A person who enjoys and is particularly good at interacting with others. 

Oh, so like a normal person who isn’t an asshole?

The skill of being “A People Person” might be the most over-valued skill of all time. And not because it’s not important, not one wants you to hire an asshole, but because have you ever met someone who when asked said, “You know, I’m just not A People Person!” No! You haven’t! Everyone, from the beginning of time, says they are A People Person!

The reality is, we ask for it because we know the truth, most people don’t enjoy interacting with others. We put up with idiots we run into every day, some of us are better at than others, no profession really does better than another.

In HR, we like to say, “We the People Person People”, but I find it’s actually the opposite. Most HR pros I run into might have the worst People Person skills, but they are paid to do a job, so put on the act fairly well. Once in a while, you find that true kind soul who seems, almost naively, to get along with everyone. “Oh that Mark, he’s a stinker, but you know he once opened a door for me, he’s good people!” Those people might be only real people persons in the world.

I’ve been labeled A People Person in my career. The reality is I’m an inch deep and a mile wide in terms of my interest, so I just have a skill of finding those few things I have in common with people I meet, so conversation comes easy for me when I meet new people. But, I dislike people at the same rate as others. I would consider myself as much of an asshole as most people, I might just hide it better at the right times.

Maybe that’s the true real skill of A People Person. Not being an asshole at the wrong time. Or at least limiting those times you’re an asshole.

Here’s the thing: The next time you hear someone say or ask for A People Person, just smile and chuckle a bit on the inside, because what they are really saying is “I just want someone who isn’t that much of an asshole” but saying “A People Person” sounds so much more professional!

 

A 30-Minute Commute is All Most People Are Willing to Take!

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We all kind of know this fact. Once you get more than 30 minutes away from your job, no matter how you actually come into work, it starts to feel like a chore. You begin to hate the commute. Doesn’t matter if you drive, take a train, walk, etc. 30 minutes, one-way, is our max!

It’s called Marchetti’s Constant: 

Marchetti’s constant is the average time spent by a person for commuting each day, which is approximately one hour. It is named after Italian physicist Cesare Marchetti, though Marchetti himself attributed the “one hour” finding to transportation analyst and engineer Yacov Zahavi.[1] Marchetti posits that although forms of urban planning and transport may change, and although some live in villages and others in cities, people gradually adjust their lives to their conditions (including the location of their homes relative to their workplace) such that the average travel time stays approximately constant.

I can’t tell you how many times, as a Recruiter, I was talked into believing this wasn’t true by a candidate that then screwed me by ghosting on an interview after driving to the location and seeing it was too long, declining an offer late, started the job but then quickly left because the commute was too long, or we had to over-compensate to make up for the time the person spent on the commute.

Probably one out of one hundred people can actually take a longer commute and live with it. 99% of people will eventually crack if the commute is over thirty minutes. So, what does this mean for us trying to attract talent to our organizations? There are certain locations in the U.S. that are much easier to have a thirty-minute commute than others:

On average, large metro areas with the shortage commute time:

  1. Grand Rapids, MI
  2. Rochester, NY
  3. Buffalo, NY
  4. Oklahoma City, OK
  5. Salt Lake City, UT
  6. Kansas City, MO
  7. Milwaukee, WI
  8. Louisville, KY
  9. Hartford, CT
  10. Memphis, TN

All of these metro areas have the majority of their citizens with a commute time under 30 minutes.

Who have the worst commute times? Think about the largest metro areas, even when you take into account their transit options: New York, San Francisco, D.C., Philly, Boston, Seattle, Chicago, etc.

So, it’s thirty minutes one-way or one hour per day, or five hours per week that the average person is willing to commute. I wonder if this plays itself out when you begin to factor in work from home options?

Let’s say you ask someone to commute one hour each way, two hours per day, but you let them work from home two days per week. Total commute time is still more at six hours per week, but would that make a difference enough to retrain and attract more talent to your organization? I have a feeling it would. It’s worth a test for those who have longer commutes at your work location.

Also, I have seen this done by any company, but I would love to see turnover data by commute time! I have seen data on hourly worker turnover and it’s amazing to see the differences by miles from a worksite in a radiant pattern. Every mile you get farther from the work site, the turnover increases exponentially until you get to about five miles where it skyrockets. So, we know if you hire hourly, low-skilled workers, your best bet for retention is less than five miles from your location (this also is about a 15-minute commute – car, public, walking, bike, etc.).

