Category Archives: Life Lessons

The Real Reason Feedback Sucks in the Corporate World

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So, yeah, I’m really lucky to have what I’ll call “professional” friends, thankfully many of which I now consider personal friends, that are willing to give me ‘real’ feedback.

What is ‘real’ feedback, you ask?

When I suck, they tell me I suck.  When I’m brilliant they tell me I suck! Just kidding. When I’m brilliant they tell me I’m brilliant.  When I can be better, they tell me that as well.

I’m Lucky.

You can’t have this in normal work feedback.

You see there are two things in a normal work feedback loop that make it impossible for you to accept and deliver real feedback.  One is competition. The other is trust.

My friends have only one intent when they give me feedback. They want me to be the best I can be at whatever it is I’m trying to be.  I/They feel absolutely no competition with me on any level.  When I do something great, they’re cheering for me.  When they do something great, I’m cheering for them.  We only want to see each other succeed. When you are delivering feedback from a place where your ONLY intent is to see the other person truly have success, then you can deliver ‘real’ feedback.

The other aspect is trust.  I must trust with all my being that they only want to see me succeed.  This way I’ll accept their feedback with nothing but positive intent and gratefulness, that they are willing to help me succeed.   When this happens, it’s magical.

I never feel defensive when my friends tell me I didn’t do ‘well’ (hat tip to Professor Marcus Stewart) enough.  I feel energized that I need to do better.  When they tell me I’m brilliant, I walk around on a cloud all day, because I know I was truly brilliant in that moment. They wouldn’t tell me otherwise.  I trust that.

That’s why feedback sucks in the corporate world.  Competition and lack of trust.  You and your boss and your peers are in a competition with each other.  You are all competing to reach the next level, many times at the sacrifice of one another. That’s why you never truly believe the feedback you’re getting.  It might be buried way deep down, but it’s there, a lack of trust that they really want to see you ‘fully’ succeed.  Succeed so much, you might take their job, or rise above them.

Feedback is different when your only intent is that you truly wish the greatest success possible for the person you are delivering it to, and they trust that it is the case.

Just a little something to strive for today, leaders.

 

7 Rules for your Office Halloween Party

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Is your office dressing up for Halloween?

Mine isn’t.  It’s not that I wouldn’t.  Okay, I wouldn’t.  But if others wanted to, I wouldn’t say “no”.  I mean everyone has that one person in their office that’s a little way too excited over Halloween.  I get it.  I have kids.  They lose their minds at the thought of free candy and dressing up.  But you’re an adult, let’s try and keep it together here at the office.

That is why I think it’s important to Rules for your Office Halloween Party.  Here’s mine:

1. Racism theme costumes never go over like you thought they would when you were drunk and came up with the concept. “No, really, we’re going as the black KKK!” Just don’t do it.

2. Anything with ‘naughty’ in the title isn’t work appropriate. Naughty Teacher, Naughty Nurse, Naughty Witch — you get the idea.  The only time this would work is when taking the opposite stance — Naughty Human Resource Manager is totally appropriate.  This costume consists of a cat sweater, hair in bun, long skirt (pants or skort), old lady panty hose and 6 inch pumps. Sexy!

3. Don’t be the ‘guy’ offering “tricks” all day. That’s just creepy.  Also, don’t be the ‘gal’ offering “tricks” all day. That’s just slutty.

4. Anything that interferes with your ability to do your actual job, shouldn’t be a costume selection.  “Well, I didn’t think about how me being a Rubic’s Cube for the day would get in the way to me being a nurse.”

5. Dressing up like the boss is always in good taste, but only if your boss doesn’t hate you.

6. If you have to put a sign on to explain what you are, go back to the drawing board.  ” Wait, you see I’m ‘Hard to Get Along With'” Yeah, we got it…

7. If less than half your staff will be dressing up, you need to cancel dressing up.  At that point, it’s just sad.

In HR we love our dress code rules and for Halloween parties why should we be different!  What your favorite Halloween party rules at the office?

You Need a Professional Tribe

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One of the things I speak about when presenting to HR pros is there need to become part of the ‘Tribe’.  Meaning, if you want to have your seat at the table, you want to gain influence with your leadership team, you need to become part of that tribe.  How do you do that? Well, every tribe is different, you need to figure that out. There is no magical answer, but my guess is they have or do something in common. Find out what that is, and slowly work yourself into that tribe!

HR people struggle with this concept.

“Tim, I just want to do my job and go home!”  Okay.  Then stop bitching that you’re not getting any respect from your executives.  You’re choosing not to be part of that tribe.  Tribes take care of themselves.

