Rerun – The 11 Rules for Hugging at Work

Posted on April 1, 2016 by Tim Sackett

It’s Spring Break in Michigan, so I’m going to step away from the daily grind and throw some Reruns at you! You guys remember Rerun, from What’s Happening? (look it up, kids!) So, enjoy the Reruns, they’re some of my favorites!

Originally ran February 2014 –

Hello. My name is Tim Sackett, and I’m a hugger. Being a hugger can make for some awkward moments – what if the other person isn’t expecting a, or doesn’t want to, hug and you’re coming in arms-wide-open!?

Fast Company has an article recently titled: To Hug Or Not To Hug At Work? by Drake Baer, that delved into this subject. Here’s a piece from the article:

“the uncomfortable feeling you get when you realize that your concept of your relationship with someone else doesn’t match their concept. The intensity of awkwardness roughly corresponds to the magnitude of difference in relationship concepts.”

I consider myself to have a number of roles: Husband, Dad, Coach, Boss, Friend, Coworker, etc. In each of those roles I’ve hugged and will continue to hug. Sometimes, though rarely, I’ll find someone who isn’t a hugger. The first time I ever met Kris Dunn face-to-face, we’ve had known each other and talked frequently by phone for a year, at the HR Tech Conference – he was coming out of a session, I recognized him, he recognized me, and I went full ‘bro-hug’ (sideways handshake, other arm hug-back slap combo) on him, and I’m pretty sure he was caught off guard – but played along. Kris is a closet hugger.

Kris is a closet hugger. Jason Seiden, he’s a hugger. So are Laurie Ruettimann and Dawn Burke. I find Southern folks are huggers, more than Northern. Western more than Eastern. Canadians more than Americans. Men feel much more comfortable hugging women than other men. Women will hug just about anything – coworkers, babies, puppies, old people, friends, people they don’t even like, etc.

I thought it was about time we had some hugging rules for the office, so here goes:

The Hugging Rules

1. Don’t Hug those you supervise. (The caveats: You can hug a subordinate if: it’s being supportive in a non-creepy way (major family or personal loss – sideways, kind of arm around the shoulder, you care about them hug); it’s at a wedding and you are congratulating them; it’s a hug for a professional win (promotion, giant sale, big project completion, etc.) and it’s with a group, not alone in your office with the lights off; you would feel comfortable with your spouse standing next you and watching that specific hug.)

2. Hug your external customers or clients when they initiate hugging sequence. (The caveats: Don’t hug if: it is required to get business – that’s not hugging, that harassment. Don’t let hugs last more than a second or two, or it gets creepy; Don’t mention the hug afterward, that makes you seem creepy!)

3. Don’t Hug the office person you’re having an affair with in the office. (no explanation needed)

4. Hug peers, not just every day. (It’s alright to hug, but you don’t need to do it every day for people you see every day. Save some up and make it special!)

5. When you Hug, hug for real. (Nothing worse than the ‘fake hug’! A fake hug is worse than a non-Hug.)

6. Don’t whisper – ‘You smell good’ – when hugging someone professionally. (That’s creepy – in fact don’t whisper anything while hugging!)

7. Don’t close your eyes while hugging professionally. (That’s weird and a bit stalkerish)

8. It is alright to announce a Hug is coming. (Some people will appreciate a – ‘Hey! Come here I’m giving you a hug – it’s been a long time!’)

9. It’s never alright to Hug from behind. (Creepier!)

10. Never Hug in the restroom. (Make for awkward moment when other employees walk in and see that.)

11. If you’re questioning yourself whether it will be alright to Hug someone professionally – that is your cue that it probably isn’t.

Do you have any hugging rules for the office?

Reruns – Beautiful Things Don’t Ask For Attention

Posted on March 31, 2016 by Tim Sackett

Originally ran January 2013 –

Over the holidays, I got a chance to see the movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

Sean Penn plays freelance professional photographer Sean O’Connell. Walter Mitty is played by Ben Stiller. At one point Walter is searching for Sean to get an important negative and he finds Sean in some distant mountains, overseas, trying to capture a photo of a wild snow leopard. Sean says this line when explaining to Walter why he goes to such lengths to get a photo:

“Beautiful things don’t ask for attention.”