So often we want to focus on the stuff we control, versus stuff the candidate or employee can control, but we think it’s ‘their’ decision. The problem is, we allow people to make bad decisions and don’t think it will affect us, but it does in high turnover. All things being equal, or close to equal with candidates, take the one with the shorter total commute!

The One Fix for Talent Acquisition You’re Too Afraid to Implement!

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There’s a ton of reasons we are afraid of stuff. I was never scared of the dark, but for some stupid reasons, I’m scared of bees. I know that I’m not going to die from a bee. I’ve been stung. It hurts, you get over it. Yet, I hate when a bee is buzzing around me!

I think most people are afraid to be ‘found out’ professionally. To have it discovered that we aren’t as good as we think we are. Every function has hickeys. Things we really don’t want others in the company to see or know about. They aren’t career-ending things, still, they are things we aren’t proud of.

In talent acquisition, we lose great talent at points in our recruiting process. It happens way more than it should, for a number of reasons. If you were to truly dig into the exact reason why each person was lost, it wouldn’t be something most TA departments would be proud of.

What this is really saying is that talent acquisition isn’t giving this information to the hiring manager, or more likely, your hiring managers don’t believe the B.S. you’re selling them on the reasons why!

The majority of TA departments, when asked why a good candidate is lost during the process will come up with candidate problem reasons. The candidate backed out, it was too far to drive. They got an offer from another company and couldn’t wait. It wasn’t the position they truly wanted. Etc.

All of which might be legitimate, but we forget, many times the hiring managers get a different side.  Usually, hiring managers know people, who know people, etc. and the ‘real’ reason will get back to them. It then becomes, “well, Mark was getting the run around from your TA team about his plane ticket costing too much, and he felt like it just wasn’t worth dealing with this at this level”, or “the Recruiter took three days to call Mary back to schedule the interview time and by then she decided to take the other offer”.

The reality is, the majority of TA leaders don’t want to know the ‘real’ reason because it reflects poorly on their team, and on them. That doesn’t feel good! Uncovering the brutal truth is painful and many times embarrassing.

Want to fix your TA department? Find out why candidates truly left your hiring process. If that’s your focus, you’ll quickly have your priorities of what to fix, change, and improve upon.

How do you do this? First, you don’t allow your recruiting team to ask the question. The answers you’ll get back will be ‘massaged’ to make TA look great and make the hiring managers look bad, or at the very least blame anyone else except yourself. Third-party this out, or find a neutral party within the organization that can make these inquiries and report back the results. This is key.

The best leaders want to know the truth. Not their version of the truth, but the real truth. Unfortunately, the truth might be the scariest thing you’ll ever face.

2019 – A Year of Gratitude!

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I tend to love the “Year In Review” shows and articles, etc. It’s easy to forget how much actually gets done or happens in a year! It seems like it goes by in the blink of an eye, the next one starts, and most of what happened is forgotten.

I had a lot happen in 2019, but as I began to write about all those things, the things seemed less important and the people involved in those things were really the things I remembered. So, I thought, Oh, I’ll just write about all the people I’m grateful to have interacted with and met in 2019. Yeah, that was way too long of a list!

And I’m stuck. Stuck in regards to what to write, for a person who never gets writer block! Probably because the big thing that happened in 2019 was I lost my mother, unexpectedly in February, and in our culture, and being a man, that should be over ‘by now’. We move on. The year certainly did. There are a few months that I’m not even sure what really happened. It’s all a blur.

The people in your life when tragedy happens are never appreciated enough. You aren’t in a space where you can appreciate them and by the time you are, so much time has passed it seems strange to even mention it. I’m so grateful for so many people surrounding this, I just need to show some of that gratitude:

– My wife. I was stuck in Las Vegas on February 21, 2019. Vegas had measurable snow for the first time in a decade. I got the call my Mom had died. I was stuck. No planes in or out for 24 hours. My wife and sister had to take on the responsibility of the most terrible thing that has ever happen to us. I’m always in control. I’m the one the family turns to. I was locked in a hotel room in Vegas. Helpless. She did it. She handled it all. I’m beyond grateful for all of that.

– My right-hand lady in business, Teresa Carper. I have this awesome, smart, caring, woman who works beside me. She lets me big ideas, and she executes. We’ve worked side-by-side for a decade, and she was also close to my mom. No way I make it through the year without her. Really the entire HRU team has had to put up with me basically being someone else for the most of the year. I’m beyond grateful for their patience.