You see, most HR pros place themselves on a professional island.  Just Tom Hanks in Cast Away, they’re all by themselves, plus maybe there own little ‘Wilson’ comfort toy picked up at a SHRM conference, a Monster stuffed animal, a Careerbuilder ‘recruiter’ doll, you know the ones!

I have a really, really cool tribe.  In fact, I have many tribes.  First and foremost of have my family.  My HRU tribe is next.  I probably spend more time with them, then my real family on a daily basis!  I also have a number of other personal tribes around youth sports, neighborhood, etc.

My FOT tribe is professionally very cool and satisfying. It’s a group of HR and Talent bloggers who are super smart and snarky, and they make me laugh every day.  I support this tribe and they support me.  They make my professional world better.  They help make me get excited about what I do, and how I do it.  They challenge me to be better. There are many subsets of that tribe, like the 8 Man Rotation tribe, the greater HR blogger tribe, etc.

Tribes are important.

HR and Talent Acquisition pros need to take down their locked HR office doors. Take them right off the hinges.  Get out and start getting involved with professional tribes.  Start in your own organization first.  Do you support a department or client group?  Get into that tribe, now!  Go to lunch with them. Go for drinks after work on Friday.  Bake cookies and bring them to the tribes.  All tribes like to eat and drink! Never underestimate the importance of being a part of that tribe.

I hear from HR pros who tell me all the time, “Tim, ‘they’ just won’t listen to me. How do I get them to listen?”  My first question is to ask them what relationship they have with whomever isn’t listening. That answer is usually, none, or next to none.  They aren’t part of that tribe. That’s the real problem.

I’m not saying it’s easy to break into every tribe. It might not be, but that shouldn’t stop you from trying.  Also, you can create your own professional tribes.  There are so many people just like you that just want to be a part of a tribe.  Go find them! Start a tribe.  You’ll be better for it.

Unlimited Vacation Policies Suck!

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Well, it had to happen, unlimited vacation policies have jumped the shark!  Billionaire Richard Branson announced this week his company, Virgin Group, would begin offering unlimited vacation to all corporate employees. Here’s a statement from Richard:

“Take a holiday whenever you want. Take as much holiday as you want. We’re not going to keep a check on how much holiday you take,” he said in a CNN interview…”Treat people as human beings, give them that flexibility and I don’t think they’ll abuse it. And they’ll get the job done,”

Here’s what Richard knows, it’s been proven time and again, study after study, that companies that implement unlimited vacation policies actually show a decrease in vacation time used, not an increase!  He’s not making a decision based on people, he’s making a decision based on business.  That’s how you become a billionaire, and not a thousandaire!

One other issue I have with the announcement, is him saying ‘we’re not going to be checking”.  Really!?  You aren’t going to have anyone checking who and how much vacation is being used. What if you have some employees not using any vacation at all?  Isn’t that a problem?  Shouldn’t someone be ‘checking’ on this?

Let’s face it, unlimited vacation day policies were garbage the moment companies discovered that the psychology of these policies was causing their employees to actually take less time off, not more time.

We all write and design policies we think will have benefit to our employees and the organization.  It’s a balancing act.  As soon as you come out publicly with a policy and state it’s a ‘benefit’ to your employees, when you know it isn’t a ‘benefit’ to your employees, you lose credibility.

The design of unlimited vacation policies were broken to begin with, but we got sucked into the dream of taking every Friday off, and taking a 3 week holiday in the summer to some island.  Then reality kick us in the teeth and we realized what would actually happen if we tried doing something like that.  It’s hard enough to use the time you had given to you previously, and your leadership team made your employees feel like crap when they did have to use it.

Unlimited time off was designed to be trap.  Let’s see which poor sucker will actually try and use it, and then we know which person is least engaged and not fully on the bus!  No one will say this, because the companies using these policies think they’re saving the world one stupid app at a time.

The reality of most work environment is you are hired to do a specific job.  When you are not there that job doesn’t get done, or at the very least gets put on hold for the period of time you’re gone.  So, you, taking off all this wonderful vacation time, only means your job really doesn’t get done.  This becomes a performance issue, and/or a resource issue, since now we have to hire someone else to pick up your slack while you’re out on ‘holiday’.

How long do you think you’ll keep your wonderful job, with unlimited vacation, when your organization is having to bring in other people to do the job you are supposed to be doing?

Yep. Not long.

What’s a better alternative?