In context or out, it’s a hugely profound line. Sean isn’t necessarily speaking to the snow leopards outward beauty but saying something truly beautiful, inside and out, doesn’t ask for attention, nor necessarily want attention. Each of us defines beauty differently, so this statement takes on a different meaning for all of us.

I love this, I’ll leave it at that.

When Take Your Kid To Work Goes Too Far!

Posted on March 18, 2016 by Tim Sackett

If you haven’t heard by now, Chicago White Sox player Adam LaRoche decided to retire and walk away from a guaranteed $13 million dollars because the White Sox asked him to bring his kid to work a little less. Yes, you read that correctly.

Apparently, LaRoche, who signed with the White Sox last year and made $12.5 million liked to bring his 13-year-old son to spring training with him. He asked the White Sox if it was alright if he brought his kid to spring training, and they said yes, believing the kid would come for some batting practice once in a while and hang out in the clubhouse. Little did they know, LaRoche actually had his kid with him 100% of the time he was at the facility!

A statement from Ken Williams, the President of the White Sox:

“There has been no policy change with regards to allowance of kids in the clubhouse, on the field, the back fields during spring training. This young man that we’re talking about, Drake, everyone loves this young man. In no way do I want this to be about him.

“I asked Adam, said, ‘Listen, our focus, our interest, our desire this year is to make sure we give ourselves every opportunity to focus on a daily basis on getting better. All I’m asking you to do with regard to bringing your kid to the ballpark is dial it back.’

“I don’t think he should be here 100 percent of the time – and he has been here 100 percent, every day, in the clubhouse. I said that I don’t even think he should be here 50 percent of the time. Figure it out, somewhere in between.”

So, the internet went crazy supporting Adam LaRoche on this with the #FamilyFirst hashtag and set the White Sox up as “evil” because they wouldn’t allow a player, that they are paying $13 million to, to have his kid at the workplace full time!

I get it, the internet is mostly stupid.

This is a family issue. Bob the electrician down at the GM plant. Guess what, he never gets to bring his kid to work, and Bob doesn’t think GM should allow him to bring his kid to work. Bob makes $50,000 a year. If Adam wanted to spend more time with his kids, maybe he should choose a career that doesn’t put him on a the road 200 days a year.

I do have another idea, that no one is talking about.

Adam LaRoche made $12.5 Million dollars last year in his 12th MLB season. He hit .200, his worst year ever. This year the White Sox were going to have to pay him $13 million, and he’s not getting better.

Maybe Ken Williams was just doing some good old performance management! Hey, Adam, you’re sucking, maybe it’s time to leave the kid at home and start focusing on hitting the curve a little better. We are paying you way more than you’re worth at this point! Knowing that telling him he can’t bring his kid to work, will potentially do one of two things – 1. he’ll retire and we don’t have to overpay for talent; or 2. he’ll actually get a wake-up call and start hitting. Either way, the White Sox win.

How do I know this is potentially true? Take the same scenario and use a different player, like Miguel Cabrera of the Detroit Tigers, arguably the top player in baseball. If Miggy wanted to bring his son to spring training, or he would retire, what do you think the Tigers would do? If you’re performing, you get perks. Miggy’s kid would be shagging balls in the outfield, I can tell you that!

Adam LaRoche isn’t a hero from walking away from $13 million dollars to spend time with his son. He’s already made $78.5 million in the last 12 years. He and his son can both retire. Adam wasn’t performing. He is set financially. Leaving to spend time with his son was just a good excuse to end it because he couldn’t hit his weight any longer.

The First Rule of Recruiting

Posted on March 16, 2016 by Tim Sackett

Sometimes we go so far into the weeds in recruiting we forget what is really important.

We have to have a brand!

We have to have an ATS! Or a new ATS!

We have to have a CRM! What the hell is a CRM!

Our job descriptions need to be better!

Our career site sucks! Don’t they all!?

We need to relaunch our employee referral program!

There are literally a million things you could focus on in recruiting and you still would have a list of crap you never even got to.