– My best friend, Kris Dunn. I’ve taken Kris’s call when his mom passed and had plenty of talks about his parents and their impact on his life. KD had to take that call from me this year. Two grown-ass men talking about feelings (that could be a great podcast I think!).  It’s unusual in our world where guys can have this and I’m grateful for my friendship with Kris.

– My family – I’ve got this super weird, extended family dynamic that is a sitcom waiting to happen, but I had so many of my family step up in great ways. It’s too much to go into each one, but I’m so grateful for their support.

– My friends – The night in Vegas when I got the call I was just walking out of my room to dinner with Carmen Hudson. I was speaking the next morning at Recruiting Trends. I called Carmen in shock, told her what happened, and this amazing woman took control. I don’t even really remember the conversation with her. She just made all of that stuff I was responsible for go away. I’m grateful for friends stepping up at the moment.

– My mom. Since I was little, my Mom put me in a position to have high confidence in myself. She didn’t do that with everyone, but she did with me. That helped me succeed at a lot of stuff. She also fired me, which probably was the single biggest thing she did to help me become successful. I wasn’t ready, as a business person, to run her company. I was an asshole. Or at least I acted like an asshole way too often. Getting fired by your mom sticks with you for a while!

When the time came on February 22, 2019, to take over the business (for real) and take on leading the family, I was ready because of all those things my mom did for me. It wasn’t always fun. I didn’t always like her for doing what she did, but I was ready. I’m grateful for my Mom helping me be ready to take on all of this responsibility.

I could have listed a thousand people I’m grateful for. It’s a bit overwhelming and heartwarming that I have so many. I can definitely count my blessings in so many ways. I don’t think 2019 was my best year. It was good, but I was really knocked off-center for a bit. My hope is 2020 will be a better year in terms of focus. My plan is to write my second book and have it launched in 2021! (Oh, God, I’ve been contemplating this, but now it’s out in the universe, I better make it happen!)

I’m also launching a new podcast with my friends, Kris Dunn and Jessica Lee, called “HR Famous”! You should see episodes up by Mid-January. I’m speaking all over the place. I want to do more video work. Of course, I’ll be writing and sharing my thoughts, ideas, and reactions. Thank you for being with me on this journey. I’m grateful to have this platform and so many people who find it interesting.

 

 

The Best of 2019! The Judy Rules!

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I’m on a holiday break. Boys are home, we’re going on a trip. So, I’ve put together a Best of 2019 post list for you to enjoy. I’ll be back after the holidays with new stuff and some cool announcements for 2020! This post was written in Feb. 2019 after my Mom’s passing – such a great read!

For those who don’t know my mother passed away unexpectedly late last week and earlier this week, I gave her eulogy. Thank you to the hundreds of friends who reached out to me. I completely overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support.

For those who don’t know my mother started the business, I run today, HRU Technical Resources, and was a big part of the business for forty years. Click on this link and take a look at the picture of my Mom – that was taken the first week she started the company. She was 32 years old!

As you can imagine, as a son, I never in a million years thought of giving a eulogy to my own mother, and the woman I’ve worked for, for nearly two decades. At work, she was Judy, at home, she was Mom. Growing up, I’m sure my boys were very confused!

She was the queen of rules and so when I sat down to write the eulogy I came up with the Rules that I think symbolized her life the best. I wanted to share because I think there’s learning in them for all of us. Enjoy:

Rule #1: It only costs a little more to go first class.

So, she told me she stole this from my Poppi (my grandfather). And for those who travel, you actually know this is far from true! It costs a ton more to go first class!

But she said this all the time, and for her, it really meant if you’re going to do something, do it right, do it “first-class”. No one wants second-class, so if you have the time and resources, go all the way.

It’s really a great way to live your life. First-class doesn’t mean the most expensive. For Judy, it was more of how you made others feel and what experience you could give them. When the grandkids came to visit, she wanted them to feel special, she wanted them to have a first-class experience.

Rule #2 – You have to say Yes to adventure.

Judy was fearless! When she was younger she road motorcycles, water skied, did all kinds of crazy stuff. She wanted to live on the edge and experience things. We have pictures of her riding jet skis, snowmobiles, mopeds, etc. She loved speed.