Design the amount of time off around business needs.  I’m in the Midwest, most companies are a ghost town between December 23 and January 2 or so, depending on the calendar. They are also empty Thanksgiving weekend.  Throw in a few days around July 4th, and a week for spring break, and you have almost 3 full weeks of vacation time.  Your employees now have sick time, doctors and dentists appointments, a day here or there for personal business (banking, family, etc.), there goes another week.  How about a real vacation?  You know the kind where you sit at home with a list of a thousand things to do, but spend four days watching Netflix!  Now, we’re at 5 weeks.

5 weeks of total time off, probably works for about 99% of people in the world.  Anymore and it’s hard to actually do your job.

HR’s Ebola Crisis Plan!

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Wait for it…

Any minute now some executive is going to come into your office and ask ‘you’ what you’re doing about this Ebola outbreak!

I’m not trying to slight the importance and the tragedy that disease is currently on path to creating in West Africa, it’s horrific.  But our American media is bringing this to hysteria levels in the states!  As of my time writing this, there are 3 confirmed cases of Ebola in the U.S. and one death.

Yesterday in the U.S., approximately, this many people died from:

  • Heart Disease: 1,637
  • Cancer: 1,574
  • Stroke: 354
  • Accidents: 331
  • The Flu: 139

That’s each day people!

But, you my fellow HR Pro are going to have to answer this question very, very soon.  What is ‘your’ plan to address Ebola?

Not, hey how about we actually fund our Wellness program properly and maybe we can really save some of our employees from what’s going to kill them!  Eating crappy food, smoking, drinking themselves to death, texting while driving, NOT getting the freaking Flu shot we pay for!  I could go on…

But, here’s your plan for Ebola, it will keep your executive off your back, so you can get back to real work:

Step 1 – We are going to insist all of our employees get Flu Shots this season. Why? Because Ebola symptoms mirror Flu symptoms, so it’s just a matter of time until Tammy, our inhouse hypochondriac, comes to me telling me she has Ebola and the entire staff freaks out!

Step 2 – We are going to communicate with our employees about the realities of how one catches Ebola.  The CDC has many of these documents and videos.

Step 3– We are going to tell our employees if they have a fever, to stay home until it’s gone.  Also, let them know that fevers actually can happen on any day, not just Mondays and Fridays.

Step 4 – We are going to give some statistics about the risks of one of our employees catching Ebola in cute little pictures.  Like one that shows a person getting struck by lightening and eaten by a shark at the same time. You have more of a chance of this happening than contracting Ebola in the U.S.

Step 5 –  You will keep asking the executive who asked you about your Ebola Crisis Plan if they are feeling well, because they don’t look well?!?!

Seriously, though, get your employees to get a Flu shot this season!  It might be the one thing that will help them out. Not against Ebola, but with actually keeping themselves healthy.  They don’t need help from Ebola, yet.

Dream Jobs Are A Lie

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I hate that we are meant to feel that we should have our dream job.  It’s drilled into our society at nausea from mass media, our celebrities, our teachers and spiritual leaders. It’s all basically complete bullshit, but we eat it up like it came directly from G*d.

It didn’t.  Whichever G*d you believe in, she/he never said ‘Thou shalt have your dream job’, never.

Celebrities stand on award stages and tell our children to never give up their dreams, you can do whatever you want.  No.  No, they can’t.  Let’s face it, Mr. Celebrity, you were given a gift, most people don’t have that same gift, so stop telling my kid they can be you.

I know this upsets some people.  They love to live in a fantasy world that someday they stop working their 9 to 5 and start being a fairy princess.  I hate to tell you this, but you won’t.  Sorry, Billy, you’re an overweight short kid with bad eye sight and irrational fear of clouds.  You won’t be the next NFL Hall of Fame quarterback.  But you might be a really awesome Accountant, and that’s not a bad gig.

I don’t have my dream job.

I have a job I like a lot.

My dream job would be to make a ton of money managing and/or coaching a professional sports team. I would take basketball or baseball.  I really think I would be happy with either.

I know that won’t ever work out for me, so I don’t spend much time really thinking about it.  It would be stupid for me to do so.  But that’s my ‘dream’.

If it’s my dream, shouldn’t I give up everything I have and chase it?  Give up my well-paying, really good job.  Give up my house.  My kids college education.  My retirement account.  I mean this is MY dream!

Mr. Celebrity said I can reach my dreams.  We all can.  We just have to want it more.  We just have to not give up striving for it.

I met a person last week who said he had his ‘dream job’.  It was a good job, but he also told me he missed his kids, because his dream job made him travel a lot.  He also said his dream job had him working harder than he ever had prior.  The longer he talked, the longer it didn’t sounded like a dream job, and the more it sounded just like every other job.