You know recruiting isn’t difficult. It’s not like we’re trying to launch the space shuttle. Recruiting is finding people for your organization. People are everywhere. We just need to talk them into coming to work for our organizations.

It’s the first rule of recruiting – Just let people know you’re hiring.

We make it so difficult when all we have to truly do is let people know we actually want to hire them. Do you have any idea how many people would really want to work for your organization, but they never know you are hiring or were hiring?

Recruiting is really only that. Just letting enough people know that you want them to work for you until you’ve reached the right people. It’s okay that you will reach some you don’t want. That’s part of the game.

To reach the people who you want, and who want you, you have to let a lot of people know you’re hiring.

Letting people know you’re hiring goes beyond your career site. It goes beyond job boards. It goes beyond employee referral programs. It’s a philosophy throughout your organization. It’s about an understanding that you want everyone to know that you’re hiring.

Most organizations don’t do this. It’s a combination of issues, but mostly it’s conceited belief that letting people know you’re hiring seems desperate. That we are too good of an organization to let everyone know we are hiring, because we don’t want everyone, we only want a few.

This is why most talent acquisition departments fail. Simple conceit.

Great recruiting isn’t conceited, great recruiting is about being humble enough to let people know you want them.

Who is responsible for the lack of good workers?

Posted on March 10, 2016 by Tim Sackett

It’s parents. First and foremost I blame parents. Parents are the number one reason you can’t find good workers because parents want their kids reach higher than they did. Thus, if Mom or Dad worked in a blue collar profession, they want their kids to look down on that work. It’s subtle. Most parents don’t come out and say “what I do is bad”, it’s more “I want you to be better than me”, by doing this, you’re telling your kids, what I do isn’t worthwhile.

It’s teachers. It’s our job to prepare you for college! No, it’s not, it’s your job to help prepare them for life after high school. That doesn’t have to be college. When did we turn public education into college preparatory and not life preparatory? Public Education has gotten so bad that the only paths a kid has after high school are college, the military or prison.

It’s the government – oh there’s a popular one. The government has subconsciously told kids that working with your hands isn’t worthwhile. How? They no longer give public education the funding that is needed to teach skilled and semi-skilled trades in schools. When I went to junior high and high school I took wood shop, metal shop, electrical shop, automotive repair, a cooking class, etc. I was told by my government, as part of my education, that these skills were important to society.

It’s the media. Besides “Dirty Jobs” which is played off as a goof reality show, what show makes you feel like working in a job that makes your hands dirty is a worthwhile and valued career in our society? None. Even if a manual labor type job is portrayed, it’s usually portrayed in a comedy sense of look how screwed up my life is for working this job. Our kids are blasted by the media constantly to only look up to people who work in white collar professions.

We all stopped valuing hard work. Dirty work. Difficult work. Unpretty work. Not socially acceptable work.

We are all to blame.

We need to start telling kids, little kids, it’s okay not to be a doctor or lawyer or banker. That being a plumber is a wonderful, fulfilling career. Being a line cook, creating someone’s meal, can be a really good job. Building some’s car is a noble profession.

Somewhere along the way, we stopped telling our kids that ‘working’ is a good thing, and started telling them, you need to go to college, because ‘working’ is bad. We have generations of kids being raised that think ‘working’ is bad. We should strive to get jobs where you don’t ‘work’. You should manage. You should lead. You should facilitate.

Not work, lord no. You might get your hands dirty. You might get a stain on your trousers. Someone might see you working! We are not a working-class family! Worst of all? You might actually like it! You might like fixing something. You might like building something. You might like creating something.

I miss a time when working was as valued as education. When you could look up at your Mom and Dad and be proud of them for working at a job that brought them home dirty, but brought them home for dinner.

Does my black face make me look more diverse?

Posted on March 9, 2016 by Tim Sackett

I’m sitting at the conference room table. It’s surrounded by my peers, most of which are white, one other, besides me is black, sprinkle in a couple of females, welcome to corporate America. We’re here because the white folks want to talk about how diversity is important. The entire time this conversation is happening they just keep staring at me and my black face. I do believe they think diversity is important.