She also loved to travel and see all kinds of places – mostly in the U.S. She often said that there were so many places to see in the U.S., she couldn’t see flying all over the world, when she still had so many great places to see right here at home.

Judy was that person who was pushing you do stuff you probably didn’t want to do, and she was such a great salesperson, you usually ended up doing it!

Rule #3 – Call them again.

I remember coming into her office one day when I first started working as a recruiter for her. I had called an entire file of resumes and no one wanted the job I had to fill. I went in and said, no one wants this job, I called every single one, I don’t know what to do next.

She simply looked at me and said, “Call them all, again!”

But I already called them! Are you listening to me!

Yep – call them again.

So, I leave, pissed off, and go back to my desk and I’m like what the heck am I going to do calling all these guys again. But I did it. I called them again, and I’m like, “I’m sorry, I know I just called you, but I really need to find someone for this job. Is there anything you can do to help me?” And guess what, they did!?

Judy knew if I called them again and asked them in a different way, or asked them different questions, they all had some piece of knowledge that would help me. I didn’t do it the first time. I only asked them the one question – do you want this job. They didn’t. But Judy knew they knew someone who might or someone who knew someone, etc.

While you would think this is only a recruiter’s story it isn’t. It’s a life story. It’s about getting something positive out of every interaction you have. Yes, they had something I needed, and if I could give them something they needed, it would most likely work out for both of us.

Rule #4 – People have no idea how successful they can be until you push them out of their comfort zone.

This was more of a core philosophy of Judy’s then a rule!  Judy saw something in most people that they didn’t see in themselves.

She really didn’t know anything else. If she knew you, and she cared about you, she was going to push you past a point you felt comfortable with. What she knew in her soul was that each of us had the ability to be successful, but the vast majority of us are unwilling to push ourselves to the point of being uncomfortable.

So many people hated my Mom for doing this. They thought she was a tyrant! But some actually had that lightbulb moment afterward and got it. “You know, I never would have reached this level if it wasn’t for Judy pushing me beyond a point that I never thought I could reach!”

I think this is what she enjoyed most out of running a company. She LOVED to see people succeed beyond a point they never thought they could achieve. There was no greater joy for her. Even beyond her own success, what she really wanted was to see those who she cared about succeed.

Rule #5 – Only you can decide what attitude you have. No one else can choose that for you.

My mom was mostly a positive person. If she caught herself feeling down, she would force herself back to positive. If those around her were negative, she would get very irritated by that and work to get them to be positive.

Without knowing it, she was actually using a very good psychological trick. Have you ever watched a video of a baby laughing? The pure joy of that. No matter what attitude you’re in, you can’t help but to smile or even laugh yourself.

Judy knew that even if she wasn’t feeling positive, if she made herself be positive, it would actually change her brain chemistry and she would start to feel positive, and once she was feeling positive, she would be positive.

It seems too simplistic to work, but it works! Turns out, if you want to be positive, just start acting positive and pretty soon positive stuff will start happening!

Rule #6 – You don’t need a man for anything, unless there’s a car door, then you need a man to open your car door!

Remember when they were full-service gas stations!? The guys would come out and pump your gas why you stayed in your car. Clean your windows, etc. Now everything is self-service.

When self-service gas stations first came into vogue – Judy would drive up and just sit there and wait. Eventually, someone guy would get out of his car behind her and come up to her window and ask if something was wrong. She would say No, and hand him $20 dollars telling him to fill it up! And they would!

Don’t get me wrong – my Mom loved men. She loved being chased by men. She loved them getting her flowers and gifts. She loved them taking her to dinner and dancing. She loved the game. But it was a game for her. There were very few things in life she needed from a man, and she loved that feeling!

Rule #7 – If you force me to make an immediate decision, you’re going to get an emotional decision. If you give me time to contemplate this decision, you’ll get a much better decision.

This rule saved my relationship with my Mom/my Boss. For those who don’t know. My mom fired me. She fired me because I was young, and stupid, and full of fire and emotion (thankfully she hired me back a decade later!). I forced her to make decisions at the moment, and Judy did not like to be forced to do anything.

Upon my re-hire, many years later, we sat down and had some really great conversations and learned how to communicate with each other, and I learned this was something she actually needed. Judy was street smart, she wasn’t book smart. So, many of the things I wanted to do, as the business evolved were complex and she needed time to think about them and understand them.