The concept of dream jobs is bullshit.  That’s okay.  The sun will still come up tomorrow, even if you tell yourself I’ll never have my dream job.  You’ll be alright.  You can still have a really good, awesome life.

Be wary of someone telling you to chase your dream job.

Is Your Personal Strength Your Biggest Weakness?

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I’ve always been a huge fan of adult learners ignoring their weaknesses and focusing on bettering their strengths.  This goes against almost every single OD department in the corporate world where employee weaknesses have to be improved at all costs!  Adult learning studies have proven time and again that after a certain point in a person’s life, usually once reaching adulthood, focus on improving a weak skill will still only slightly improve even with focused training. But, you can see better increases when focusing on bettering an adults strengths.

Let me give you a personal example, I’m terrible a grammar, always have been.  I see grammar rules as something that are only important to high school English teachers. But, I love to write! Now, I could spend hours on improving my grammar, or I could spend those hours on writing better creative content, then hiring an editor to fix the crap I write.   Seems simple enough.  Hire an editor.  Bam, people will think I’m a better writer.

But what happens when you overuse a personal strength?

I know quite a few people who have been told and given performance feedback that you have “great attention to detail” (by the way I love these folks – I hire them on my team – because they help catch my grammar mistakes!).  You get told this, you take pride in it, and you now “really” focus on it, because that is what you’re known for.

Your company has a big important project and everyone needs to deliver. Major time crunch.  You get the deal.  You become involved because you want every detail perfect and you want to ensure nothing leaves with an error. Seems good, right?  Except for the fact that you can’t deliver on time because nothing is good enough.  You keep sending stuff back to get better, to get perfect and you miss deadlines.  One small example in our normal corporate lives, but it shows how a person’s strength, something they are applauded for, can become a weakness.

Do you know what your personal strength’s are?  I bet you probably do, but do you know if you are relying on these strengths so much, they are becoming your enemy?

I’ve been told a strength of mine is that I “will tell it like it is”.  Not a bad strength to have on a leadership team – until it is.  There are times and places where “telling like it is” is very valuable, and their are times “when telling it like is is” is very dangerous.  Remember, not all of your strengths will always be strengths!

Fall In Love With Ideas

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I use to have this issue.  I would come up with an idea.  I really, really good idea!  I would then work to make this idea a reality.  I would spend a lot of time, energy and resources making this idea come to life.  The work became more important than the idea.

Someone really smart would come along and want to change my work.  It would frustrate me. It would anger me.  I didn’t like them messing with my work.

I fell in love with the work.  With the process.

The work and my processes became more important to me than the original idea.  I was blind to see that those who were coming to me, to try and get me to change my work, were in love with my idea, but not in love with my work.

It took me along time to understand the value wasn’t in the work, it was in the idea.  Anyone can do the work.  The work can be done a number of different ways to get the same result. But the idea was the creation, the start.  Without it, there wouldn’t be any work.

So many of the HR Pros I know have this same issue.  We take great pride in our work, so much so, that we don’t allow others to come in and help make our ideas better.  We don’t allow them to get on board and be a part of something special.  Our pride, blinds us to see just maybe there might be even a better way to make our ideas become reality.

Fall in love with the idea. Don’t fall in love with the work.

What Messaging Tool Should You Pick To Tell Off Your Boss?

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The messaging technology today is ridiculous!  There are so many ways to communicate it sometimes becomes really difficult to determine which technology to use for which messages. Think about it terms of breaking up.  I remember the first girl I had to break up with in middle school.  I had basically three ways to tell this girl I no longer ‘wanted to go out’, which entailed see each other at school. It wasn’t so much of going out, as it was meeting at school.

I could go right up to her face and tell her like a man.  But I wasn’t a man, I was a boy, and that seemed like a really awkward way to communicate, face to face. I could write her a note, give it to my buddy, who would give to her best friend, who would then give it to her.  This was the popular way but fraught with peril, as the message in these notes seemed to travel faster than the actual note.  I could call her on the home phone. This always seemed best to me, but you still risked her mom or dad picking up, and that was a fate worse than the death!

I was listening to a couple of people talk the other day in a coffee shop, and the one was telling the other, she was finally going to tell off her boss. She had enough! You go girl! But, there was a problem. No way did she want to do this face to face. She had to determine the exact right way to do it, that came across professional, but also got the message across she was serious.  (Yes, I listen to your conversation when I’m at a coffee shop acting like I’m working on my laptop)

I wanted to break in and help this poor girl with this problem, but that’s super creepy, so instead I’ll just fill you in on my take on each method:

1. Email – Seems like the logical communication method, knowing you don’t want to speak face to face. The problem is, it’s also very easy to copy and forward to HR.  From a professional standpoint it’s hard to really give it to your boss on email, because you know it’s will be used against you.  Still, I believe most people would use email.