I agree, diversity is important. We need to do something about it at our organization. But, I’m not who they think I am.

Yes, I’m black. But, I’m not diverse. In fact, the color of my skin is the only diverse thing about me!

I grew up in an upper-middle-class suburb. Not an upper-middle-class black suburb. An upper-middle-class white suburb. So, most people would actually call this a rich suburb. I was classically trained as an opera singer. I didn’t play basketball. I was a great student. I work in a white collar profession. I eat at the Olive Garden with my wife and three kids. I drive a Toyota SUV, the big one.

I might be more ‘white’ than the other white people at this table, but I have a black face. Apparently, because of my black face, I should be chosen to ‘run’ diversity for the organization. Apparently, I understand the ‘struggle’.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a black person living in America. The white female CEO of our organization walked past me on the first month on the job. I recognized her immediately and said a jolly, “Good Morning”. She said nothing and walked past me. Not an hour later she realized the black man she rudely walked past wasn’t some random black guy, but a mid-level executive in her organization, and she stopped by to give me an excuse and a jolly good morning back. I know she wouldn’t have walked past a white peer of mine without a greeting.

So, my black skin does present a challenge, but it does not make me diverse.

I ask the group, “why not Tom?” Tom, you see grew up in the inner city. Blue collar environment, with a single mom. Tom walked past a GM plant every day on his way to school. Once in a while, he would the workers selling dime bags out of the trunk of their cars in the GM parking lot. Tom played basketball and went to school on a scholarship. It was his only chance to get out of his neighborhood. Tom’s friend network has more black faces than mine, by a lot!

Tom grew up poor. Grew up surrounded by black people, Hispanic people, Asian people, people on the fringes of society, people I didn’t grow up around. Tom saw things I only saw when I went to the movies, which my parents paid for. Tom went to Baptist church, not because he was close to Jesus, but because the black women would cook a hot meal each day for the kids in the neighborhood. Tom has lived a diverse life.

“Tom!? Tom can’t lead up diversity, he’s…”, they stop before stating the obvious, like somehow saying “he’s white” out loud will change the color of his face.

Tom is diverse. Tom actually is passionate about diversity. The only thing Tom doesn’t have is my black face.

It’s decided, I’ll take on diversity. I’m better “suited” for it, they say.

(Before you lose your minds and wonder why a white guy wrote this, understand that this came from a friend of mine. A friend with a black face who doesn’t have this platform. He told me the story, I wrote it. It was a story that needed to be told. Diversity isn’t about color, yet most organizations still make it about color. It’s the sad state of diversity in organizations in America.)

Sometimes, You Quit a Job for Love

Posted on January 28, 2016 by Tim Sackett

Every once in a while you an employee who decides to move out of state, or another city, or a country, to be with the love of their life. There’s very little you can do as an HR pro or leader to keep this person. You can’t beat love. This is a story about that, but way more.

When I was in middle school my Dad did something for me that I will never be able to truly thank him for. His company, Spartan Stores, started sponsoring the Michigan Special Olympics. My Dad was asked if he would volunteer to help cook food for all the participants. He brought me along, even though I really didn’t want to go.

It was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I got to see true joy. True empathy. I got to see something that changed my life. I continued to volunteer all the way through college, then got involved heavily in coaching youth athletics, and I haven’t been back. But, I will. I only say this because I have such a special place in my heart for people living with Downs and other genetic abnormalities. They have so much to show us and offer us.

To feel love this strongly over just one thing in your life, you would be lucky. To feel this love over more than one thing in life is a godsend. Take a view, it’s only 2 minutes:

New Mexico is definitely losing, but Denver is definitely gaining!

I think it’s important to point out, there are two kinds of love here. Job love, which is very strong here. Real love, which is even stronger! When you’re employees leave you for the love of another, it can be heart wrenching on them. Do them a favor, and don’t make it harder.

Just be happy for them. Support them in every way you can. You’ll find another employee. They may never find another love of their life.

Genius is Born

Posted on January 6, 2016 by Tim Sackett

It’s an argument as old as time. Is genius born or can genius be made?