If I gave her time, she almost always came back and we would make a better decision. Sometimes we don’t have the time, but if you do, give it and let the person do some thinking on it.

Rule #8 – If you look unsuccessful, you’re most likely going to be unsuccessful.

My mom hated casual Fridays!

She wanted all of us to wear suits and be clean-shaven and smell good. Wear a gold watch and drive a Cadillac, and that car better be clean, inside and out.

Now, you might look at this as old school thinking, but what she knew was it wasn’t about you. It was about how others view you. We all have a choice of who we work with. Do you want to work with a slob or someone who took the time and care to make themselves look great for you?

The world changes – but this still holds true. Why the fashion of the day changes and the world has become more casual in general. We are still drawn to people who have that look like they have their shit together. Especially, if we are going to be spending some money with them!

Rule #9 – When in doubt, laugh.

Something most people don’t know, my Mom loved laughing! She loved watching stand-up comedians, going to comedy clubs, watching comedy movies. Anything that could make her laugh, she was all in.

That’s where I come in.

I truly believe God put me on this earth to not only make my Mom laugh but to make all of these women in my life laugh (My grandmother is the matriarch of our family, my Mom was one of five daughters and my sister was the first grandchild, I was the second). Their lives haven’t always been easy. Quite frankly sometimes life sucked and was hard. There will probably be some hard times to come. Today is a hard time.

But, when I get them around the kitchen table and we start telling stories, I can get them laughing so hard they are literally crying. My mom loved to laugh and my gift to her was being able to make her laugh so often throughout her life.

This great big dance we do in life comes with some hard times and great times, and all along the way, when in doubt, laugh at it all!

 

The Best of 2019: The 3 Rules About Kissing Your Boss!

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I’m on a holiday break. Boys are home, we’re going on a trip. So, I’ve put together a Best of 2019 post list for you to enjoy. I’ll be back after the holidays with new stuff and some cool announcements for 2020! (This post was actually written in 2017, but for some reason got new life this year and was of the most read) 

May 20, 2013, I published a silly little post on my blog called “The Rules About Hugging at Work”. The post might have taken me twenty minutes to write. It was just an idea I got, like thousands of others, I thought it was funny, so I wrote about it. To date, it’s been read over 1 Million times. Huff Post picked it up, it went viral on LinkedIn (I got over 1300 comments), I’ve been interviewed and called, “The World’s Foremost Expert on Workplace Hugging”.

Twenty minutes of writing, a throwaway idea.

Months later I posted the exact same post on LinkedIn’s publishing platform. This was before everyone could publish (remember that), you had to be invited. I got a call from the LinkedIn chief editor offering me access. I didn’t know if it was really anything so I just threw up old posts I had already written but added a few new pieces.

On the Hugging post, I added at the bottom my next post would be: The 3 Rules About Kissing Your Boss! as a joke. I never wrote it. Until five years later I got a message last week from someone who found the hugging post for the first time asking how they could find the kissing post! I didn’t even know what they were talking about!

So, here’s the kissing post! 

It would be easy to dismiss the notion of kissing your boss as something that would never happen. When I say ‘never’ I mean never. I mean honestly do any of us ever feel it would be appropriate to kiss your boss!?

This one is hard for me. I come from a family of huggers and kissers! My father is 73 and he still kisses me on the lips when I greet him or say goodbye. Some folks would find that super weird. Different cultures do different things.

My son was overseas this summer visiting friends in Belgium and it was quite common for new people he met to give him that traditional kiss on the cheek, but he said those same people would not give you a hug or a handshake. This kiss on the cheek greeting is very common in many parts of the world.

In America, you would probably get punched in the face if you tried kissing someone on the cheek you were meeting for the first time! I mean, look, if I don’t know you, I certainly don’t want your germs all over my face! Most Europeans I meet for business purposes in the states who come here often have gotten used to handshakes, rarely do I see one of them do the cheek kiss greeting.

All of this is way different, though, then kissing your boss! Kissing your boss would have to be a special circumstance or special occasion. I’m guessing if you’re kissing your boss one of a few things probably hasn’t happened in that relationship. You’ve probably become very good friends, some once in a lifetime event is happening, or you’ve become romantically involved, in which case, not really your boss any longer!