2. Twitter – Probably the passive aggressive way to tell off your boss that is now in use!  Twitter has become the playground for the disengaged workforce of our generation.  You can tell off your boss and there is a 97% chance they’ll never see it, but many of your coworkers and friends will, and you’ll feel better. Plus, how much trouble can you actually get in with only 140 characters?

3. Facebook – First off, are you really ‘friends’ with your boss on Facebook!?  If so, Facebook messaging could actually work for telling off your boss. Definitely a bit more personal than other methods, and it’s likely your boss would probably take it that way as well.  It’s really more of a scream for help, than a tell off, though.  If you actually post the tell off of your boss publicly on Facebook, well that’s just career suicide.

4. SnapChat – Smart move, because chances are your boss is older than you and will have no idea what’s going on until it’s too late to really do anything to copy it. But it’s logistically a nightmare, because you first have to get your boss to sign up with a snapchat account, which seems like a lot of work and hand holding to eventually just tell them off! But, I can still see this being better than doing it face to face for many people!

5. Skype with video – Better than just a telephone call, this one they can at least see you, and you them but you can always click off quickly and claim technology problems.  This way you get all the benefit of telling them off to their face, but don’t have to wait around for their awkward measured responses.

6. Yammer – Okay, I’ll wait, go look it up.  It’s like your own personal social network for your organization.  Kind of like Twitter, but only for your own employees.  This would be an epic way to get yourself fired, but probably not a great tool to tell off your boss!

I still like my 13 year old boy way the best.  Tell one of your coworkers, who you know can’t keep a secret (you know the ones), all the issues you have with your boss.  Wait about 3-4 hours and go in casually to ask your boss about a project.  Your boss will ask you to come in and be super, super nice for some odd reason, almost like someone went and told him or her that you had a problem with them…

I’m Hiring! Are you sure you want to work for me?

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Okay, I’m adding a Recruiter to my team.  At hru-tech.com, we do mostly engineering and IT contract recruiting, some direct placement recruiting and some project RPO work for clients around the country.

I would put my team up against anyone.  They’re that good, and most are homegrown!  That’s right, the majority of our staff came in entry level and we smacked off that new car smell like an old bag of Taco Bell that’s been sitting in your back seat for three weeks in the summer.

I started looking around and getting the word out a couple days ago.  You would think it would be easy.  I don’t really ask for a lot, but I sure know it when I ‘hear’ it!   Recruiting is a pretty good gig.  It’s transferable. I’ve worked in 5 different states, 4 different industries and my recruiting skills I can take with me anywhere.  It’s the one thing I can guarantee you if you come work for me. You’ll always be able to find a job and make money.  Every economy needs good recruiters.

The pay is way better than your normal crappy sales jobs selling cell phones or renting cars to people that bring in their phone bill and a report card. The hours are pretty good. No weekends. A few nights here and there.  You get to interact with a great group of people. The latest and greatest recruiting tools.

What’s crazy to me is how hard it is to find people who want to do this job, and that can be good at it!  I like for people to have a four-year degree.  The actual degree isn’t as important, as the process of gaining that degree.  I find those who worked their way through college, tend to be better recruiters.  Bartenders might be the best previous job if I was forced to pick one. Any kind of job that had you on the phone talking to people would be second.

There’s also a need for people who don’t freak out when they are held accountable for results.  That eliminates most people who want to work in government or big companies.  My recruiters don’t sit around and wait to get paid.  So, self-motivation is important, as long as it’s targeted in the right direction.

Work-life balance is really important to me.  Hold on, let me define work-life balance.  Work-life balance is when you do enough work that I pay you so you can have things and do things you want to do.  It’s not you doing whatever you want at any time you feel.  That’s not balance.  Balance means equal both ways, work and life.

We aren’t saving the world.  For some people that’s really important.  We do find people some really, really good jobs.  Some people find that cool and rewarding.

I care about you as a person, and I want to see you be wildly successful.  I’ll treat you like family. The family that you actually like, not the ones you try to forget about.

The position is in Lansing, MI. No, you can’t work remote or virtual or on a boat, unless the boat is in the parking lot of our building, then you can work on a boat.

So, if you’re interested send me a note – sackett.tim@hru-tech.com.  

If you are interested, and I don’t think you’re a fit, I will actually tell you why I don’t think you’re fit.  Some people like that. Some people think they’ll like that.  Some people don’t like that at all!