I’m squarely on the genius is born camp. True genius we don’t even understand. Einstein, Mozart, Prince, Bobby Fischer, Da Vinci, etc.

I was watching 60 Minutes this weekend because I’m old, white and love Anderson Cooper. Anderson introduced us to another great example of genius:

Click here for the full 60-minute interview of Joey Alexander.

I don’t care what Malcolm Gladwell would say, no amount of hours of practice will get you to this!

Joey was born a musical genius. He can hear something. His brain interprets the sounds. He can play it back, perfectly. Then, this is where the real genius lies, he can make it something completely new, unique, better.

I’m fascinated by this. By the concept of geniuses altogether.

I think we probably have more geniuses around us than we know, but we work to make them fit. Fit into a role. Fit into our culture. Just fit into a pattern of normalcy that we find comforting.

Joey doesn’t fit. Thankfully.

The Next Generation Just Named Itself! #NicknamingYourselfIsStupid

Posted on December 21, 2015 by Tim Sackett

Have you ever had a nickname you didn’t want? You were in the third grade and crapped your pants and some dumb kid called you ‘Stinky’ and it stuck, for life! The rest of your life you got to go around being called ‘Stinky’ and having to explain this to people.

I think most people in those situations try to create a new nickname! “Hey, guys, just call me Dice! I was at summer camp and all the guys there called me “Dice”! We played this game with dice and I was really great at it, anyway, it stuck. So, you guys can call me Dice, I’m cool with it.” Okay, Stinky, we got you!

There’s only one rule in nicknames. That rule? You can’t make your own nickname!

To my surprise the great folks at MTV decided it would be a great idea for the kids over at GenZ, that generation under the Millennials, to just come up with their own generational nickname. The MTV crew actually surveyed thousands of high school kids from across the country to determine what they would prefer to have their ‘generation’ called.

Say hello to The Founders!

Why the founders? Well, apparently this next generation has attached itself the Silicon Valley culture of founding companies. Not they have really actually done this, but it’s what they identify with, so why not act like you started this whole dot com, startup thingy.

What do we really know about these Founders? A few things for sure, that I think will help organizations understand this next generation entering the workforce:

1. They were raised during the Great Recession. Not since the Great Depression, have so many kids witnessed parents and adults close to them lose so many jobs and struggle financially. This will impact their work ethic, the importance of keeping a job, etc. Think the opposite of how Millennials view work! The Founders probably have more in common with the Greatest Generation, than the Millennials.

2. They have never not had a Smartphone. This will impact how they do their work, how they socialize and how they communicate. The Millennials had flip phones to start!

3. The media has bombarded them with unrealistic views of what work looks like. Google is an outlier, not the norm. Yet, they tend to believe it’s the norm because the ‘Googlized’ work environment gets so much publicity. 99% of work environments do not look like Google. This will cause some ‘hey, I didn’t expect this’ moments for a ton of kids in their first jobs.

I hate naming generations. Millennials, Founders, Gen-X… They’re kids. They won’t know their ass from a hole in the ground, and you’ll have to teach them most everything they’ll need to know about your company and your jobs, because our educational system continues give them real-world skills to compete.

Call them whatever you want. Entry level always seems to fit best.

2015 Top Post: HR Emoji Etiquette

Posted on December 3, 2015 by Tim Sackett

I’m on vacation this week, so you’re getting a best of week from The Project. These are the most read posts of 2015 to this point. Enjoy!

I never was a huge fan of emojis. I’m probably just too old, and out of touch to really understand. My emojis consist of basically two: smiley face and winky face ;). Really, I’ve been able to get through my life with these two emojis. I’ve never truly felt compelled to go beyond these. I either liked what you wrote = smiley face, or I wanted you to know I wasn’t seriously going to fire you = winky face.

One of my favorite comedy writers is Jenny Johnson and she recently had an article in GQ Jenny Johnson’s Guide to Emoji Etiquette. It’s brilliantly funny and it gave me the idea that HR should have its own emoji etiquette, so I decided to give it a run. Here’s what I came up with:

I’m going to fire Fred in Accounting with the creepy mustache:

(you’ll notice I like my HR ladies to wear a crown!)