So, if we can see a time in which you might kiss your boss, the great HR pro in me says we better put some pen to policy and make some rules! Here are my three rules for kissing your boss:

1. No kissing on the lips. Kissing on the lips is a slippery slope you can’t put back in the bag! Wants that happens you might as well just get undressed, stuff just got real! We’re going to assume this kiss is not romantic in nature, completely as professional as kissing your boss can be professional!

2. Do not leave moisture on your boss’s cheek. Okay, somehow we got down this rabbit hole to a point where I’m kissing my boss on his or her cheek, let’s not make this super awkward by leaving a nice big wet spot on the side of their face. If you’re so excited to be kissing your boss’s cheek that you leave it wet, you should be checked into a mental ward.

3. Do not have bad breath. First impressions are critical and even though your boss knows you, your boss doesn’t know the kissing you. Do not go in for that first boss kiss with bad breath! I love Ice Breakers Mints and I have some close by almost always. Why? I can’t stand bad breath. Coffee breath is the worst and I know a lot of you are major coffee drinkers! Guess what? Diet Mt Dew breath smells like a flower garden! Think about that next time you go for a fill-up at the coffee station at work!

See? That’s how you do it. That’s how the World’s Foremost Expert in Workplace Hugging becomes the World’s Foremost Expert on Boss Kissing. You can’t be a one-trick pony in this world folks, we all need to keep striving on reinventing ourselves. Watch out fall conference circuit! If you see Sackett coming I might have just raised the game!

So, hit me in the comments. What are your rules for kissing your boss!?

The Best of 2019: The Reason You’re Being Ghosted After an Interview!

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I’m on a holiday break. Boys are home, we’re going on a trip. So, I’ve put together a Best of 2019 post list for you to enjoy. I’ll be back after the holidays with new stuff and some cool announcements for 2020! 

Dear Timmy,

I recently applied for a position that I’m perfect for! A recruiter from the company contacted me and scheduled me for an interview with the manager. I went, the interview was a little over an hour and it went great! I immediately followed up with an email to the recruiter and the manager thanking them, but since then I’ve heard nothing and it’s been weeks. I’ve sent follow-up emails to both the recruiter and the manager and I’ve gotten no reply.

What should I do? Why do companies do this to candidates? I would rather they just tell me they aren’t interested than have them say nothing at all!

The Ghost Candidate

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Dear Ghost,

There are a number of reasons that recruiters and hiring managers ghost candidates and none of them are good! Here’s a short-list of some of these reasons:

– They hated you and hope you go away when they ghost you because conflict is uncomfortable.

– They like you, but not as much as another candidate they’re trying to talk into the job, but want to leave you on the back burner, but they’re idiots and don’t know how to do this properly.

– They decided to promote someone internally and they don’t care about candidate experience enough to tell you they went another direction.

– They have a completely broken recruitment process and might still be going through it believing you’re just as happy as a pig in shi…

– They think they communicated to you electronically to bug off through their ATS, but they haven’t audited the process to know this isn’t working.

– The recruiter got fired and no one picked up the process.

I would love to tell you that ghosting candidates are a rare thing, but it’s not! It happens all the time! There is never a reason to ghost a candidate, ever! Sometimes I believe candidates get ghosted by recruiters because hiring managers don’t give feedback, but that still isn’t an excuse I would accept, at least tell the candidate that!

Look, I’ve ghosted people. At conference cocktail parties, I’ve been known to ghost my way right back up to my room and go to sleep! When it comes to candidates, I don’t ghost! I would rather tell them the truth so they don’t keep coming back around unless I want them to come back around.

I think most recruiters ghost candidates because they’re over their heads in the amount of work they have, and they mean to get back to people, but just don’t have the time. When you’re in the firefighting mode you tend to only communicate with the candidates you want, not the ones you don’t. Is this good practice? Heck, no! But when you’re fighting fires, you do what you have to do to stay alive.

What would I do, if I was you? 

Here are a few ideas to try if you really want to know the truth:

1. Send a handwritten letter to the CEO of the company briefly explaining your experience and what outcome you would like.

2. Go on Twitter and in 140 characters send a shot across the bow! “XYZ Co. I interviewed 2 weeks ago and still haven’t heard anything! Can you help me!?” (Will work on Facebook as well!)

3. Write a post about your experience on LinkedIn and tag the recruiter and the recruiter’s boss.

4. Take the hint and go find a company that truly values you and your talent! If the organization and this manager treat candidates like this, imagine how you’ll be treated as an employee?